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Old 01-03-2003, 04:53 AM   #1
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Brisbane
Age: 30
Posts: 5,401
Ive heard this joke many times, but mabye some of you haven't.

Tough Final

This past fall semester, at Yale University, there were two
sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty
well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such
that going into the final, they had a solid A. These two friends
were so confident going into the final that the weekend before
finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they
decided to go up to Harvard and party with some friends up there.
So they did this and had a great time.

However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all
day Sunday and didn't make it back to New Haven until early Monday
morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to
find the professor after the final and explain to him why they
missed the final. They told him that they went up to Cambridge for
the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but
that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare
and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back
to campus. The prof thought this over and then agreed that they
could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were
elated and relieved. So they studied that night and went in the
next day at the time that the prof had told them. He placed them
in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told
them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about
free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought,
"this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned
the page.

They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.

It said: '(95 points) Which tire?'
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Old 01-03-2003, 05:39 AM   #2
Callum Kerr
Drizzt Do'Urden
 

Join Date: October 11, 2002
Location: Malaysia
Age: 29
Posts: 638
Yep... read it... but still good... keep 'em coming
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Old 01-03-2003, 05:47 AM   #3
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Brisbane
Age: 30
Posts: 5,401
Another fairly good one.

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in
the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial
embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the
top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the
woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm
awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me
another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a
better idea....let's pretend we're married."

"Why not," giggles the woman.

"Good", he replies. "Get your own damn blanket."
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Old 01-03-2003, 06:01 AM   #4
Callum Kerr
Drizzt Do'Urden
 

Join Date: October 11, 2002
Location: Malaysia
Age: 29
Posts: 638
And that one

[ 01-03-2003, 05:06 AM: Message edited by: Callum Kerr ]
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Old 01-03-2003, 06:25 AM   #5
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Brisbane
Age: 30
Posts: 5,401
Well what about this one?

One day, an engineer died and went to heaven. But, St. Peter said
"I can't let you in because your name is not on the list."
So the engineer went down to Hell and was let in.
Well, he stayed there for a couple of days and then decided that,
it was too hot and everything was inaccessible.
So he built flushing toilets, air conditioning, running water and a lot of other things.
One day God calls down and says to Satan,
"So Satan, how's it down there in hell?? " and Satan says:
"Well, it's great, I've got an engineer down here and he has build air conditioning,
running water, flushing toilets, and I don't know what else, he's gonna build next.
Then God asks, "You've got an engineer down there?"
"That's a big mistake, send him up here right now!" and Satan replies,
"No way this is the best thing that's ever happened to hell." and God says,
"send him up or I'll sue!!" and Satan says smirking,

"Now just where are you gonna get a lawyer??"
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Old 01-03-2003, 10:32 AM   #6
Callum Kerr
Drizzt Do'Urden
 

Join Date: October 11, 2002
Location: Malaysia
Age: 29
Posts: 638
Over and over and over again!

My turn...

A lawyer goes into a bank, and asks to loan $1,500 for six months. The bank manager says, "Well, that's a lot of money, we are going to need some kind of insurance that you can pay it back."
The lawyer replies, "OK sure, you can have my Mercedes for a while."
So the lawyer drives his car into the vault and is given the $1,500. He then goes for an around the world cruise for half a year.
When he comes back, he goes to the bank and pays back the money he owes, plus interest, which amounts to $15. The bank manager then comes up to him and says, "While you were away, we did some back-up checks on you and found that you are a millionaire! You don't need that money! WHy did you borrow it?"

And the lawyer replies, "Where else could I park my car for half a year for only $15?"

Edit: owch... typed blue instead of skyblue in the font colour

[ 01-03-2003, 09:35 AM: Message edited by: Callum Kerr ]
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