Help, I am a to be an Usher at a formal wedding

D W Washburn · 03-11-2003, 09:45 PM

I really need advice about the proper way to usher a formal wedding. I think right is considered the groom's side of the sanctuary and the left is considered the bride's (when you're looking at the altar from the back of the church). At a Jewish ceremony, it's reversed. However, many people do not bother seating guests according to sides anymore.

Older ladies first, brides brother go's where?..what do I do? Help!

Hot bowl of soup

D W Washburn · 03-11-2003, 09:55 PM

Should I screen people as they enter or what? Or intimidate them

Thanks in advance.- D W

The Hierophant · 03-11-2003, 10:34 PM

Well, just operate under the universal success policy:
Be polite
Be considerate
Be confident.

So long as all of the invited guests get a place to see the wedding from no one is going to be too upset.
And yes it pays to ensure that the elderly guests definately get a seat as they may have trouble standing up for long periods of time. Preferably near the front as their hearing/vision may not be 100%.
Bottom line is, just relax buddy. Play it cool and you'll get through it no problems. Try speaking to the families/wedding organizers if you want detailed instructions about what they want you to do.

You'll be fine.
Have a good time! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Gammit · 03-11-2003, 10:47 PM

I work in the wedding industry for a part time job, so I'll see if I can help you at all:

1.) the groom is typically on the right, so "his guests" are also seated on the right. This is a custom from WAY back when, so the groom could hold his lady's hand with his left, and have his right hand free to go for a weapon (usually a sword) if need be.
2.) always offer your arm to the ladies when leading them to their seats
3.) in general, it isn't impolite to ask the guests which side they'd like to sit on
4.) ask the groom or bride if you get confused. If the bride or groom can't be bothered with questions, ask the best man or maid of honor
5.) above all else, RELAX AND HAVE FUN!!! Weddings are supposed to be enjoyed, not worried through (that's bride's and groom's job)

Have fun and good luck!

Cloudbringer · 03-12-2003, 01:47 PM

Ack....I'm starting that worry session, Gammit! LOL Nacht and I are starting the planning process, but we'll be having a small wedding, so hopefully the worring can be kept smallish!

The way I understand it, the bride and groom should make it clear to all party members what they are expected to do during the wedding/reception. So if all else fails, ask the people who are having the wedding!

You'll be at the rehearsal too, I imagine... I know that's usually right before the wedding but it will be fresh in everyone's minds what to do! Good luck!

slicer15 · 03-12-2003, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
Ack....I'm starting that worry session, Gammit! LOL Nacht and I are starting the planning process, but we'll be having a small wedding, so hopefully the worring can be kept smallish!

The way I understand it, the bride and groom should make it clear to all party members what they are expected to do during the wedding/reception. So if all else fails, ask the people who are having the wedding! You'll be at the rehearsal too, I imagine... I know that's usually right before the wedding but it will be fresh in everyone's minds what to do! Good luck!

Wow! Your getting married? Congratulations!! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
PS: Forgive me if evryone else knew that, I don't know anybody personally here...though I might do, just haven't found out!

D W Washburn · 03-12-2003, 05:34 PM

I am a little nervous LoL! Not as much as Cloudbringer thow

Good luck to you and yours my ladie.
Thanks Hierophant and Gammit for those tips. Very helpful to me.

Spring is coming soon which always means alot of weddings around here. Feel free to post heart warming stories or just plain funny ones.

One time at a wedding I saw some people drink to much and dance for hours, wait a minute that was me come to think of it.. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Gammit · 03-12-2003, 09:48 PM

Cloudbringer,
Congratulations! I know the feeling, I'm going through it myself! If there's anything I can ever do to help you out, just send me an e-mail or pm!

Cloudbringer · 03-12-2003, 11:32 PM

[img]smile.gif[/img] Thanks to slicer, DW and Gammit for the kind wishes!

Gammit, that's right, I remember reading where you just got engaged, didn't you?! Congrats to you too, then!

Thanks for the offer, I may bounce things off you if needs be!

Nacht and I are planning a moderately small wedding. If I were to invite ALL me reasonably close relatives...... uh.. well, let's just say I have TWENTY first cousins and leave it at that! LOL! So we were hoping to keep it to close friends and immediate family for the most part.

Our biggest issue was Nacht needing to find work, which he has, so we just have to pick a date and get with my priest for the paperwork.

I got a 'wedding planner' book and was a little shocked at all the things you COULD do! eeeeeeeeeeeef! I think I'll be having the most simple wedding imaginable compared to some in the book!

