DWARVEN THROWERS, The Lost Art

Ok RudeDawg just gat an axe upside the head from Kors

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Did anybody start catapulting draconians? Some of these buggers exploded on death or turned into pools of acid,so -
.
tie them up
pull their wings off
catapult at enemy
.
just like mortars really!

[Therro]

How bout a combo of what we've said here already?

Giant Catapult with:

(1) Dwarven Battle Rager (unwashed, smells like elderberries)
(1) Gnomish Alchemist
(1) Innocent Halfling Bystander (with Delayed Blast Fireball)
(1) Innocent Gnomish Bystander (Turnip Reflex factor!)
(1) Dwarf (Beard Ignited + Gas!)

Now this arrangement is a killer!

[onthepequod]

Looks like I missed out on some fun last night (went to bed at 10:00).

I believe that I was asked about what to feed Dwarves in order to make them explosive. Forgive me for going back but I didn’t have time to properly answer the question last night.

Well as I noted earlier this is a subject that runs deep with many conflicting but well supported theories. So, due to time constraints I will focus on the fringes of the art of “Cooking to Enhance the Gastrointestinal volatility of Dwarves.” That is I would like to explore the theoretical art of equipping a party to unleash the Dwarvian Mushroomius Cloudicus.

In an oversimplification the steps are as follow:
1) The party’s cook must prepare twice fried Gibberling, fried up in healthy doses of possum grease, with about two boots full of properly aged compost (this provides a health quantity of specialized bacteria).
2) While the meal is being prepared the party must get the Dwarf completely sauced (drunk out of his little mind) because there is no way a sober Dwarf will eat this meal of his own accord. Unless of course the Dwarf is a Texan, then he/she will eat anything fried. It’s important to note, the alcohol, once atomized through the sphincter of a dwarf, adds an extra kick
3) It will take the whole party to feed the dwarf, even if he or she is completely obliterated by alcohol, so be prepared. The rewards will be worth the effort.
4) Once fed continue to give the dwarf large amounts of sugar and alcohol until he/she passes out. The sugar will excite the bacteria and passing out will make the hourly shaking process go more smoothly.
5) Once the Dwarf is incapacitated, religiously shake vigorously every hour on the hour until said dwarf awakens.
6) The device should now be armed and ready.
7) CAUTION: Make sure the Dwarf travels downwind from the rest of the party.


Sorry, Blademaster but I was compelled to answer. If it’s any consolation, any Dwarven hero as well renowned as Kors would unquestionably be excluded from the “device” inventory. In fact I have heard rumors that he is the hero of Trademeet. In fact they have apparently erected a statue in his honor near the fountain (if you don’t believe me go see for yourself).

[RudeDawg]

Originally posted by BladeMaster: Ok RudeDawg just gat an axe upside the head from Kors

RudeDawg wakes up, shakes his head and starts scribbling in his notebook..
"Get Kors drunk first..."

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

[This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-09-2001).]

THIS IS UNETHICAL

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The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

[AzureWolf]

unethical or not those assorted flying stumpy people can do a lot of collateral damage. and here is a funny exerpt from a dragonlance book.

The first dragon army engineers secret weapon:

At that moment, their commanding minotaur Tchk'pal woke up. He stared around , saw himself in the bowl of the catapult. The sight had a sobering effect.
"Sargas take you dracos!" he bellowed, struggling to free himself, "Get me out of this! I'll flail you alive for-"
"FIRE!" Kang shouted.
Slith sliced the retaining rope. The main arm of the catapult straigtened, sent the minatour soaring into the air.
"Charge," said Kang, watching the minatour fly gracefully over the treetops.
"Abyss take me!" Slith cried, racing up on the ramparts to watch. "Will you look at that sir!"
The copper dragon had unleashed a stream of acid at a ballista site on the rampart. The weapon exploded, its crew scrambling to get out of the way of the attack. The copper dragon was preparing to pick them off one by one, when the minotaur hurtling through the air, struck the dragon squarely in the chest.
"Dark Queens grace," Kang said, awed "Sank his horns right into it!" He turned to his sub commander. "Nice shot Slith!"
"Thank you sir," Slith replied.
The dragon and its elven rider and the minotaur fell like so many sacks of potatoes. They hit the ground hard, sending up a great cloud of dust.
"A glorious death," said Kang solemnly.
"And honorable," Slith added. He raised his voice. "The commanders dead! A moments silence for the dead commander."
After a few seconds, Kang said, "I dont think they heard you."
Slith shrugged.

i thought it fit in this thread quite nicely

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

Originally posted by Rikard: THIS IS UNETHICAL

only if we did it for real

[RudeDawg]

Originally posted by AzureWolf: unethical or not those assorted flying stumpy people can do a lot of collateral damage. and here is a funny exerpt from a dragonlance book. The first dragon army engineers secret weapon: *snip* i thought it fit in this thread quite nicely

LOL, AzureWolf...

Is that yours, or really from a DL book? (I'm behind in my "official" game books...)

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

[AzureWolf]

nope it is DL 100% written by Don Perrin and Margaret Weis. I had to dig down in my collection to find it. it's in The Dragons at War

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."