Ethics?

If I had known my brother's other half was seeing an American ***hole, I would have gone to him and we would have arranged a little something for him
.
If it's ma friend, I would confront the cheater (on his/her own) in a non-nasty way. I would hint I was thinking of telling friend but that would probably be a bluff

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

[adam warlock]

Originally posted by DJG: Yeah, well, I have had a great mix up problem....... Rebecca (Lovely Girl) was going out with my best friend then she started hugging me behind Dav's back then she dumped Dave and went out with Shane and hugged me behind Shane's back then dumped Shane tried to go out with Luke he said no and now she carries on hugging me even though she wont go out with me although the fact that she is hugging me means really she is going out with me but she says technically she is not!!!! Get it???

friendship time

depending the type of hug she's giving you...

[Yorick]

Originally posted by WOLFGIR: Well Yorick, to treat one as you want to be treated isn´t always the turn to take. Some people don´t want to be treated like yourself and thus you have to weigh in the others perspectivies and also how they usually are.

True Wolgir, unless you define "doing unto others" in a broader sense, as in I'd want someone to respect my right to ignorance if I desired it, and my wishes to know painful truth if I desired it.

You'd need to know your friend well enough to know whether they'd want to know or not wouldn't you.

Lord Shield, though "cutting someones grass" as we sometimes call it in Oz is a very rotten thing to do, it takes two to tango. Violence is not a solution for something like that.


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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[Moiraine]

Originally posted by Yorick: Yes but you're French Moiraine! I was hit on a while ago by a friends wife. Totally took me by surprise and shocked me. I played dumb and pretended I didn't understand the line she was taking. I avoided telling my friend in case it was a momentary lapse of reason on her part. It's so long ago now it would be futile to bring it up as they are still together and seem happy. IMO It would only shame him. Besides, nothing happened, I didn't recipricate and she didn't hit on me again. (Mind you, I have made sure we haven't been alone together since. I'd only see her very very rarely anyway, like once every year or two anyhow.)

Yorick, what a bizarre society French people would make if we were all throwing blunt things at each other's heads !

Seriously, I strongly think you should have a talk with your female friend to clarify the situation. Maybe she did hit on you at some point in her life when she was feeling bad for reasons you don't know, and she dearly regrets it today. Everybody is entitled to make mistakes, even emotional mistakes, now and again. And no relationship, however strong, goes forever without doubts creeping in sometimes. I haven't lived with the same guy for 15 years without knowing that. And by avoiding her, you don't allow for this momentary mistake to heal, and you cut yourself from two friends. Believe me, talk to her.



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The world is my oyster !
And now I have the knives to open it ...

[Yorick]

Originally posted by Moiraine: Yorick, what a bizarre society French people would make if we were all throwing blunt things at each other's heads ! Seriously, I strongly think you should have a talk with your female friend to clarify the situation. Maybe she did hit on you at some point in her life when she was feeling bad for reasons you don't know, and she dearly regrets it today. Everybody is entitled to make mistakes, even emotional mistakes, now and again. And no relationship, however strong, goes forever without doubts creeping in sometimes. I haven't lived with the same guy for 15 years without knowing that. And by avoiding her, you don't allow for this momentary mistake to heal, and you cut yourself from two friends. Believe me, talk to her.

Maybe. She and I never had that sort of communication as I was friends with the husband not her. I'm not bothered by it, and it hasn't made things awkward between us as I played dumb. I think she'd be more relieved if she thought I didn't "get it".

In any case the opportunity hasn't arisen as I rarely see her, if it did come up - well mayhap, but otherwise......



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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[Moiraine]

Yorick, you can't at the same time say that it hadn't made things awkward, and that you make sure you don't see her alone, and no more than once or twice a year ! Besides, it bothers you all right if it has made you post here. So maybe you feel uncomfortable, both with her and with her husband, your friend, for nothing, if she is no more in that state, if it had been only a fling due to a brief unbalanced emotional state. And last, isn't it you that stated with much energy that truth was better than ignorance ? I say, if you want to feel comfortable with her AND with him again, make things clear with her.

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The world is my oyster !
And now I have the knives to open it ...

[Fljotsdale]

Originally posted by Yorick: Maybe. She and I never had that sort of communication as I was friends with the husband not her. I'm not bothered by it, and it hasn't made things awkward between us as I played dumb. I think she'd be more relieved if she thought I didn't "get it". In any case the opportunity hasn't arisen as I rarely see her, if it did come up - well mayhap, but otherwise......

Yes. In this instance it certainly looks to me as though 'discretion is the better part of valour'. Sensible man, Yorick. If I was her I would be PRAYING you forgot it (and I'm an atheist!)
Don't avoid her, though. Moiraine is right about that, I think. Just behave with her as you used to, and eventually you will both forget it.


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[WOLFGIR]

Originally posted by Yorick: True Wolgir, unless you define "doing unto others" in a broader sense, as in I'd want someone to respect my right to ignorance if I desired it, and my wishes to know painful truth if I desired it. You'd need to know your friend well enough to know whether they'd want to know or not wouldn't you.

Well I have to define that to what I think I know, since thats all I know, what I think I know. Unless your friend tells you how he wants to be "notified" of events like this, you have to base your actions on who you are and who you think he/she is and deal with it from there on. If you know your friend wants to be treated in any way, you either respect that or not. It´s tricky but it´s there in everday life.



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Yawning lazywolf..