A look inside my computer

[Jorath Calar]

(I didn't write this but it is funny as hell )

CPU: System check!

Motherboard: Everything’s looking good, sir. Word processor reports that typing speed is well above fifty words-per-minute.

CPU: Glad to hear it. Have we gotten a report back from the desktop, yet?

Motherboard: Desktop reports icon capacity at 90%, sir. They’re filled to the brim up there.

CPU: 90 already? Tell them to get that number down – start deleting when it’s covered by another window.

Motherboard: Last time we did that, sir, the user went crazy looking for his links! He had the system running checks all afternoon!

CPU: Hmm… very well. Tell them to keep icon deletion to a bare minimum. How’s the modem doing?

Motherboard: Good, sir. Modem reports that it is interfaced with Internet Explorer and Napster. Multitasking is in effect between ignBoards and MP3s – well within limits.

CPU: Good. Be sure to tell McAffe to keep an eye on those downloads – we don’t want another ‘Melissa’ around here.

Motherboard: Aye, sir.

{ALARM}

CPU: What in blazes is that?

Motherboard: {Speaking furiously over communicator} Sir, Microsoft Word reports a ‘Save’ command has been issued.

CPU: {Hits button on chair} C Drive, do you copy?

C Drive: {Garbled over speakers} Aye, sir, we’re here.

CPU: We’ve got an incoming ‘Save’. Think you’ve got enough room for an English paper?

C Drive: ‘Fraid not, sir. We’re at full capacity here, another file and she’ll blow!

CPU: How did this happen, C Drive?

C Drive: It’s the damned porn, sir, there’s too much of it!
CPU: What about the recycle bin? Can you empty it?

C Drive: I’ll try, sir, but… {static}

CPU: C Drive? C Drive!?

Motherboard: We’ve got worse problems than that, sir. Mouse has confirmed a double-click on Photoshop!

CPU: Photoshop? What are our system resources?

Motherboard: We’ve got 75% left, sir.

CPU: Load RAM launcher – sixteen megabytes… Fire!

Motherboard: {Watching screen} No effect, sir, it’s still coming!

CPU: Alright, try another thirty-two meg!

Motherboard: {Presses button} Looks like that got it, sir. Program has loaded normally.

CPU: Good…

{ALARM}

CPU: What now?

Motherboard: Modem confirms positive connection to a porn site, sir.

CPU: He wouldn’t…

Motherboard: Afraid so, sir. Mpeg download confirmed.

CPU: {Talks into communicator} C Drive, have you emptied the recycling bin?

C Drive: Aye, sir, but the only things there were a letter to Grandma from five years ago and a Britney Spears song the sister downloaded when the user wasn’t around. We were able to squeeze the document into memory, though, sir.

CPU: We’ve got worse problems than that, soldier. Incoming mpeg!

C Drive: Another one!? How large?

CPU: Motherboard?

Motherboard: Modem reports the file size at ten megabytes.

CPU: {Speaking to C Drive} Ten megs.

C Drive: We’ve got some time, then. That’ll take at least an hour to download. I’ll start a defrag.

CPU: Negative. Modem recently upgraded to cable. Download will be completed in less than a minute.

C Drive: A minute? We can’t defrag in that time!

CPU: Do we have any other options?

C Drive: None, sir. We’re completely out of space.

CPU: Motherboard, throw the blue screen of death at him – that’ll slow him down, at least.

Motherboard: Aye, sir. {Watches screen} Sir, we’re registering a Control-Alt-Delete. Blue screen of death is falling. Download has resumed.

CPU: Damn! How much longer do we have?

Motherboard: Ten seconds, sir… five… four… three… two… one…

{ROOM SHAKES}

C Drive: It’s too much, sir! We can’t handle it! She’s gonna crash!

CPU: Motherboard, activate system shutdown! Quickly, before we lose the hard drive!

C Drive: It’s too late, we can’t…

{EXPLOSION, FLASH OF LIGHT}

*A fatal exception 06 has occurred at 0028:00000017. The current application will be terminated.*





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"When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side."
- Bill Hicks

[Neb]

Heh, that's a funny one, ROLF, LOL, ROFLMAO.

