Showering habits (joke)

Hivetyrant · 10-30-2003, 07:44 PM

Dont know if this has been posted already, but for all of you who havnt seen it, well here it is.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket
according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen
along the way, cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
Complain and whine about getting fat. Get in shower.

Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumice stone.

Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.

Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.

Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with
enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until
red raw.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make
sure that it's rinsed completely out.

Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses
pressure and turns red hot.

Turn off shower.

Clean all wet shower surfaces. Spray mould spots with flash
bathroom spray.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African
country.

Wrap hair in super-absorbant second towel.

Check entire body for remotest sign of spots or extraneous hair.
Attack with nails or tweezers if found.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If husband seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom
to spend half an hour getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in pile on
floor. Walk naked to bathroom. If wife sees, shake manhood at her
making "Woo" sound.

Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you
have pecs (no).

Admire size of manhood in mirror, scratch privates and smell
fingers for one last whiff.

Get in shower.

Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one. Wash face

Wash armpits

Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.

Wash privates and the surrounding area.

Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.

Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.

Make shampoo Mohawk. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.

Pee (in shower).

Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor
because shower curtain was outside bath for whole shower time.

Partially dry off.

Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of
manhood (again).

Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.

Leave bathroom light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull
off towel, grab manhood, say, "Yeah baby," and thrust pelvis at
her.

Quickly check used underpants for staining, put them on. Unravel
socks, make sure they're not too crusty and pull them on. Change
shirt but otherwise dress in most of yesterday's clothes...

[ 10-30-2003, 07:45 PM: Message edited by: Hivetyrant ]

cloud ff7 38 · 10-31-2003, 09:17 AM

thats great especially the part where you shake your man hood.

Boutte · 10-31-2003, 08:13 PM

Hilarious!!

SomeGuy · 10-31-2003, 08:49 PM

Loved it man, hilarious!

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 10-31-2003, 09:23 PM

I fail to see the humour... I also notice a lack of female responces [img]tongue.gif[/img]

T/-/alali · 11-01-2003, 09:19 AM

I've seen that before! Funny stuff though. "Shake your manhood!"

RoSs_bg2_rox · 11-01-2003, 10:44 AM

ROFLMAO!!!

Lord · 11-01-2003, 11:05 AM

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] Now where'd you find that one?

Zuvio · 11-01-2003, 06:25 PM

It's true! Farts do sound loud in the bathroom!

11-01-2003, 07:06 PM

[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Funny stuff.

10-31-2003, 08:13 PM	#3
Boutte The Magister Join Date: April 12, 2003 Location: Huntington Baech CA Age: 71 Posts: 111	Hilarious!! __________________ \"I wouldn\'t belong to a group that would have some one like me as a member\"<br /> Groucho

10-31-2003, 08:49 PM	#4
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 34 Posts: 4,238	Loved it man, hilarious! __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

11-01-2003, 09:19 AM	#6
T/-/alali Baaz Draconian Join Date: September 8, 2002 Location: Cornelius,NC Age: 37 Posts: 700	I've seen that before! Funny stuff though. "Shake your manhood!" __________________ I am the Ferret king, master of the hordes, allied to Someguy\'s mighty pinguins, we will soon rule the world!

11-01-2003, 10:44 AM	#7
RoSs_bg2_rox Zartan Join Date: May 20, 2003 Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland Age: 36 Posts: 5,225	ROFLMAO!!! __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/dragonwater2.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

11-01-2003, 11:05 AM	#8
Lord Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: June 3, 2003 Location: New York Age: 40 Posts: 3,302	[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] Now where'd you find that one? __________________ "You're a thief and a liar." "No, I only lied about being a thief."

10-30-2003, 07:44 PM	#1
Hivetyrant Jack Burton Join Date: August 24, 2002 Location: Aussie now in the US of A! Age: 38 Posts: 5,403	Dont know if this has been posted already, but for all of you who havnt seen it, well here it is. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way, cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat. Get in shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's rinsed completely out. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot. Turn off shower. Clean all wet shower surfaces. Spray mould spots with flash bathroom spray. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super-absorbant second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots or extraneous hair. Attack with nails or tweezers if found. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend half an hour getting dressed. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in pile on floor. Walk naked to bathroom. If wife sees, shake manhood at her making "Woo" sound. Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire size of manhood in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff. Get in shower. Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one. Wash face Wash armpits Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower. Wash privates and the surrounding area. Wash butt, leaving hair on soap. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make shampoo Mohawk. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Pee (in shower). Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain was outside bath for whole shower time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of manhood (again). Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor. Leave bathroom light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab manhood, say, "Yeah baby," and thrust pelvis at her. Quickly check used underpants for staining, put them on. Unravel socks, make sure they're not too crusty and pull them on. Change shirt but otherwise dress in most of yesterday's clothes... [ 10-30-2003, 07:45 PM: Message edited by: Hivetyrant ]

10-31-2003, 09:17 AM	#2
cloud ff7 38 User suspended until [Nov26] Join Date: August 7, 2003 Location: Midgar Age: 36 Posts: 533	thats great especially the part where you shake your man hood.

10-31-2003, 09:23 PM	#5
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 40 Posts: 7,029	I fail to see the humour... I also notice a lack of female responces [img]tongue.gif[/img]

11-01-2003, 06:25 PM	#9
Zuvio Gold Dragon Join Date: May 19, 2002 Location: Blessed are those who are not.... Age: 44 Posts: 2,556	It's true! Farts do sound loud in the bathroom! __________________ [img]\"http://img121.exs.cx/img121/4236/zuviodemonnoname2hf.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

11-01-2003, 07:06 PM	#10
GForce Guest Posts: n/a	[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Funny stuff.

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