DWARVEN THROWERS, The Lost Art

Kors has no problem hunting those dirty evil buggers down

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[Hayashi]

OK - I'm launching this back up to page 1. It's too good to let die.

Ok here we go. Kors has rounded up 20 Dark Dwarves to be used as ammo for the catapult. So let he know were to put them will you get ready to launch them

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[AzureWolf]

Oh goodie goodie. *rubs his hands together gleefully*
now we have sopme entertainment for the evening

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

Best to get them to form an orderly queue, makes launching a more efficient process, and in the catapulting trade, we thrive on efficiency

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Holy Avenger of the OHF and part time Pinguindiebjäger

All right you scum buckets get in a straight line NOW!!!!! You have plagued us long enough you smelly Dark Dwarves

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Moving this to page 1

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[RudeDawg]

RudeDawg is still scribbling notes, and muttering to himself...

"Hey, Kors? What's the average weight of those Dark Dwarves? and do they burn long?"



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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil

They average about 250 (they are fat little buggers) due to all of the dirt and soot they can burn for areally long time.

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[onthepequod]

Supply? Did I hear somebody say we have a fresh supply of ammo?

I don't claim to be a Dark Dwarf pundit but I have had a different experience, with Dark Dwarves, than Kors has. My experience is that they just won't stay lit. Thats not to say they won't burn but just not like a.........err.......that is.......other species. Something about their diet causes their pores to secret a slightly sticky fluid that just does not burn well.

However, I did stumble across an attribute that may be exceedingly beneficial to this exercise. You see, a flour in water mixture applied to their skin causes them to have an adhesion factor that even NASA can't replicate. Please don't ask me how I discovered this, it's a time consuming story and frankly a little embarrassing.

Thus I present to you....Sticky Dwarf Flinging (Kors I'm only talking about Dark Dwarves):

To begin with, the Dark Dwarves must have their shirts removed, with the floor and water solution applied concentrically around their navel to a diameter of 6" (nobody said war was pretty boys and ladies). This is for the following reasons:

1) If the Dwarves are entirely covered they will not leave the catapult when fired with the end product being four exceedingly angry, incapacitated, Dark Dwarves stuck in the bucket of the catapult. Woe to the poor sot who has to pry them out (we can't waste ammo you know) .

2) This minimal covering with solution minimzed the chance that they'll adhere to one another mid-flight. However, if they do this make sure you fire a burning arrow at them because once stuck together they just hack each other to bits in mid-air. Its better to have semi-burning chunks falling on the enemy rather than just chunks.

3) This minimal covering with solution also maximizes the Dark Dwarfs effectiveness once adhered to the enemy. With only the area aroung the belly button stuck, the Dark Dwarf can get 75% of a full swing in (with both hands equiped), not to mention kicking. A particulally feisty one can get six attacks in, with its four appendages, in a round, making it a truly damaging weapon.


The real trick to the technique is making sure the little buggers strike the opponent stomach first. The only way I know of doing this is to install a board at the bottom of the catapult. When fired these Dwarves will catch their toes on the board and thus be sent on their little ways tumbling anterior over posterior (similar to a throwing axe) toward the target. This, however, is a technique that is still very much in the works. So if anyone observes needed improvements or a better way to get them to hit stomach first please share.

[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-15-2001).]

[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-15-2001).]

[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-15-2001).]

[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-15-2001).]