Elves Vs Dwarfs

shadowhound · 09-14-2002, 07:14 AM

A long running argument and also one which is running in my tiny forum, Who is better?

The great wise graceful wonderous elves
OR
Short stumpy smelly midgets?

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 09-14-2002, 07:33 AM

Elves are better of course! Stupid question that, EVERYONE knows there better, and those who prefer dwarves, probably do because they have paralells with themselves, ie; dwarves drink too much, they smell of ale and urine. They're foul mouthed, ugly, short, smelly, have matted beards, are short, smelly... and drink too much. [img]tongue.gif[/img] They live in holes deep underground, and can't appreciate grace or beauty [img]tongue.gif[/img] hehe. smelly stunties. did I mention they smell? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Elves on the other hand are graceful and deadly, and are far better then humans, dwarves, in fact any other race save dragons... I could write how great elves are, but'd make all of the humans (me included) on the fourmn jealous [img]tongue.gif[/img] .

shadowhound · 09-14-2002, 08:09 AM

Exactly, Elves are far better then dwarves.

Gazza · 09-14-2002, 09:13 AM

I have to disagree with you guys. I think dwarves are better. I don't really know why but i've always liked dwarves better than elves.

Zarr · 09-14-2002, 10:54 AM

There very different but I like both. You should have made an option to say you liked both. In the end I went for elves purely because I'm playing one in Baldur's Gate at the moment and it's fun.

Paladin2000 · 09-14-2002, 11:09 AM

Honestly, I don't know which one is better. But since I like elves more than dwarwes, I voted for the elves.

Rimjaw · 09-14-2002, 11:35 AM

LOL! This debate has been going one for eons. I remeber a similar debate on Gamespy. Fortunately I saved the conversation (I had to change the pics since the webhost is no longer hosting them but the essence is there).
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Fargo: It's all about the Dwarves.

shaithis: That's right, Dwarves. None of these pansy-assed elven nature-god whiny magical bitches. Real fighters eat gravel for breakfast and hate the sun, as I do.

Fargo: This is unprecedented in GameSpy Grudge history. The two of us agree. We're going to need to bring in a third voice to augment the discussion. Ladies and gentlemen we present Kindrak, resident GameSpy Artist. Kindrak, isn't it true that you're a fan of elves?

Kindrak: That is correct.

shaithis: And isn't it also true that you're a wussy veggie-eating granolla California green party raver whack job?

Kindrak: What's that got to do with elves?

shaithis: Everything, if I was running the country. How is some tree-huggin' Spockalike gonna withstand the crushing fury of my big axe, or a hammer the size of a flatbed towtruck?

Kindrak: Look, those dirty rockbangers cannot hope to understand the glorious beauty of all things Elven. They will be awestruck at the shimmering citadels that house our armies. They will not be able to comprehend the beautiful, shifting hues and shapes of our Magicks... mainly because those magicks will have burnt their eyeballs from their sockets. The dwarves, with their steam, and coal, and dirt, stand no chance! They're barbarians!

shaithis: I'll show you barbarian...

[shaithis picks up his keyboard, Fargo restrains him]

Fargo: I think what shaithis is getting at is that there are many presentations of elves, and often these presentations are what many in the artistic community would designate as "froo froo." For instance, there are three basic types of Elves: You have your serious immortal Tolkien-types with the pointy ears and the bows, you have your hot chick elves who don't wear any clothes, and you have your cookie-making Santa-sicophanting pointy-shoed jingle-belling wussy elves. Like so:

shaithis: Exactly. We're just saying, two out of three elves can't handle the fury of the mighty dwarf, particularly when he's loaded. Look at how Dwarves are always portrayed: Short, angry, helmeted, and swinging big heavy things at anyone who smacks of Martha Stewart.

Kindrak: I see. So then ... how do you explain THIS?

shaithis: GAH!

Fargo: Kindrak what the hell is that?

Kindrak: What do you mean, what is that? It's ... It's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves! You've never seen it?

shaithis: They're wearing diaphragms on their heads!

Fargo: Kindrak what kind of sick adult bookstore did you dredge this from?

