Halloween Humor

Charean · 10-28-2002, 02:12 PM

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: How do you make a witch stew?
A: Keep her waiting for hours.

Q: How do ghosts begin their letters?
A: "Tomb it may concern..."

Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed.

Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person's Corn Flakes?
A: A cereal killer

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What is a ghost's favorite ride?
A: A roller ghoster.

Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty?
A: Tired blood.

Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up.

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end.

Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying?
A: You can see right through him.

Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?
A: They both have megabytes.

Q: Where do vampires live?
A: At the Vampire State Building.

Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Lake Erie.

Q: How can you tell when a window is scared?
A: They get shudders.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.

Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: What tops off a ghost's sundae?
A: Whipped Scream

Q: What has a black hat, flies on a broomstick, and can't see anything?
A: A witch with her eyes closed.

Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he's always a goblin.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
A: He's mist.

Q: What sailor like to be chilled to the bone?
A: A skeleton crew.

Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A: In the casketeria.

Q: Where did the goblin throw the football?
A: Over the ghoul line.

Q: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A: Toasty ghosty.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: Hoblin Goblin.

Q: What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea?
A: A Sand-witch

Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
A: A boo-loney sandwich.

Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A: A wash-and-werewolf.

Q: What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Fasten your sheet belt.

Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
A: His ghoul friend.

Q: What is a vampires favourite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel.

Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound.

Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
A: Hallowieners.

Q: What do you call serious rocks?
A: Grave stones.

Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
A: By witchful thinking.

Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle?
A: It was a chain letter.

Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?
A: Lazybones

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin

More Goulish Humor

The professor was removing organs from the deceased before his students, all the while saying, ". . . and this is the heart, and this is the liver, and this is the kidney, and this is . . ."
"What the heck is the professor doing?" asked a student.
"Shh! He's giving an organ recital."

You heard about the little mouse who looked up, saw a bat, and thought it was his fairy godmother?

Bloodshed - where the Red Cross keeps the plasma

Cemetary - bone zone.

Headline: "Due to strike, grave-digging at cemetary will be done by skeleton crews"

A kid stole a sign from a nursery and stuck it in front of a funeral parlor. It read: "LET US DO YOUR PLANTING FOR YOU."

Undertaker - the last guy to let you down.

Downunda · 10-28-2002, 02:20 PM

my god, they're worse than Arvons

chi master · 10-28-2002, 02:24 PM

That was a very long post!!!

Sir Goulum · 10-28-2002, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Downunda:
my god, they're worse than Arvons

Hey! Arvons are good!

LordKathen · 10-28-2002, 06:07 PM

Pretty good...

Darkman · 10-29-2002, 01:46 AM

Oh my... these are great! Gonna share these with my roommate

Gromnir · 10-29-2002, 08:18 AM

I must admit these are the worst jokes i have ever heard!

Charean · 10-29-2002, 11:33 AM

Proud to bring the worst puns possible for your groaning amusement.

Charean · 10-29-2002, 11:53 AM

A few more:

Q: What is a ghost's favorite candy?
A: Boo-ble gum.

Q: Do zombies like being dead?
A: Of corpse they do!

Q: What does a cool witch ride instead of a motocycle?
A: A brrr-oomstick!

Q: What do you call a monster chasing a train full of people?
A: Hungry!

Q: What do you get when you cross a skeleton with a jar of peanut butter?
A: Extra-crunchy peanut butter.

Q: Why did the witches cancel the baseball game?
A: They couldn't find their bats.

Monster child: Mommy, mommy, I hate my teacher's guts!
Monster mother: Then leave them on the side of your plate.

Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter?
• He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through its heart because steaks were too expensive

What did the momma ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?
• Buckle your sheet belt

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
• Dayscare centers

Who is the witches favorite singer?
• Robert Ghoulet

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
• Napoleon bone-apart

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
• Bamboo

Why do you always find ghouls and demons together?
• Because demons are a ghoul's best friend

/)eathKiller · 10-29-2002, 11:58 AM

O_O lame joke alarm... can't stop sounding! aaah! ears! ... bleeding ears...

