Dwarven Throwers, the Lost Art, thread #2

[Neb]

Here's the link to the previous thread, started by the (in)famous Rudedawg himself:

http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/cg...2&t=006176&p=1

Here we can continue the discussion which mainly involves throwing small demi-humans at foes to injure them [img]tongue.gif[/img]

The other thread has gotten FAR too big [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Grand-Ranger]

LOL.

Where to start? I liked the Halfling idea the best.

[Sir ReGiN]

I have an idea..
If you take an old mining dwarf, preferably Duergar, feed him lots and lots of beans, and then put clay all over his body, then you concince him that it's good for his skin if he curls up into a ball with a piece of string in his mouth..
Then you wait awhile and soon the clay will have hardened..
Then you pick up the ball, light the fuse, and roll the ball towards the enemy..
Now what's supposed to happen is that the gas from all of the beans will have reached a very high level, and when the fuse burns all the way down into the mouth, it will explode, and as a bonnus, a very angry dwarf will come out and attack..with good skin as well..and of course you're gonna have to measure the distance to the enemy before you pick the fuse, to make sure it explodes at the right moment..
This method is at it's best if used on an enemy that is standing still, or in a camp/castle/battlewall etc.
But the skilled user can also use it in normal toe-to-toe battle...
For optimal effect, use mutiple dwarfs..

[Morgeruat]

oh dear lord, why did you open this one again, lmao, of course it was one of my primary influences to join, I lurked throughout most of the verbal battles. lmao

[Sir ReGiN]

Once upon a time there was a poor farmer that lived in the southern parts of Sweden..
He had three sons, Niklas, Johan, and BUMP..
Niklas was the wisest of the two, he could out-smart any animal, and so the family never had to starve..
Johan had the charm and everybody liked him, he was the centre of attention of all the women in the village, and he could get anything he asked for, so the family never had to have any financial problems..
BUMP on the other hand, was dumb, clumsy and pretty stupid, nobody liked him, and he only made problems for the poor family..
So they decided that poor BUMP was to be sent to the king of Sweden, to learn how to behave like a gentleman...
So he did..
A few months later he arrived at the castle in Stockholm, and presented himself for the king..
The king said:
*You seem to be a pure fool..you will not leave like that, though!*
And so BUMP was given a own room, and recieved training in the fine arts.
A few years later he came back to the farm, dressed in the finest clothes, riding the finest horse, and both his parents were very impressed..
His two brothers came up to him and asked how he could have changed so dramatically..
To this BUMP answered:
*Well, the king gave up on trying to raise me after a few days, so I barricaded myself in his kitchen, ate all he got, and then ran away..*, BUMP said slowly..
*But how did you get the horse and the clothes, and why haven't you returned sooner?*, his schocked parents asked him..
*Well, soon the food ran out, and I escaped, killed the king, stole the king's horse, his clothes and then I went to seek my luck in the big city..where I got recruited by the government, there I have spent the last year, unil I got fired, but I got fifty million in redundancy payment, so here I am..*, he said with a big smile.
*You have one well, my boy!*, his father said *And you are welcome back!*
A few years later, BUMP tore down the whole village, and made a parking-lot instead. He also evicted his parents, becuase he was gonna build his own private castle there. His parents and brothers starved to death later, and so BUMP lived happily ever after!

[ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Sir ReGiN ]

[AzureWolf]

BUMP damn you BUMP!