Kindrak: You're kidding me. It's a Disney classic. See, Snow White is this beautiful girl who the wicked Queen sends into the forest to be killed but she escapes and these seven Dwarves hide her, until she eats a poison apple and a Prince rescues her. Then they live happily ever after.

shaithis: That's disgusting. BRING ME MY HAMMER!

Fargo: Kindrak, your Froo Froo fairy tales have absolutely no bearing on reality.

shaithis: I MUST SMITE ... SOMETHING!

[ 09-14-2002, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: Rimjaw ]

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 09-14-2002, 03:31 PM

HAHAHHAHHAHAH.... thats great. Those "faery" tale elves have no meaning whatsoever... niether do those dwarves, they're a disgrace to all that is elven, (and er dwarven) bah! Santas elves?! pffft! burn em! burn em all! erm... (drow side of me coming out...) FLAY THEM! and teh dwarves! let em work in their mines, with their stinky sweak soaked rags that they call clothes. Mwhahaha. We elves are better then any other race. We are more power magic wise, we are more skilled in weaponary and... we have better wine. You filthy dirt diggers drink crude ale! bah! no class, no taste. (erm so I went over the top... who cares [img]tongue.gif[/img] )

Megabot · 09-19-2002, 12:08 AM

The Elves is what i like becuse of their distant bow atack! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Hrathgar · 09-19-2002, 06:09 AM

The elves by a long shot. The are far better and their abilities are superior to dwarves.

View Poll Results: Elves Vs Dwarfs
Elves	28	70.00%
Dwarfs	12	30.00%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

09-14-2002, 07:14 AM	#1
shadowhound Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: November 24, 2001 Location: Australia Age: 39 Posts: 3,281	A long running argument and also one which is running in my tiny forum, Who is better? The great wise graceful wonderous elves OR Short stumpy smelly midgets? __________________ Carpe Noctem: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh cthulhu r’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

09-14-2002, 07:33 AM	#2
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 40 Posts: 7,029	Elves are better of course! Stupid question that, EVERYONE knows there better, and those who prefer dwarves, probably do because they have paralells with themselves, ie; dwarves drink too much, they smell of ale and urine. They're foul mouthed, ugly, short, smelly, have matted beards, are short, smelly... and drink too much. [img]tongue.gif[/img] They live in holes deep underground, and can't appreciate grace or beauty [img]tongue.gif[/img] hehe. smelly stunties. did I mention they smell? [img]tongue.gif[/img] Elves on the other hand are graceful and deadly, and are far better then humans, dwarves, in fact any other race save dragons... I could write how great elves are, but'd make all of the humans (me included) on the fourmn jealous [img]tongue.gif[/img] . __________________ Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe.

09-14-2002, 10:54 AM	#5
Zarr Symbol of Cyric Join Date: June 19, 2002 Location: Northern Ireland Age: 41 Posts: 1,330	There very different but I like both. You should have made an option to say you liked both. In the end I went for elves purely because I'm playing one in Baldur's Gate at the moment and it's fun. __________________ Minsc - \"Don\'t ask questions better left to aged sages\"<br /><br />\"You must gather your party before venturing forth\". BANG shoots him dead

09-14-2002, 11:09 AM	#6
Paladin2000 Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: February 19, 2002 Location: Your guess is as good as mine. Age: 53 Posts: 1,728	Honestly, I don't know which one is better. But since I like elves more than dwarwes, I voted for the elves. __________________ (This is an invisible sig.)

09-14-2002, 08:09 AM	#3
shadowhound Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: November 24, 2001 Location: Australia Age: 39 Posts: 3,281	Exactly, Elves are far better then dwarves.

09-14-2002, 09:13 AM	#4
Gazza Banned User Join Date: June 17, 2001 Location: Wollongong, NSW, Australia Posts: 282	I have to disagree with you guys. I think dwarves are better. I don't really know why but i've always liked dwarves better than elves.

