OK this is proper humour :D

[Charlie]

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other...Does this meat taste funny to you?

[Vaskez]

Please no! Don't start on the bad humour again! I have worked hard to turn this thread into a good humour zone!

Work with me here, hehe

[Vaskez]

2 cops are walking along the street and one of them sees a note on the ground:
- Hey look! A fiver!
- Cool, pick it up
The first cop picks it up and after examining it, throws it away again.
- Why did you do that?
- Ahh, it was obviously fake.
- What do u mean?
- I mean, have you ever seen a fiver with a zero after the five? Pah.

[Vaskez]

2 cops are talking....
- Where were you born?
- In the hospital
- Why? Were you ill?

[Vaskez]

Cop's being examined on general knowledge.
- What's the capital of Hungary?
- Pass
- How many pence are there in a pound?
- Pass
They really don't want the poor sod to fail so they ask him:
- In football, what is it called when one player kicks the ball to another?
- I have absolutely no idea

[Drake]

A kindergartener was sitting at his desk making funny faces at
anyone that would watch.
The teacher came by and saw what he was doing and said calmly,
"Billy you had better stop doing that, your face might stickthat way."
Billy stared back just as calmly and said in reply, "I guess you
learned the hard way."
.....................
Mirrors can't lie about how you look, and lucky for you they can not laugh
either.
......................
don't read if you don't have a sick\MA humor:
The Top 10 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be A Dick


10. You've got a hole in your head.
9. Your master strangles you all the time.
8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.
7. You shrink in cold water.
6. You never get a haircut.
5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.
4. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.
3. Your best friend is a ■■■■■.
2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.

And the number one reason why it sucks to be a dick:

1. Everytime you get excited, you throw up.


------------------

Drake A.K.A. bocaj

[Vaskez]

A peasant wants to cross the river and asks a cop where the shallowest part is. The cop shows him. The peasant starts going but sinks immediately. He swims out and questions the cop as to why he misled him. The cop ponders for a while and then says:
- I don't understand it. For the ducks, the water was only waist-deep?!

_________________________________________

Why did the cop dig three graves when his dog died?
Because the first two turned out too small.

[Drake]

I'm on a roll
Schwartznegger has a big one,Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,Liberace NEVER used his on women,
Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,We never saw Lucy use Desi'sWhat is it?
.
.
.
.
.
A last name....... Were you thinking of something else?

------------------

Drake A.K.A. bocaj

[Drake]

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the
sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the
teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself."
.
.
.
.
.
....RATED R
A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about
tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an
immediate family member's death.

One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual
exhaustion?" and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the
student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand
to write."


------------------

Drake A.K.A. bocaj

[Vaskez]

The cop's learning maths and one day he comes home with a glowing face and turns to his wife:
- Woman, mathematics is amazing! What do you say to this: 5-7+2 =0!
- ??!
- I'll say it again. 5-7+2=0. Isn't that simply amazing?
- I don't get it, says the wife, - but give me an example
- Listen woman. A bus is going towards its final stop carrying 5 passengers. At the final stop, 7 people get off. Well of course 2 people have to get on before that damn bus is empty!!