A news Item (joke)

Arvon · 01-21-2004, 12:31 PM

At New York's Kennedy airport the other day, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference. Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes
the man is a member of the noto-rious al-gebra movement. He is being charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"AI-gebra is a fearsome cult." Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as
"unknowns." but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles use to say, there are three sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is internt on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we
must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line "
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex" Attorney General Ashcroft added "As our Great Leader would say. read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered, as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

Bozos of Bones · 01-21-2004, 12:59 PM

Look, Arvon, you no longer need to indicate in the thread name that a post is a joke, we see that just by looking at the thread author.

And a good joke it is.

dplax · 01-21-2004, 01:33 PM

Lol good one Arvon.

01-21-2004, 02:18 PM

Seen this one before, but still funny as hell.

VulcanRider · 01-21-2004, 02:27 PM

The Al-gebra cult can only be beaten in small groups. We have to divide & conquer...

Callum Kerr · 01-22-2004, 01:42 AM

Very nice [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Harkoliar · 01-22-2004, 02:23 AM

first time .. and its a good one arvon

Kakero · 01-22-2004, 09:10 AM

Nice! I've seen somewhat shorter version of this before.

Raistlin Majere · 01-24-2004, 03:28 PM

[img]graemlins/1drool.gif[/img] *grovel grovel* [img]graemlins/1drool.gif[/img]

[ 01-24-2004, 03:29 PM: Message edited by: Raistlin Majere ]

Sagramore · 01-24-2004, 10:47 PM

LoL! thats great! i love it when people make fun of school subjects

01-21-2004, 12:31 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	At New York's Kennedy airport the other day, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference. Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the noto-rious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "AI-gebra is a fearsome cult." Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns." but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles use to say, there are three sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is internt on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line " President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex" Attorney General Ashcroft added "As our Great Leader would say. read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered, as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks." __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

01-21-2004, 12:59 PM	#2
Bozos of Bones Apophis Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb Age: 38 Posts: 4,679	Look, Arvon, you no longer need to indicate in the thread name that a post is a joke, we see that just by looking at the thread author. And a good joke it is. __________________ MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM!

01-21-2004, 01:33 PM	#3
dplax Jack Burton Join Date: July 19, 2003 Location: an expat living in France Age: 39 Posts: 5,577	Lol good one Arvon. __________________

01-21-2004, 02:27 PM	#5
VulcanRider Lord Soth Join Date: July 25, 2002 Location: Melbourne FL Age: 61 Posts: 1,971	The Al-gebra cult can only be beaten in small groups. We have to divide & conquer... __________________ ----- Help feed animals in shelters with just a mouse click at The Animal Rescue Site !!

01-22-2004, 01:42 AM	#6
Callum Kerr Drizzt Do'Urden Join Date: October 11, 2002 Location: Malaysia Age: 36 Posts: 638	Very nice [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ [img]\"http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RwARAyMWqyivmPQQNWY0hVVRv3oUvlvq5uMcEd3!RZut55dm8 emNqpdvpE7IkB0Cpa1ykaC4MbaPQTDKfXyfz!1y5xDqyJez01d EkyCZjmc/Callum.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Puff the magic dragon!

01-21-2004, 02:18 PM	#4
SecretMaster Guest Posts: n/a	Seen this one before, but still funny as hell.

01-22-2004, 02:23 AM	#7
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 42 Posts: 5,556	first time .. and its a good one arvon __________________ Catch me if you can..

01-22-2004, 09:10 AM	#8
Kakero 40th Level Warrior Join Date: March 24, 2002 Posts: 10,215	Nice! I've seen somewhat shorter version of this before.

01-24-2004, 03:28 PM	#9
Raistlin Majere Ra Join Date: March 26, 2002 Location: Finland Age: 37 Posts: 2,323	[img]graemlins/1drool.gif[/img] grovel grovel [img]graemlins/1drool.gif[/img] [ 01-24-2004, 03:29 PM: Message edited by: Raistlin Majere ] __________________ If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

01-24-2004, 10:47 PM	#10
Sagramore Avatar Join Date: December 26, 2002 Location: Connecticut Age: 36 Posts: 528	LoL! thats great! i love it when people make fun of school subjects __________________ \"\'Fleshy, honey\' the paladin said, \'Yes, baby\' said the golem\"<br /><br />I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting<br /><br /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[pimpser]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/pimpser.gif\" />

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