Chuck Norris

wellard · 10-03-2007, 09:33 AM

100 things you NEED to know about Chuck Norris...

* Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

* Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

* Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

* Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

* On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

* Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

You know we should have a 'Chuck Norris' day

johnny · 10-03-2007, 09:41 AM

Cool, a Chuck Norris thread, here we go.....

johnny · 10-03-2007, 09:45 AM

Oh yeah...forgot this one...

JrKASperov · 10-03-2007, 10:00 AM

* Chuck Norris once lost one of his testicles in a fight with a ninja. You might know it under the more common name of "Jupiter".

johnny · 10-03-2007, 10:16 AM

Whoa, Chuck has really been around, hasn't he?

Ladyzekke · 10-03-2007, 11:27 AM

I don't get all this Chuck Norris stuff. He's so old news, does he even make movies anymore?

Dreamer128 · 10-03-2007, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ladyzekke

I don't get all this Chuck Norris stuff. He's so old news, does he even make movies anymore?

Be careful what you say. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer. And on Online Communities such as these, you never know if Chuck is watching. He could be any one of us!

Besides, Chuck is never 'old news'. Did you know that CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network"? It was meant to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

ps.

Check out http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Gnarf · 10-03-2007, 12:18 PM

Boy are we keeping up with the interwebs.

I just found this site with a most hilarious collection of parodies of some Budweiser commercial!

Jaradu · 10-03-2007, 12:37 PM

Sorry to piss on the bonfire.

johnny · 10-03-2007, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaradu

Sorry to piss on the bonfire.

That was just acting, Chuck beats the crap out of Bruce any day. Besides, who's dead, and who's still alive and kicking?

10-03-2007, 09:33 AM	#1
wellard Dracolisk Join Date: November 1, 2002 Location: Australia ..... G\'day! Posts: 6,123	Chuck Norris 100 things you NEED to know about Chuck Norris... * Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. * Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. * Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. * Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. * Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". * On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence. * Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. * When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. * Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. * Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. * Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder. * A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. You know we should have a 'Chuck Norris' day __________________ fossils - natures way of laughing at creationists for over 3 billion years

10-03-2007, 09:41 AM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	Re: Chuck Norris Cool, a Chuck Norris thread, here we go..... __________________

10-03-2007, 09:45 AM	#3
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	Re: Chuck Norris Oh yeah...forgot this one... __________________

10-03-2007, 10:16 AM	#5
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	Re: Chuck Norris Whoa, Chuck has really been around, hasn't he? __________________

10-03-2007, 11:27 AM	#6
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 58 Posts: 9,005	Re: Chuck Norris I don't get all this Chuck Norris stuff. He's so old news, does he even make movies anymore? __________________ Reality Show Recaps

10-03-2007, 10:00 AM	#4
JrKASperov Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 16, 2003 Location: Wa\'eni\'n Age: 39 Posts: 1,701	Re: Chuck Norris * Chuck Norris once lost one of his testicles in a fight with a ninja. You might know it under the more common name of "Jupiter". __________________ God is in the rain.

10-03-2007, 12:18 PM	#8
Gnarf Emerald Dragon Join Date: February 6, 2003 Location: Norway Age: 39 Posts: 928	Re: Chuck Norris Boy are we keeping up with the interwebs. I just found this site with a most hilarious collection of parodies of some Budweiser commercial! __________________ I want a hippo.

10-03-2007, 12:37 PM	#9
Jaradu Silver Dragon Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: Shrewsbury, England Age: 34 Posts: 1,635	Re: Chuck Norris Sorry to piss on the bonfire.

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