Relationship help needed!

purre · 11-22-2002, 01:04 PM

Here is my situation:
I had this boyfriend,and we broke up couple of months ago (because we had totally different expectations of our relationship) and now suddenly he contacted me through e-mail.He wants us to get together again.I dont want that,but I dont know how to tell that to him.I dont want to be too rough to him.
Now I am asking from you wiser members,how do I tell him that I dont want us to continue? Should I explain why I dont want,or just say no? please help.

(why cant I even write the topic correctly?)

[ 11-22-2002, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: purre ]

Gammit · 11-22-2002, 01:07 PM

As a guy, I know I would prefer to be told the truth, gently. Just tell him that as sweet as his offer is, you really arne't interested.

antryg · 11-22-2002, 01:08 PM

Just be open and honest. If you don't want to get back together, firmly and politely tell him so.

11-22-2002, 01:10 PM

I second the other two guys, just be polite but firm and unambiguous. Let him know that you have moved on and so should he.

purre · 11-22-2002, 01:12 PM

Thank you very much for helping. [img]smile.gif[/img]
I specially needed guys opinions.
I will tell him today (hopefully he wont take that too hard)

antryg · 11-22-2002, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by purre:
Thank you very much for helping. [img]smile.gif[/img]
I specially needed guys opinions.
I will tell him today (hopefully he wont take that too hard)

It really doesn't matter if he takes it hard. You are not responsible for his feelings. Getting back together or continueing a relationship because the other person would be hurt is not healthy.

11-22-2002, 01:19 PM

Totally agree with Antryg here, your only obligation to him is to be polite, honest and not cruel. You have a right to make this choice. Don't accept any guilt over it.

purre · 11-22-2002, 02:55 PM

Thanks for your nice words antryg and magiK. [img]smile.gif[/img]
I am glad that it is over now.I told him as you adviced,thanks for help.
This situation was totally new to me,and I am used to being nice to people.

antryg · 11-22-2002, 03:31 PM

Trust me. Being honest in not wanting to get back together is being nice.

Timber Loftis · 11-22-2002, 03:33 PM

I think you should have strung him along a bit. That way, when you have a really bad day within the next few weeks, you could simply crush his wee little male ego like a bug and make yourself feel a bit better.

Just joking. You did fine.

11-22-2002, 01:07 PM	#2
Gammit Elminster Join Date: October 26, 2001 Location: Sterling Heights, MI, USA Age: 47 Posts: 477	As a guy, I know I would prefer to be told the truth, gently. Just tell him that as sweet as his offer is, you really arne't interested. __________________ IW resident science and mathematics teacher<br /><br />\"No, no, you\'re not thinking; you\'re just being logical.\"<br />-Niels Bohr

11-22-2002, 01:08 PM	#3
antryg Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2002 Location: Dallas, Tx. Age: 22 Posts: 1,765	Just be open and honest. If you don't want to get back together, firmly and politely tell him so. __________________

11-22-2002, 03:31 PM	#9
antryg Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2002 Location: Dallas, Tx. Age: 22 Posts: 1,765	Trust me. Being honest in not wanting to get back together is being nice. __________________

11-22-2002, 03:33 PM	#10
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	I think you should have strung him along a bit. That way, when you have a really bad day within the next few weeks, you could simply crush his wee little male ego like a bug and make yourself feel a bit better. Just joking. You did fine. __________________

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11-22-2002, 01:04 PM	#1
purre Banned Join Date: October 31, 2002 Location: Finland Age: 40 Posts: 649	Here is my situation: I had this boyfriend,and we broke up couple of months ago (because we had totally different expectations of our relationship) and now suddenly he contacted me through e-mail.He wants us to get together again.I dont want that,but I dont know how to tell that to him.I dont want to be too rough to him. Now I am asking from you wiser members,how do I tell him that I dont want us to continue? Should I explain why I dont want,or just say no? please help. (why cant I even write the topic correctly?) [ 11-22-2002, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: purre ]

11-22-2002, 01:10 PM	#4
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	I second the other two guys, just be polite but firm and unambiguous. Let him know that you have moved on and so should he.

11-22-2002, 01:12 PM	#5
purre Banned Join Date: October 31, 2002 Location: Finland Age: 40 Posts: 649	Thank you very much for helping. [img]smile.gif[/img] I specially needed guys opinions. I will tell him today (hopefully he wont take that too hard)

11-22-2002, 01:19 PM	#7
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	Totally agree with Antryg here, your only obligation to him is to be polite, honest and not cruel. You have a right to make this choice. Don't accept any guilt over it.

11-22-2002, 02:55 PM	#8
purre Banned Join Date: October 31, 2002 Location: Finland Age: 40 Posts: 649	Thanks for your nice words antryg and magiK. [img]smile.gif[/img] I am glad that it is over now.I told him as you adviced,thanks for help. This situation was totally new to me,and I am used to being nice to people.

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