10-28-2002, 02:12 PM	#1
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 61 Posts: 2,201	Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin Pi. Q: How do you make a witch stew? A: Keep her waiting for hours. Q: How do ghosts begin their letters? A: "Tomb it may concern..." Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist? A: He was repossessed. Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person's Corn Flakes? A: A cereal killer Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch. Q: What is a ghost's favorite ride? A: A roller ghoster. Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries? A: Because people are dying to get in. Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty? A: Tired blood. Q: Why was the mummy so tense? A: He was all wound up. Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best? A: A dead end. Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying? A: You can see right through him. Q: How is a werewolf like a computer? A: They both have megabytes. Q: Where do vampires live? A: At the Vampire State Building. Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A: They're afraid of flying off the handle. Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation? A: Lake Erie. Q: How can you tell when a window is scared? A: They get shudders. Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party? A: It had no body to dance with. Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads? A: Hello, hello, hello. Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A: Spelling! Q: When does a skeleton laugh? A: When something tickles his funny bone. Q: What tops off a ghost's sundae? A: Whipped Scream Q: What has a black hat, flies on a broomstick, and can't see anything? A: A witch with her eyes closed. Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A: Because he's always a goblin. Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog? A: He's mist. Q: What sailor like to be chilled to the bone? A: A skeleton crew. Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A: In the casketeria. Q: Where did the goblin throw the football? A: Over the ghoul line. Q: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A: Toasty ghosty. Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin. Q: What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea? A: A Sand-witch Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner? A: A boo-loney sandwich. Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit? A: A wash-and-werewolf. Q: What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost? A: Fasten your sheet belt. Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with? A: His ghoul friend. Q: What is a vampires favourite mode of transportation? A: A blood vessel. Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula? A: A blood hound. Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best? A: Hallowieners. Q: What do you call serious rocks? A: Grave stones. Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom? A: By witchful thinking. Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter. Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn? A: It was a stake sandwich. Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house? A: Lazybones Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A: To stop his coffin More Goulish Humor The professor was removing organs from the deceased before his students, all the while saying, ". . . and this is the heart, and this is the liver, and this is the kidney, and this is . . ." "What the heck is the professor doing?" asked a student. "Shh! He's giving an organ recital." You heard about the little mouse who looked up, saw a bat, and thought it was his fairy godmother? Bloodshed - where the Red Cross keeps the plasma Cemetary - bone zone. Headline: "Due to strike, grave-digging at cemetary will be done by skeleton crews" A kid stole a sign from a nursery and stuck it in front of a funeral parlor. It read: "LET US DO YOUR PLANTING FOR YOU." Undertaker - the last guy to let you down. __________________ And then there were 6.

10-28-2002, 02:20 PM	#2
Downunda Set - Egyptian God of Chaos Join Date: January 7, 2002 Location: Christchurch, New Zealand Age: 46 Posts: 2,975	my god, they're worse than Arvons __________________ \"Doing stuff is overrated, like Hitler, he did lots of stuff, but doesn\'t everybody wish he\'d just stayed at home and smoked pot?!?\"

10-28-2002, 02:24 PM	#3
chi master Zhentarim Guard Join Date: July 19, 2002 Location: New Zealand Age: 35 Posts: 398	That was a very long post!!! __________________ Long time no see.

10-28-2002, 06:07 PM	#5
LordKathen Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Kennewick, WA Age: 53 Posts: 3,166	Pretty good... __________________

10-29-2002, 01:46 AM	#6
Darkman Avatar Join Date: July 11, 2001 Location: Austin, Texas Age: 43 Posts: 525	Oh my... these are great! Gonna share these with my roommate __________________ There more of it there is,<br />The less you see.

10-29-2002, 08:18 AM	#7
Gromnir Dungeon Master Join Date: July 15, 2002 Location: Land of the Tea Pots Age: 22 Posts: 69	I must admit these are the worst jokes i have ever heard! __________________ Thinking of death while living,<br />This is the warrior\'s way<br />thinking of pain when in pleasure.<br />keeps you alive from day to day<br /><br />Time is a great teacher, and then kills all it\'s students.<br /><br />DJG\'s first official helper and second in command. <br /><br />

10-29-2002, 11:33 AM	#8
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 61 Posts: 2,201	Proud to bring the worst puns possible for your groaning amusement. __________________ And then there were 6.

10-29-2002, 11:53 AM	#9
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 61 Posts: 2,201	A few more: Q: What is a ghost's favorite candy? A: Boo-ble gum. Q: Do zombies like being dead? A: Of corpse they do! Q: What does a cool witch ride instead of a motocycle? A: A brrr-oomstick! Q: What do you call a monster chasing a train full of people? A: Hungry! Q: What do you get when you cross a skeleton with a jar of peanut butter? A: Extra-crunchy peanut butter. Q: Why did the witches cancel the baseball game? A: They couldn't find their bats. Monster child: Mommy, mommy, I hate my teacher's guts! Monster mother: Then leave them on the side of your plate. Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter? • He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through its heart because steaks were too expensive What did the momma ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? • Buckle your sheet belt Where do baby ghosts go during the day? • Dayscare centers Who is the witches favorite singer? • Robert Ghoulet Who was the most famous French skeleton? • Napoleon bone-apart What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? • Bamboo Why do you always find ghouls and demons together? • Because demons are a ghoul's best friend __________________ And then there were 6.

10-29-2002, 11:58 AM	#10
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 39 Posts: 6,043	O_O lame joke alarm... can't stop sounding! aaah! ears! ... bleeding ears... __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

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