whatever happend to politeness? - Page 3

catzenpewters · 03-23-2005, 07:57 PM

Part of it I think is location. For the most part, the bigger the city, the less polite the inhabitants. There are strong cultural differences as well. Here's a weird one - 30% of Canadians actually thank the bank machines.

I guess one can be too polite too!

Sir Degrader · 03-23-2005, 08:03 PM

Where on earth did you get that stastistic?

shamrock_uk · 03-23-2005, 08:11 PM

No such thing as being too polite IMO [img]smile.gif[/img] Always better to err on the side of caution. And slightly off-topic I know, but is Canada really as amazing as its made out to be? BfC, South Park, Simpsons all seem to put it on a massive pedestal - is this justified?

Sir Degrader · 03-23-2005, 08:17 PM

Not really, no.

Ilander · 03-23-2005, 08:54 PM

...I'm polite, now piss off!

Politeness as such disappeared as the nations of the world gravitated toward industrial and post-industrial societies, where time became the thing to live by, second by second. If life was a bit more relaxed, less hasty, I'm sure that there would be fewer rude people.

Salinye · 03-23-2005, 09:05 PM

Well, I think the problem is probably a combination of a lot of things, however, I think a main problem is that manners and kindness aren't schools of thought that are valued enough to really be taught. What I mean by that is that children and people alike tend to learn more from actions than they do words. We parents can't tell our kids to be nice and have manners and then flip off that guy that cuts us off in traffic while battering him with a series of our favorite swear words. In my opinion, the best way to restore manners and kindness in the world is to restore them in ourselves first. I know, that answer sucks, but I'm betting it is probably true!! :0) I don't give up hope because I think people are inately good and just suffering from "Screw-it-there-is-no-point-in-being-nice-when-everyone-is-so-mean-itus!"

Just my two cents worth. :0) Great topic!

~Salinye

RevRuby · 03-24-2005, 12:36 PM

hmmmm..politeness and manners gone?

as a parent i believe in the "do as i'm doing" method of teaching. in other words even when i am exasperated and raising my voice with my 14mo to get off the computer chair, i'm still saying please, and i still say thank you, if she listens, which sometimes she does.

some people have looked down on my parenting style (loose, i'm not bothered by my kids drawing on my walls so long as it's not with permanent marker) but i wonder how many of them had a 14 mo saying (and signing) "please" for cookies. altho carol is not at a stage where she understand apologizing or giving kisses where we have hurt someone, both justice (6yo) and erilyn (2yo) do and also do much easier if we've apologized for our wrongs, too (i.e. erilyn gets knocked down while being pulled away from hurting her little sister, so we kiss and apologize her, she kisses and apologizes to her sissy.)

Scarab · 03-24-2005, 12:58 PM

Polite or no, it's really how one reacts to a situation that matters. It's EASY to get pissed at someone for being "rude". The challenge is staying calm and being kind in the face of rudeness.

We are in the age of Horus, the child-god. This means that humans, in general, are going to behave more like children, selfish and instictive. Children want attention, and "being bad" gets attention better than "being nice". Niceness is ignored by most folks because they are in a hurry and don't take notice.

Best thing to do in the face of rudeness is the same thing to do in the face of a misbehaving child: smile and ignore it. If this does not work, then one can calmly ask with a concerned face: "is everything okay? You seem upset." Purposefully 'confusing' someone's rudeness for them needing help will often disarm the rude person and force them to see you as another human with feelings "too".

It may sound odd, but it's the rude people that actually teach us about ourselves. Anyone can be calm with Mr. Nice-Nice.. Patience is a virtue taught by one's enemies.

_Scarab

Dragonshadow · 03-24-2005, 01:33 PM

I was bright up to be polite. Whether I am or not is a topic open for discussion.
But most of teh people in my school are rude gits.

And what's wrong with thanking bank machines? I thank my computer sometimes.

03-23-2005, 08:54 PM	#25
Ilander 20th Level Warrior Join Date: December 28, 2003 Location: Kentucky Age: 39 Posts: 2,820	...I'm polite, now piss off! Politeness as such disappeared as the nations of the world gravitated toward industrial and post-industrial societies, where time became the thing to live by, second by second. If life was a bit more relaxed, less hasty, I'm sure that there would be fewer rude people. __________________ Is that what you really want to say?

