OK this is proper humour :D

Vaskez · 05-01-2001, 08:35 PM

Hehe, I read this somewhere that these things were actually said in courts of law during proper trials in Massachusetts, USA (dunno how true this is

):

Lawyer: could u describe briefly what happened?
Witness: well the first car reversed out of the driveway and straight into the side of the other car which was moving slowly down the road.
Lawyer: and how far apart were the cars at the time of the collision?
________

Lawyer: so the date of conception of your baby was august the 12th?
defendant: yes
Lawyer: and what were you doing at this time?
________

Lawyer: so he had 3 children you say?
witness: yes
Lawyer: How many were boys?
witness: none
Lawyer: were there any girls?
________

Lawyer: was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
________

Lawyer: you were there until the time you left, is this true?
________

Lawyer: were you present when your picture was taken?
________

Hmm, wonder what our american brethren have to say?

05-01-2001, 08:38 PM

Is This Humor

I don't see it

------------------

The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

Lord of Alcohol · 05-01-2001, 08:38 PM

Well speaking as an American we have one hell of a lot of idiots!

05-01-2001, 08:40 PM

Just look at your president
(excuses for anyone who didn't want to vote for Gore)

------------------

The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

Vaskez · 05-01-2001, 08:41 PM

location: Russian submarine

Misa to Captain: Captain Sir! An enemy vessel is approcahing!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get a bottle of vodka and my red shirt.
Misa doesn't understand why, but does as ordered and the russians win. Next day:
Misa: Captain Sir, 3 enemy vessels approaching!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get 3 bottles of vodka and my red shirt.
Again Misa doesn't understand but does as ordered.
The russians win again. Misa can't take it any longer and asks what the vodak and red shirt are for.
Captain: The vodka gives me courage and the red shirt is needed so that the men can't see when I get injured.
Next day.
Misa: Captain Sir! 7 enemy vessels approaching!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just bring me 7 bottles of vodka and my brown trousers.

Vaskez · 05-01-2001, 08:54 PM

Well speaking of dumb american politicians, in Hungary (where I was born), half the jokes u find are about cops cos the cops there are so dumb in general. Quite a few good ones but bear in mind I am translating these so the wording may not be perfect.....

Fljotsdale · 05-01-2001, 08:54 PM

Hysterical giggles!

------------------
Smile! Life is too short for bitching!

Fljotsdale

Vaskez · 05-01-2001, 08:55 PM

Cop's walking on the beach with his son..
- Hey dad look, a dead seagull!
Cop looks up at the sky.
- Where?

Vaskez · 05-01-2001, 08:58 PM

Two cops are walking along the pavement and they see a policeman's truncheon lying on the ground:

- Hey! Isn't that Tom's?
- It couldn't be you idiot! He's lost his!

_______________________________________________

What do 2 cops argue over when getting into the car?
Which one gets to sit next to the window

Vaskez · 05-01-2001, 09:03 PM

Cop buys a railway ticket.
- Return please.
- Where to?
- Well what do you think? Back here of course!

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05-01-2001, 08:35 PM	#1
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	Hehe, I read this somewhere that these things were actually said in courts of law during proper trials in Massachusetts, USA (dunno how true this is ): Lawyer: could u describe briefly what happened? Witness: well the first car reversed out of the driveway and straight into the side of the other car which was moving slowly down the road. Lawyer: and how far apart were the cars at the time of the collision? ________ Lawyer: so the date of conception of your baby was august the 12th? defendant: yes Lawyer: and what were you doing at this time? ________ Lawyer: so he had 3 children you say? witness: yes Lawyer: How many were boys? witness: none Lawyer: were there any girls? ________ Lawyer: was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? ________ Lawyer: you were there until the time you left, is this true? ________ Lawyer: were you present when your picture was taken? ________ Hmm, wonder what our american brethren have to say?

05-01-2001, 08:38 PM	#2
Rikard Guest Posts: n/a	Is This Humor I don't see it ------------------ The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

05-01-2001, 08:38 PM	#3
Lord of Alcohol Xanathar Thieves Guild Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Charlotte,NC Age: 61 Posts: 4,570	Well speaking as an American we have one hell of a lot of idiots!

05-01-2001, 08:40 PM	#4
Rikard Guest Posts: n/a	Just look at your president (excuses for anyone who didn't want to vote for Gore) ------------------ The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

05-01-2001, 08:41 PM	#5
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	location: Russian submarine Misa to Captain: Captain Sir! An enemy vessel is approcahing! Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get a bottle of vodka and my red shirt. Misa doesn't understand why, but does as ordered and the russians win. Next day: Misa: Captain Sir, 3 enemy vessels approaching! Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get 3 bottles of vodka and my red shirt. Again Misa doesn't understand but does as ordered. The russians win again. Misa can't take it any longer and asks what the vodak and red shirt are for. Captain: The vodka gives me courage and the red shirt is needed so that the men can't see when I get injured. Next day. Misa: Captain Sir! 7 enemy vessels approaching! Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just bring me 7 bottles of vodka and my brown trousers.

05-01-2001, 08:54 PM	#6
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	Well speaking of dumb american politicians, in Hungary (where I was born), half the jokes u find are about cops cos the cops there are so dumb in general. Quite a few good ones but bear in mind I am translating these so the wording may not be perfect.....

05-01-2001, 08:54 PM	#7
Fljotsdale Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England Age: 88 Posts: 2,859	Hysterical giggles! ------------------ Smile! Life is too short for bitching! Fljotsdale

05-01-2001, 08:55 PM	#8
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	Cop's walking on the beach with his son.. - Hey dad look, a dead seagull! Cop looks up at the sky. - Where?

05-01-2001, 08:58 PM	#9
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	Two cops are walking along the pavement and they see a policeman's truncheon lying on the ground: - Hey! Isn't that Tom's? - It couldn't be you idiot! He's lost his! _______________________________________________ What do 2 cops argue over when getting into the car? Which one gets to sit next to the window

05-01-2001, 09:03 PM	#10
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	Cop buys a railway ticket. - Return please. - Where to? - Well what do you think? Back here of course!

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