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Old 10-20-2002, 11:08 AM   #1

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
Classroom Quotes

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
STUDENT: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
STUDENT: No, I'm Billy Anderson.

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
STUDENT: I get up early.

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
STUDENT: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Slow Children crossing."

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher....snakes don't have feet!

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is....
TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".

TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SASHA: A new bike.

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
BOY: Thank Goodness!!

53.7% of all statistics are made up
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Old 10-20-2002, 11:58 AM   #2

Join Date: May 2, 2001
Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum
Age: 37
Posts: 5,281
Nice to read them again, been a while. [img]smile.gif[/img]
[url]\"\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"\" alt=\" - \" /></a>
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Old 10-20-2002, 05:19 PM   #3

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
Originally posted by Grojlach:
Nice to read them again, been a while. [img]smile.gif[/img]
Sorry about that!!! I try not to repeat myself! I say, Boy! I try not to repeat myself.

53.7% of all statistics are made up
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Old 10-20-2002, 05:26 PM   #4
Sir Goulum
John Locke

Join Date: February 7, 2002
Location: Edmonton, Canada
Age: 29
Posts: 8,985
LOL! Well, I haven't seen it! I love the 'Slow Children Walking' one!
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Old 10-21-2002, 07:25 PM   #5
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe

Join Date: October 11, 2001
Location: At My Computer
Age: 37
Posts: 2,217
good ones arvon
Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho
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Old 10-21-2002, 08:43 PM   #6
Gold Dragon

Join Date: June 18, 2002
Location: Wolfville, NS / Calgary, AB
Age: 31
Posts: 2,563
Heehee, it's like a trip down memory lane!
[img]\"\" alt=\" - \" />
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Old 10-21-2002, 09:08 PM   #7
Fzoul Chembryl

Join Date: June 14, 2001
Location: Vermont
Age: 27
Posts: 1,752
ROTFLMAO! Thanks Arvon, good laughing material there.... never seen it before! [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] The "I didn't do my homework" one was the best! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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Old 10-21-2002, 10:58 PM   #8
Symbol of Cyric

Join Date: August 18, 2002
Location: Where Eagles Dare
Age: 30
Posts: 1,391
Originally posted by Arvon:

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.


That one is halrious.
<br />[url]\"\" target=\"_blank\">Once Upon A Paper</a><br />Living on a razors edge<br />Balancing on ledge<br />Living on a razors edge
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Old 10-22-2002, 12:56 AM   #9

Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 33
Posts: 6,043
*sigh* those bring back memories ^_^

This one is 100% true:

Teacher: "Don't run with sicors sticking out like that!"

Me: "But If I don't Then I'LL be the one who get's stabbed when someone runs into me!"

[img]\"\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;
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