Oh God Another Lawyer Joke

Arvon · 01-01-2003, 11:04 AM

The Accident

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.

He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?"

"Well," the friend replies, "I ran into a lawyer".

"Okay," says the man, "That explains the blood... but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"

"Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

9_1_6 · 01-01-2003, 11:39 AM

Enough with the lawyer jokes already..LoL.. this one is not that good..but still made me giggle. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Harkoliar · 01-01-2003, 09:20 PM

it still made me smile a little

01-02-2003, 12:57 AM

Where do you get all this stuff) and does Arvon post anything other than jokes?

Arvon · 01-02-2003, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Slizerio:
Where do you get all this stuff) and does Arvon post anything other than jokes?

Yes often I put answers to others post. I won't post policical or religious stuff here.

Beaumanoir · 01-02-2003, 03:37 PM

Hehe, that made me giggle quite a bit

Piestrider · 01-02-2003, 03:49 PM

Maybe I'm stupid but I just don't get it. How can a car be total loss? Why did he chase him through the park? What is a DOM? and what is a Walnetta?
ouch! soooo confused! head hurting!

johnny · 01-02-2003, 04:30 PM

Thought i'd join in the lawyer fun.

Johnny Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property. "Retrieving this duck that I just shot", he replied.
"That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the farmer.

Mr. Cochran asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to. "No", replied the farmer, "I don't know, and I don't care."

"I am Johnny Cochran, famous lawyer from Los Angeles", came the reply. "I am the lawyer that got O.J. Simpson off. I'm the reason he is a free man today. And if you don't let me get that duck, I can sue you for your farm, your truck, and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."

"Well," said the farmer, "In Montana the only law we go by is the '3 kicks law'."

"Never heard of it", said Johnny.

The farmer said, "I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that duck is yours".

Cochran thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old farmer. "Fair enough", he said.

So the farmer kicked Johnny violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. After several moments, Johnny slowly made it back to his feet. "Alright, now it's my turn", said Johnny.

"Aw, forget it", said the farmer. "You can have the duck."

Arvon · 01-02-2003, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by johnny:
Thought i'd join in the lawyer fun.

Johnny Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property. "Retrieving this duck that I just shot", he replied.
"That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the farmer.

Mr. Cochran asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to. "No", replied the farmer, "I don't know, and I don't care."

"I am Johnny Cochran, famous lawyer from Los Angeles", came the reply. "I am the lawyer that got O.J. Simpson off. I'm the reason he is a free man today. And if you don't let me get that duck, I can sue you for your farm, your truck, and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."

"Well," said the farmer, "In Montana the only law we go by is the '3 kicks

law'."

"Never heard of it", said Johnny.

The farmer said, "I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that duck is yours".

Cochran thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old farmer. "Fair enough", he said.

So the farmer kicked Johnny violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. After several moments, Johnny slowly made it back to his feet. "Alright, now it's my turn", said Johnny.

"Aw, forget it", said the farmer. "You can have the duck."

I've heard a variation of that one...but it is good.

Sythe · 01-02-2003, 04:57 PM

lol that was good!

01-01-2003, 11:04 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	The Accident A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend replies, "I ran into a lawyer". "Okay," says the man, "That explains the blood... but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park." __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

01-01-2003, 11:39 AM	#2
9_1_6 Elminster Join Date: November 2, 2002 Location: ♣♣♣ Age: 39 Posts: 457	Enough with the lawyer jokes already..LoL.. this one is not that good..but still made me giggle. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> 9_1_6 <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> <br />LIQUID STICK PEOPLE!

01-01-2003, 09:20 PM	#3
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 42 Posts: 5,556	it still made me smile a little __________________ Catch me if you can..

01-02-2003, 03:37 PM	#6
Beaumanoir Iron Throne Cult Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK. Age: 36 Posts: 4,896	Hehe, that made me giggle quite a bit __________________ My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard.

01-02-2003, 03:49 PM	#7
Piestrider Zhentarim Guard Join Date: February 25, 2002 Location: Waxahachie TX Age: 38 Posts: 389	Maybe I'm stupid but I just don't get it. How can a car be total loss? Why did he chase him through the park? What is a DOM? and what is a Walnetta? ouch! soooo confused! head hurting! __________________ yes

01-02-2003, 12:57 AM	#4
Slizerio Guest Posts: n/a	Where do you get all this stuff) and does Arvon post anything other than jokes?

01-02-2003, 04:30 PM	#8
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	Thought i'd join in the lawyer fun. Johnny Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property. "Retrieving this duck that I just shot", he replied. "That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the farmer. Mr. Cochran asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to. "No", replied the farmer, "I don't know, and I don't care." "I am Johnny Cochran, famous lawyer from Los Angeles", came the reply. "I am the lawyer that got O.J. Simpson off. I'm the reason he is a free man today. And if you don't let me get that duck, I can sue you for your farm, your truck, and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street." "Well," said the farmer, "In Montana the only law we go by is the '3 kicks law'." "Never heard of it", said Johnny. The farmer said, "I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that duck is yours". Cochran thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old farmer. "Fair enough", he said. So the farmer kicked Johnny violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. After several moments, Johnny slowly made it back to his feet. "Alright, now it's my turn", said Johnny. "Aw, forget it", said the farmer. "You can have the duck." __________________

01-02-2003, 04:57 PM	#10
Sythe Ra Join Date: May 19, 2002 Location: The US of A Age: 36 Posts: 2,365	lol that was good! __________________ Slythe is back! Back again! Haha! <br /><br />[url]\"http://imageshack.us\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/9928/130blood4ts.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

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