[Mirac Honorguard]

This is really good LOL LOL

[Beaumanoir]

Originally posted by Jorath Calar: (I didn't write this but it is funny as hell ) CPU: System check! Motherboard: Everything’s looking good, sir. Word processor reports that typing speed is well above fifty words-per-minute. CPU: Glad to hear it. Have we gotten a report back from the desktop, yet? Motherboard: Desktop reports icon capacity at 90%, sir. They’re filled to the brim up there. CPU: 90 already? Tell them to get that number down – start deleting when it’s covered by another window. Motherboard: Last time we did that, sir, the user went crazy looking for his links! He had the system running checks all afternoon! CPU: Hmm… very well. Tell them to keep icon deletion to a bare minimum. How’s the modem doing? Motherboard: Good, sir. Modem reports that it is interfaced with Internet Explorer and Napster. Multitasking is in effect between ignBoards and MP3s – well within limits. CPU: Good. Be sure to tell McAffe to keep an eye on those downloads – we don’t want another ‘Melissa’ around here. Motherboard: Aye, sir. {ALARM} CPU: What in blazes is that? Motherboard: {Speaking furiously over communicator} Sir, Microsoft Word reports a ‘Save’ command has been issued. CPU: {Hits button on chair} C Drive, do you copy? C Drive: {Garbled over speakers} Aye, sir, we’re here. CPU: We’ve got an incoming ‘Save’. Think you’ve got enough room for an English paper? C Drive: ‘Fraid not, sir. We’re at full capacity here, another file and she’ll blow! CPU: How did this happen, C Drive? C Drive: It’s the damned porn, sir, there’s too much of it! CPU: What about the recycle bin? Can you empty it? C Drive: I’ll try, sir, but… {static} CPU: C Drive? C Drive!? Motherboard: We’ve got worse problems than that, sir. Mouse has confirmed a double-click on Photoshop! CPU: Photoshop? What are our system resources? Motherboard: We’ve got 75% left, sir. CPU: Load RAM launcher – sixteen megabytes… Fire! Motherboard: {Watching screen} No effect, sir, it’s still coming! CPU: Alright, try another thirty-two meg! Motherboard: {Presses button} Looks like that got it, sir. Program has loaded normally. CPU: Good… {ALARM} CPU: What now? Motherboard: Modem confirms positive connection to a porn site, sir. CPU: He wouldn’t… Motherboard: Afraid so, sir. Mpeg download confirmed. CPU: {Talks into communicator} C Drive, have you emptied the recycling bin? C Drive: Aye, sir, but the only things there were a letter to Grandma from five years ago and a Britney Spears song the sister downloaded when the user wasn’t around. We were able to squeeze the document into memory, though, sir. CPU: We’ve got worse problems than that, soldier. Incoming mpeg! C Drive: Another one!? How large? CPU: Motherboard? Motherboard: Modem reports the file size at ten megabytes. CPU: {Speaking to C Drive} Ten megs. C Drive: We’ve got some time, then. That’ll take at least an hour to download. I’ll start a defrag. CPU: Negative. Modem recently upgraded to cable. Download will be completed in less than a minute. C Drive: A minute? We can’t defrag in that time! CPU: Do we have any other options? C Drive: None, sir. We’re completely out of space. CPU: Motherboard, throw the blue screen of death at him – that’ll slow him down, at least. Motherboard: Aye, sir. {Watches screen} Sir, we’re registering a Control-Alt-Delete. Blue screen of death is falling. Download has resumed. CPU: Damn! How much longer do we have? Motherboard: Ten seconds, sir… five… four… three… two… one… {ROOM SHAKES} C Drive: It’s too much, sir! We can’t handle it! She’s gonna crash! CPU: Motherboard, activate system shutdown! Quickly, before we lose the hard drive! C Drive: It’s too late, we can’t… {EXPLOSION, FLASH OF LIGHT} *A fatal exception 06 has occurred at 0028:00000017. The current application will be terminated.*

ROFLMFAO!!!! Very Funny Jorath



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The Clan HADB Cleric Of Sephiroth + Nutella


BINKY The Founding Member, Cheif Architect AND Official Chanter Of O.R.T

The Order Of Royal Toads

Very good Jorath Calar!!!!
Now we know which part of your computer we hurt by a virus!!(just kidding)

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Where there are monsters and barbarians there will be Byronas fighting against them.

[Ryanamur]

So, you work for MS right

That is why I have 3 30GB HD's and 128 MB of RAM!!



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"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
-Robert McCloskey

• Token lackwit of HADB
  
• Sycophant to the Wolf of Azure Hue
  
• Long lost brother of DragonMage
  
• Bearer of a work of art created by Sazerac[/list]

[domingo]

lol ... that is too good ... ROFL

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You can only call someone something so many times before they become that which you did not wish them to be!
Bad things happen to bad people!
Founding Father of TLFB