XI: Xvart Integration

[Legolas]

Hear ye, citizens of the Sword Coast. In the grand city of Baldur's gate, the Senate shall now convene to determine classification and use of your favourite blue-skinned cow murderers! Are they the next race to drop from near-civilisation to foodstore, or are they too lean to be worth the effort? You'll hear it here first, at the cawing of the cock I roll from my rock! Brought to you by the Helm 'n Cloak, the finest establishment this side of Waterdeep! Cubolde sur une stick now on the menu!



Episode 1: A Halfling's Quest
A valiant struggle to save what is basically food from the adventurer's swords.

Episode 2: A Halfling's Absence
With hopes and dreams shattered and charisma 18 gone, the senate knows doubt.

Episode 3: A Halfling's Meal
Justice is served as the senate discovers the true purpose of kobolds.



*waits for the murmurs to die down*

My highly esteemed fellow members of the Senate,
With yet another decision behind us and the kobold classified and served,
It is time we turn our attention to other concerns plaguing the common people and the wealthy alike.
And indeed, at this time there can be no greater concern to us than the classification, and possible integration, of the Xvart.
Therefore let us act as biologists once more as we strive to discover what drives these little creatures, and as gnomish inventors as we examine,
How If Ever they may serve our society.
It may well be common knowledge within these fair halls, that councilmember Ross stands strongly in favour of expanding our diet, thereby diminishing our chance at scurvey and similar nasty diseases.
As such, the chair feels that it is in fact this member who should be allowed to make first case before all others. I would hereby like to direct you to the soapbox we all know so well.

Thank you

[Zuvio]

You numbered the Xvart chapter, you gave it a XI!! ALready you are clouding our judgements and obscuring the formal procedures that go hand-in-hand in such a major topic as integration!! I say we pick out some random Xvarts, let them take a test to measure their intelligence-quotiënt and we eat those who fail. After these results, we might have some point of reference of exactly *what* these rotten smurfs can contribute to our grand society!!

[Sythe]

I say this: Let them become productive members in our society. Xvarts do not have low intellgence. We greatly underestimate their intellect! Every person in this senate knows they speak common! As I have said before, they may not be civilized compared to us but they are in their own way. They have tribes and villages. I believe integration with Xvarts will be a good thing. We can have them as messangers, miners, farming and other productive tasks. Having more workers equals a boosted economy in the city. I have a thought some are thinking "These petty blue smurfs do not posses the required intellgence to become useful members of civilized society." I disagree, even creatures with low intellect can still be useful. They can perform menial tasks such as cleaning.

Many of you here are adventurers or former adventurers. You must know that this reigion is a dangerous place, especially the road no doubt. My friends let us make the Sword Coast a more peaceful place to live in. By making a foe into an friend.

Slythe

[Dron_Cah]

I believe integration with Xvarts will be a good thing. We can have them as messangers, miners, farming and other productive tasks. Having more workers equals a boosted economy in the city.

This is a good thing? More competition for jobs? How many beggars are on the streets of Baldur's Gate because of lack of jobs? Bringing in more menial laborers will simply increase the homeless rate and litter our streets with beggars. I say eat em if you can! How do they taste, and aren't they a side-order at the newly sanctioned restraunt?

[Lord]

Originally posted by Dron_Cah: This is a good thing? More competition for jobs? How many beggars are on the streets of Baldur's Gate because of lack of jobs? Bringing in more menial laborers will simply increase the homeless rate and litter our streets with beggars. I say eat em if you can! How do they taste, and aren't they a side-order at the newly sanctioned restraunt?

I can't wait...blue meat! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
And where is this restaurant? I've been looking all over for it

[Firestormalpha]

Actually, Xvarts are not currently served in any food form at the moment Dron_Cah. Also the beggars aren't beggars for lack of positions so much as lack will to be productive members of society. I used to give them coin so that they may pull themselves from the mirey gutters where they lay only to find them drunk lying behind a cheap tavern not an hour later.

They will not increase the homeless statistic as they do not occupy enough space to displace those that can afford a place to live already.

[Zuvio]

Well, I'm still an adventurer, though my travels are now elsewhere (outer space even!). But I stil have no need for Xvarts or beggars: they lack the CON to carry my things and the WIT (no abbr. just wit) to withstand danger! And do I really want a known cow-butcher to herd other animals? I may be forced to come over and kill some Xvart if they were to cross the line. I can't have that! I'm a peacefull person! Let them do non labor-intensive tasks that keep them far away from the herd: like selling tickets for long-distance travel, or serve burgers at the INN's! And what about their prospects, do they have not wishes? Maybe there is this one thing that they always wanted to do? I say we make a form on which they can declare their wishes and needs, and then will consider what to do.

[Lord Dracon]

you call yourselves civilised jumping at every oppurtunity you get to eat anything that moves. this is more like what a barbarian or a crazy old hermit would do.
infact we have already managed to integregate a few of the xvart species into our society and this proved quite succesful. Infact one of the integregated xvarts managed to become an intelligent and civilised organiser in one of our higher up buildings in the society.
But yet you still dismisss this creature before we even get to look at the benefits it could do for our society.
In fact the blue skin of the xvart could prove to b useful in nighttime military operations for example the blueness of their skin disguises them in the dark. also they are small and nimble allowing them to sneak around with ease.
and were you not aware of the certain poisonous properties of blue meat

we should intergrate the xvart into our society not just because of the benefits to society but also because someone mite make a rpg where you can run around and b an xvart

thankyou (steps down from box)

[Legolas]

Regarding accusitions that the senate would number cases and thereby influence senate opinion.
1. The chair fails to see how a number might affect any member who does not carry a list much as the one found yestereve.

An excerpt:

Xvart topic if number = 2,6 or 8: Eat Xvarts if number = 14: Hunt and eat Xvarts if number = odd: Go with flow if number =...

2. The XI stands not for any number, but is instead an abbreviation of the subject matter, this being Xvart Integration.

3. The Senate scribe does indeed number any and all cases for future reference. Old transcripts may be found in the Duchal vaults.


Regarding the beggars:
Even though parts of the populace disagree, begging is an honourable profession favoured by free spirits. There is no mistaking the hard work that beggars put forth in completing the city landscape, often at very low cost to the community. Indeed they risk their personal safety and wellfare daily in going out on the streets in all weathers, tugging sleeves of even those armed to the teeth. Their income is entirely random, varying daily but rarely more than a few gold pieces. In addition to their work in the city landscaping department, they are valuable sources of information for between them they see all that happens on the streets. As such, they are essential to the continued success of the Flaming Fist and other crimefighters.
See also case #00149926 in the Duchal vaults.

[Dragonshadow]

*shakes head* Oh dear, when Mr. Baggins first put forward his case, I doubt he had any idea what he would spark!

My Thoughts On Xvarts
Annoying though they are, it wouldn't be right to use them as food. They speak our language, and although they eat cows, don't we? (Well, not personally, but as a race, I mean.) Xvarts have a smuch right to be here as we do.

That said, who wants to get a flamthrower and fry a few?

DS