[ 03-12-2003, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

03-11-2003, 10:34 PM	#3
The Hierophant Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: May 10, 2002 Location: Dunedin, New Zealand. Age: 42 Posts: 2,860	Well, just operate under the universal success policy: Be polite Be considerate Be confident. So long as all of the invited guests get a place to see the wedding from no one is going to be too upset. And yes it pays to ensure that the elderly guests definately get a seat as they may have trouble standing up for long periods of time. Preferably near the front as their hearing/vision may not be 100%. Bottom line is, just relax buddy. Play it cool and you'll get through it no problems. Try speaking to the families/wedding organizers if you want detailed instructions about what they want you to do. You'll be fine. Have a good time! [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ [img]\"hosted/Hierophant.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Strewth!

03-11-2003, 10:47 PM	#4
Gammit Elminster Join Date: October 26, 2001 Location: Sterling Heights, MI, USA Age: 46 Posts: 477	I work in the wedding industry for a part time job, so I'll see if I can help you at all: 1.) the groom is typically on the right, so "his guests" are also seated on the right. This is a custom from WAY back when, so the groom could hold his lady's hand with his left, and have his right hand free to go for a weapon (usually a sword) if need be. 2.) always offer your arm to the ladies when leading them to their seats 3.) in general, it isn't impolite to ask the guests which side they'd like to sit on 4.) ask the groom or bride if you get confused. If the bride or groom can't be bothered with questions, ask the best man or maid of honor 5.) above all else, RELAX AND HAVE FUN!!! Weddings are supposed to be enjoyed, not worried through (that's bride's and groom's job) Have fun and good luck! __________________ IW resident science and mathematics teacher<br /><br />\"No, no, you\'re not thinking; you\'re just being logical.\"<br />-Niels Bohr

03-12-2003, 01:47 PM	#5
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Ack....I'm starting that worry session, Gammit! LOL Nacht and I are starting the planning process, but we'll be having a small wedding, so hopefully the worring can be kept smallish! The way I understand it, the bride and groom should make it clear to all party members what they are expected to do during the wedding/reception. So if all else fails, ask the people who are having the wedding! You'll be at the rehearsal too, I imagine... I know that's usually right before the wedding but it will be fresh in everyone's minds what to do! Good luck! __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

03-12-2003, 09:48 PM	#8
Gammit Elminster Join Date: October 26, 2001 Location: Sterling Heights, MI, USA Age: 46 Posts: 477	Cloudbringer, Congratulations! I know the feeling, I'm going through it myself! If there's anything I can ever do to help you out, just send me an e-mail or pm! __________________ IW resident science and mathematics teacher<br /><br />\"No, no, you\'re not thinking; you\'re just being logical.\"<br />-Niels Bohr

03-12-2003, 11:32 PM	#9
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	[img]smile.gif[/img] Thanks to slicer, DW and Gammit for the kind wishes! Gammit, that's right, I remember reading where you just got engaged, didn't you?! Congrats to you too, then! Thanks for the offer, I may bounce things off you if needs be! Nacht and I are planning a moderately small wedding. If I were to invite ALL me reasonably close relatives...... uh.. well, let's just say I have TWENTY first cousins and leave it at that! LOL! So we were hoping to keep it to close friends and immediate family for the most part. Our biggest issue was Nacht needing to find work, which he has, so we just have to pick a date and get with my priest for the paperwork. I got a 'wedding planner' book and was a little shocked at all the things you COULD do! eeeeeeeeeeeef! I think I'll be having the most simple wedding imaginable compared to some in the book! [ 03-12-2003, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ] __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

03-11-2003, 09:45 PM	#1
D W Washburn Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: July 26, 2002 Location: the gutter Posts: 47	I really need advice about the proper way to usher a formal wedding. I think right is considered the groom's side of the sanctuary and the left is considered the bride's (when you're looking at the altar from the back of the church). At a Jewish ceremony, it's reversed. However, many people do not bother seating guests according to sides anymore. Older ladies first, brides brother go's where?..what do I do? Help! Hot bowl of soup

03-11-2003, 09:55 PM	#2
D W Washburn Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: July 26, 2002 Location: the gutter Posts: 47	Should I screen people as they enter or what? Or intimidate them Thanks in advance.- D W

03-12-2003, 05:34 PM	#7
D W Washburn Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: July 26, 2002 Location: the gutter Posts: 47	I am a little nervous LoL! Not as much as Cloudbringer thow Good luck to you and yours my ladie. Thanks Hierophant and Gammit for those tips. Very helpful to me. Spring is coming soon which always means alot of weddings around here. Feel free to post heart warming stories or just plain funny ones. One time at a wedding I saw some people drink to much and dance for hours, wait a minute that was me come to think of it.. [img]smile.gif[/img]

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