03-23-2005, 09:05 PM	#26
Salinye Manshoon Join Date: March 22, 2005 Location: Washington State Age: 50 Posts: 153	Well, I think the problem is probably a combination of a lot of things, however, I think a main problem is that manners and kindness aren't schools of thought that are valued enough to really be taught. What I mean by that is that children and people alike tend to learn more from actions than they do words. We parents can't tell our kids to be nice and have manners and then flip off that guy that cuts us off in traffic while battering him with a series of our favorite swear words. In my opinion, the best way to restore manners and kindness in the world is to restore them in ourselves first. I know, that answer sucks, but I'm betting it is probably true!! :0) I don't give up hope because I think people are inately good and just suffering from "Screw-it-there-is-no-point-in-being-nice-when-everyone-is-so-mean-itus!" Just my two cents worth. :0) Great topic! ~Salinye __________________ [img]\"http://home.comcast.net/~sunshineburritos/Salinyesigsmallest.jpg\" alt=\" - \" />

03-24-2005, 12:36 PM	#27
RevRuby Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Limbo Age: 45 Posts: 1,720	hmmmm..politeness and manners gone? as a parent i believe in the "do as i'm doing" method of teaching. in other words even when i am exasperated and raising my voice with my 14mo to get off the computer chair, i'm still saying please, and i still say thank you, if she listens, which sometimes she does. some people have looked down on my parenting style (loose, i'm not bothered by my kids drawing on my walls so long as it's not with permanent marker) but i wonder how many of them had a 14 mo saying (and signing) "please" for cookies. altho carol is not at a stage where she understand apologizing or giving kisses where we have hurt someone, both justice (6yo) and erilyn (2yo) do and also do much easier if we've apologized for our wrongs, too (i.e. erilyn gets knocked down while being pulled away from hurting her little sister, so we kiss and apologize her, she kisses and apologizes to her sissy.) __________________ peek-a-boo

03-24-2005, 01:33 PM	#29
Dragonshadow Quth-Maren Join Date: February 17, 2003 Location: Portsmouth Age: 35 Posts: 4,145	I was bright up to be polite. Whether I am or not is a topic open for discussion. But most of teh people in my school are rude gits. And what's wrong with thanking bank machines? I thank my computer sometimes. __________________ aka Loc der Graf, Quillruke

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03-23-2005, 07:57 PM	#21
catzenpewters Manshoon Join Date: March 11, 2001 Location: Victoria, BC, Canada Age: 53 Posts: 204	Part of it I think is location. For the most part, the bigger the city, the less polite the inhabitants. There are strong cultural differences as well. Here's a weird one - 30% of Canadians actually thank the bank machines. I guess one can be too polite too!

03-23-2005, 08:03 PM	#22
Sir Degrader Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: November 3, 2001 Location: Canada Age: 64 Posts: 2,871	Where on earth did you get that stastistic?

03-23-2005, 08:11 PM	#23
shamrock_uk Dracolich Join Date: January 24, 2004 Location: UK Age: 42 Posts: 3,092	No such thing as being too polite IMO [img]smile.gif[/img] Always better to err on the side of caution. And slightly off-topic I know, but is Canada really as amazing as its made out to be? BfC, South Park, Simpsons all seem to put it on a massive pedestal - is this justified?

03-23-2005, 08:17 PM	#24
Sir Degrader Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: November 3, 2001 Location: Canada Age: 64 Posts: 2,871	Not really, no.

03-24-2005, 12:58 PM	#28
Scarab Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: January 26, 2005 Location: DE, USA Age: 50 Posts: 39	Polite or no, it's really how one reacts to a situation that matters. It's EASY to get pissed at someone for being "rude". The challenge is staying calm and being kind in the face of rudeness. We are in the age of Horus, the child-god. This means that humans, in general, are going to behave more like children, selfish and instictive. Children want attention, and "being bad" gets attention better than "being nice". Niceness is ignored by most folks because they are in a hurry and don't take notice. Best thing to do in the face of rudeness is the same thing to do in the face of a misbehaving child: smile and ignore it. If this does not work, then one can calmly ask with a concerned face: "is everything okay? You seem upset." Purposefully 'confusing' someone's rudeness for them needing help will often disarm the rude person and force them to see you as another human with feelings "too". It may sound odd, but it's the rude people that actually teach us about ourselves. Anyone can be calm with Mr. Nice-Nice.. Patience is a virtue taught by one's enemies. _Scarab

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