How do you know if it's love?

[Zeeke75]

Ok, I'm very interested in hearing people's thoughts on knowing (and how they know) when they love someone. It's something that I've thought a lot about in recent weeks, because of a situation that I've found myself in. As I've been thinking about it, I realized that I'm not really sure what "love" is, or at least how to describe it.

Can anyone give me their thoughts on it?

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Protector and Defender of Nature
All bow and cower before the Triumvirate!!!

[Fljotsdale]

Not the easiest question to answer! But I'll try.

1)Most people, when they think they are in love, get a nice buzz from it that is sort of addictive. That is sexual attraction. Nice! But on it's own it is a relatively short-term thing and when it fades you start looking elsewhere.

2)When you share a lot of interests and enjoy each others' company without needing to leap into bed with each other, that's friendship.

3)When a relationship with another person just means getting what you want out of it, that is neither friendship nor sexual attraction.

4) When your relationship with another person means you consider that person's welfare to be of prime importance, regardless of your own interests, than that relationship is valuable.

5) Put 1, 2 & 4 together, chuck 3 out the window, and you just might have a case of real love!


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[Zeeke75]

Originally posted by Fljotsdale: Not the easiest question to answer! But I'll try. 1)Most people, when they think they are in love, get a nice buzz from it that is sort of addictive. That is sexual attraction. Nice! But on it's own it is a relatively short-term thing and when it fades you start looking elsewhere. 2)When you share a lot of interests and enjoy each others' company without needing to leap into bed with each other, that's friendship. 3)When a relationship with another person just means getting what you want out of it, that is neither friendship nor sexual attraction. 4) When your relationship with another person means you consider that person's welfare to be of prime importance, regardless of your own interests, than that relationship is valuable. 5) Put 1, 2 & 4 together, chuck 3 out the window, and you just might have a case of real love!

Wow....thanks Fljotsdale. You described at least my feelings for this woman almost to a perfect fit with numbers 1, 2, and 4. Now, I just got truly figure out what hers are...such a complicated situation....

Anyone else want to throw out their opinion? I'm always willing to listen.

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Protector and Defender of Nature
All bow and cower before the Triumvirate!!!

[Jerome]

Originally posted by Zeeke75: Ok, I'm very interested in hearing people's thoughts on knowing (and how they know) when they love someone. It's something that I've thought a lot about in recent weeks, because of a situation that I've found myself in. As I've been thinking about it, I realized that I'm not really sure what "love" is, or at least how to describe it. Can anyone give me their thoughts on it?

It hurts like hell and never turns out well.

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Jerome, Chairperson Of The International Fluffy Hunting Society

[Aurican]

I think love is when:
- You can picture yourself with a person the rest of you life.
- Devoting all your time and energy to that person.
- When growing old and frail with that person makes you feel happy.
- The thought of that person helping raise your children makes you smile
- You can spend hours talking without feeling like you have somewhere else to go, even if you do
- Being able to rely on that person with your life, because they rely on you just as much.

This is at least some of the ideas I connect with love. I am not yet married but know who and when(as soon as I graduate from college). I hope this love of yours is true, there is nothing like it.

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Can an elf get a break anywhere these days?


http://angelfire.com/rpg/aurican

[Zeeke75]

Originally posted by Aurican: I think love is when: - You can picture yourself with a person the rest of you life. - Devoting all your time and energy to that person. - When growing old and frail with that person makes you feel happy. - The thought of that person helping raise your children makes you smile - You can spend hours talking without feeling like you have somewhere else to go, even if you do - Being able to rely on that person with your life, because they rely on you just as much. This is at least some of the ideas I connect with love. I am not yet married but know who and when(as soon as I graduate from college). I hope this love of yours is true, there is nothing like it.

Man, more of the same feelings that I have. I always knew that love was a deep and profound thing, but I never really realized that it encompassed so much.

Thank you everyone for sharing, this is really helping a lot!!!

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Protector and Defender of Nature
All bow and cower before the Triumvirate!!!

[AliCat]

I once had a friend tell me that it's when you're down to your last lifesaver, and it's your favorite flavor, and your only thought is to give it to your loved one.

I agree with all Aurican's answers.

I met my husband over the internet. It took us a while to realize it was love, but later I realized I had started falling in love right from the start. About two or three weeks after we started writing each other, he told me that he was going away for a weekend with a girl he'd been seeing on and off, and that the weekend might change their relationship. I barely knew this guy at the time, but my heart about tore with the thought of losing him. And as far as I knew at the time, I didn't know him well enough to love him.

I think another thing that's important is loving a person for who they are, knowing all their faults. Anyone can love the good parts, but you have to go in knowing it is NOT your mission to change this person -- you have to love them for everything that they are (even if you don't love the faults, you have to be willing to accept the package or learn how to live with it).

For instance, I snore. Nothing I can change. My husband can accept that, for all the good things I have to give as well.

And just to put in my two cents on marriage and/or other forms of permanent relationship, make sure you and your mate agree or can live with the other's opinions on the important stuff, like childrearing, having children, how you handle money, ambition, and so forth. If you're a compulsive gambler and your mate is careful with money, you're in for years of pain.

[Wah]

Alas, I wish I could say something but my love has wandered somewhere between the lines of betrayal and "hard to get".

I want to speak, but its nervous. I look but I get no response.

So sadly, I've learned and made a belief with something called fate - don't guide your love = let your love guide you.

Pity, I'm so happy when I don't feel worried about love, perhaps it's the pleasure of knowing that you are free and happy with what you've got that makes me think, "hey, do I really need this?" "Am I being too rational?"

That kind of thing.
But I'm not looking anymore.
Love is not like pirate's treasure. And even if I do find it = what am I to do with it? How should I handle the situation?

So - love is not the equation for me at the moment, alas, but I've been down too many stony paths that have shown me the hard times.

I don't want history to repeat itself. But hey, I wish you good luck if you think that you're up for it.

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[Staralfur]

When you hug them you never want to let go.

You know its love when all aspects of it are unconditional on both sides and there is security in being apart.


Moni

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