07-06-2002, 10:08 AM | #1 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: October 18, 2003
Location: Oslo, Norway.
Age: 61
Posts: 3,360
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other people have it backwards
I eat at cafeterias like old people. my friends eat fast food. I drive a big, old, safe, American car with no car payments. my friends drive racy, new European cars with major car payments. I don't drink or smoke, but all my friends do. I never use credit cards while all my friends have huge debts. I live my life like an old person. my friends live their lives like young people. when they get old they'll live their lives like old people. not me. when I'm old I won't care what I eat. in fact, I won't even buy food unless it's full of fat and preservatives. I'm going to do drugs every night. I'm going to have a million credit cards and buy anything I want. I'm going to charge everything because I'm not going to be around to pay the bills. when creditors call me up I'll say, "just give me a little longer." …and why do old people drive so slow? it doesn't make sense. they don't have that long to live, they ought to be jammin'! when I'm 81 I'll make a U-turn anywhere. one way street, screw it! I'm going for it! when I'm 90 I won't even have brakes on my car! when I get old I'm going to give everyone fruitcakes and then stay and watch them eat it. I'm going to grab women's breasts and say, "thanks for helping me. darn near fell and broke my hip." when kids come to my door on Halloween I'm going to take their candy. when Jehovah's Witnesses ring my bell I'm going to answer the door…naked. I'm going to go to their houses and ring their bell. when they answer the door I'll be…naked. when I get old, on my walker, I'll have a holster with a big sawed off shotgun. in the grocery store, when other old people, start pulling out coupons, I'll say, "don't make me use this!" when I die, my friends will come to my funeral, in their old cars. in my eulogy, they'll talk about my backwards life, and smile. they'll pass by my casket, for one last good-bye, and I'll…still be naked! lol [ 07-06-2002, 10:12 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ] |
07-06-2002, 10:13 AM | #2 |
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hehe thats funny [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
[ 07-06-2002, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: Deathbringer ] |
07-06-2002, 10:20 AM | #3 |
Dracolisk
Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 39
Posts: 6,043
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So true, so true...
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07-06-2002, 10:45 PM | #4 |
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LIFE
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that? A bonus?!!!! I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first. Get it out of the way. Then you go and live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, and go collect your pension. Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol. You party. And you get ready for high school. You become a kid. You go to primary school. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby. You go back. You spend your last nine months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap. Then you finish off as an orgasm! Now we're talking!!!!!! |
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