09-14-2002, 11:35 AM	#7
Rimjaw Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: May 24, 2002 Location: East Coast, Singapore Age: 42 Posts: 890	LOL! This debate has been going one for eons. I remeber a similar debate on Gamespy. Fortunately I saved the conversation (I had to change the pics since the webhost is no longer hosting them but the essence is there). . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fargo: It's all about the Dwarves. shaithis: That's right, Dwarves. None of these pansy-assed elven nature-god whiny magical bitches. Real fighters eat gravel for breakfast and hate the sun, as I do. Fargo: This is unprecedented in GameSpy Grudge history. The two of us agree. We're going to need to bring in a third voice to augment the discussion. Ladies and gentlemen we present Kindrak, resident GameSpy Artist. Kindrak, isn't it true that you're a fan of elves? Kindrak: That is correct. shaithis: And isn't it also true that you're a wussy veggie-eating granolla California green party raver whack job? Kindrak: What's that got to do with elves? shaithis: Everything, if I was running the country. How is some tree-huggin' Spockalike gonna withstand the crushing fury of my big axe, or a hammer the size of a flatbed towtruck? Kindrak: Look, those dirty rockbangers cannot hope to understand the glorious beauty of all things Elven. They will be awestruck at the shimmering citadels that house our armies. They will not be able to comprehend the beautiful, shifting hues and shapes of our Magicks... mainly because those magicks will have burnt their eyeballs from their sockets. The dwarves, with their steam, and coal, and dirt, stand no chance! They're barbarians! shaithis: I'll show you barbarian... [shaithis picks up his keyboard, Fargo restrains him] Fargo: I think what shaithis is getting at is that there are many presentations of elves, and often these presentations are what many in the artistic community would designate as "froo froo." For instance, there are three basic types of Elves: You have your serious immortal Tolkien-types with the pointy ears and the bows, you have your hot chick elves who don't wear any clothes, and you have your cookie-making Santa-sicophanting pointy-shoed jingle-belling wussy elves. Like so: shaithis: Exactly. We're just saying, two out of three elves can't handle the fury of the mighty dwarf, particularly when he's loaded. Look at how Dwarves are always portrayed: Short, angry, helmeted, and swinging big heavy things at anyone who smacks of Martha Stewart. Kindrak: I see. So then ... how do you explain THIS? shaithis: GAH! Fargo: Kindrak what the hell is that? Kindrak: What do you mean, what is that? It's ... It's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves! You've never seen it? shaithis: They're wearing diaphragms on their heads! Fargo: Kindrak what kind of sick adult bookstore did you dredge this from? Kindrak: You're kidding me. It's a Disney classic. See, Snow White is this beautiful girl who the wicked Queen sends into the forest to be killed but she escapes and these seven Dwarves hide her, until she eats a poison apple and a Prince rescues her. Then they live happily ever after. shaithis: That's disgusting. BRING ME MY HAMMER! Fargo: Kindrak, your Froo Froo fairy tales have absolutely no bearing on reality. shaithis: I MUST SMITE ... SOMETHING! [ 09-14-2002, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: Rimjaw ]

09-14-2002, 03:31 PM	#8
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 40 Posts: 7,029	HAHAHHAHHAHAH.... thats great. Those "faery" tale elves have no meaning whatsoever... niether do those dwarves, they're a disgrace to all that is elven, (and er dwarven) bah! Santas elves?! pffft! burn em! burn em all! erm... (drow side of me coming out...) FLAY THEM! and teh dwarves! let em work in their mines, with their stinky sweak soaked rags that they call clothes. Mwhahaha. We elves are better then any other race. We are more power magic wise, we are more skilled in weaponary and... we have better wine. You filthy dirt diggers drink crude ale! bah! no class, no taste. (erm so I went over the top... who cares [img]tongue.gif[/img] ) __________________ Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe.

09-19-2002, 12:08 AM	#9
Megabot Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 18, 2003 Location: Oslo, Norway. Age: 62 Posts: 3,360	The Elves is what i like becuse of their distant bow atack! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

09-19-2002, 06:09 AM	#10
Hrathgar Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: September 12, 2002 Location: Northern Ireland Age: 41 Posts: 9	The elves by a long shot. The are far better and their abilities are superior to dwarves.

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