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#1 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
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I recieved this in my e-mail, of course. Thought it was interesting. Enjoy!
1.NAMES > >> If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will > >>call > >>each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. > >> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer > >>to > >>each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. > >> > >> 2.EATING OUT > >> When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a > >>$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything > >>smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. > >> When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > >> > >> 3.MONEY > >> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs > >> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on > >>sale. > >> > >> 4.BATHROOMS > >> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, > >>razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. > >> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A > >>man would not be able to identify most of these items. > >> > >> 5.ARGUMENTS > >> A woman has the last word in any argument. > >> Anything a man says after that.... is the beginning of a new > >>argument. > >> > >> 6.CATSBR Women love cats. > >> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. > >> > >> 7.FUTURE > >> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > >> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > >> > >> 8.SUCCESS > >> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > >> A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > >> > >> 9.MARRIAGE > >> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > >> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. > >> > >> 10.DRESSING UP > >> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the > >>garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > >> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > >> > >> 11.NATURAL > >> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > >> Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > >> > >> 12.OFFSPRING > >> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about > >>dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret > >>fears and hopes and dreams. > >> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > >> > >> 13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > >> Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two > >>people > >>remembering the same thing. > >> > >> AND FINALLY.....A couple drove down a country road for several miles, > >>not saying a word. > >> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them > >>wanted > >>to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack > >>asses,and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" > >> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." |
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#2 |
Symbol of Bane
![]() Join Date: November 26, 2001
Location: Texas
Age: 76
Posts: 8,167
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Dude, don't post that at Harvard. They'll bury you right alongside Lawrence Summers.
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Even Heroes sometimes fail... ![]() |
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#3 |
Takhisis Follower
![]() Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Wicked
![]() I don't get the reasoning behind your statement, Attalus. Err.. I mean, Attalus, why?
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
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#4 |
Manshoon
![]() Join Date: July 15, 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 50
Posts: 213
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The President of Harvard University recently got in some hot water for making comments about the differences b/w men and women.
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[img]\"http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v381/AngAvs/avatar6517_2.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />A Thinking Monkey told me. |
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#5 | |
Silver Dragon
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Quote:
I particularly liked this one! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] |
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#6 |
Legion Symbol
![]() Join Date: February 14, 2002
Location: Ireland
Age: 40
Posts: 7,368
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A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
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ZFR |
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#7 |
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
![]() Join Date: November 3, 2001
Location: Canada
Age: 64
Posts: 2,871
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Feminists, bite my shiny metal ass.
The last one was HILARIOUS |
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#8 |
Manshoon
![]() Join Date: January 7, 2005
Location: Tucson,AZ
Age: 63
Posts: 161
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I know #6 doesn't belong in the list but the rest are pretty right on (stereotypically of course
![]() Funny!
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[img]\"http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/VioletMcKeever/AniV.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br />A Man With Poetry On His Lips Also Has Wings On His Heart<br />The Harder You Run From Your Dreams, The Harder They Run After You<br />I Am Not A Human Having Spiritual Experiences, I Am A Spirit Having Human Experiences<br />Smart As A Whip; Heart Of Gold; Tough As Nails; Lost In The Woods |
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#9 |
Apophis
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::applauds:: Bravo.
Original. A thread about the stereotypical differences between men and women. That's someting we haven't had enough of around here lately. Creative and funny, to boot. I'd love to meet the razor-sharp author of this little ditty.
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http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw. |
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#10 | |
Takhisis Follower
![]() Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Quote:
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__________________
Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
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