THE TELEPHONE

Megabot · 07-06-2002, 10:43 AM

THE TELEPHONE CHAPTER I

My phone rang and I picked it up. A woman asked, "Is Tom there?"
I answered, "No, Tom doesn't live here."
She said, "Are you sure?" Like I'm an idiot who doesn't know who lives with me.
So I said, "Oh, Tom."
"Yeah, Tom! Is he there?"
I said, "I don't know."
She started to get mad. "He's out with that blond again, isn't he?"
I answered, "Yeah."
"He's out with Cindy?"
"Yeah."
She said, "I bet he's still seeing Laura, too!"
I didn't answer.
"He's sleeping with Laura, isn't he?"
"Only once, but he was drunk."
"He's drinking again?" [img]graemlins/cheers.gif[/img]
"Yeah."
"And tell me, who else is he seeing?"
"I better not say. I don't want to get Tom in trouble."
She screamed, "You tell Tom to call me tonight or we're through!" and she slammed down the phone.
I don't know who Tom is, but I'll tell you one thing, I just did him a big favor.

CHAPTER II
The phone rang. I looked at my Caller ID. It was a salesman. I picked up the phone, "Hello."
A man asked, "Is Mr. Hanifin home?"
"No," I said.
"Is Mrs. Hanifin home?"
"No."
He said, "Who are you?"
I said, "A burglar," and hung up.

CHAPTER III
I called up my credit card company. A man answered, "My name's Dwayne. How can I help you?"
I said, "My bill was $786.27 and I figure it's only $27.13."
Dwayne said, "What's your credit card number?"
I looked at the number closely, took a deep breath, and said, "6 zillion, 207 trillion, 872 billion, 212 million, 933 thousand, 614."
Dwayne said, "Can you give that to me again?"
I said, "6 zillion, 207 trillion, 872 billion, 212 million. 933 thousand, 614."
Dwayne said, "What's you social security number?"
I said, "842 billion, 238 million, 491 thousand, 937."
Dwayne said, "I need your phone number with the area code first."
I said, "94 billion, 257 million, 226 thousand, 604, but it's cheaper if you call 1010 811 zillion, 194 billion…"
He interrupted me. "Sir, I'm going to just change your bill."

CHAPTER IV
The phone rang. I looked at my Caller ID and read; NORTH AMERICAN BANK.
I picked up the phone. "Hello."
A woman asked, "Is this Patrick Hanifin?"
"Yes."
"You've been pre-approved for a credit card with a $5,000 limit."
"Wow, thanks! Can I take the money out in cash?"
"Yes, sir. I guess so…"
"That's great. Now I'll be able to pay my rent."
"You say you're behind in your rent?"
"Yeah, it's hard to get a job after you've been in prison."
"You say you were in prison?"
"Yes, ma'am, for 10 years."
"What were you in for?"
"Credit card fraud."

I cant stop post this storyes sorry guys LOL!!

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[ 07-06-2002, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

Grojlach · 07-06-2002, 10:45 AM

Lol, nice ones!

Madman-Rogovich · 07-06-2002, 10:49 AM

thanks for cheering me up man they rule!

Earthdog · 07-06-2002, 10:57 AM

That rocked [img]smile.gif[/img] Reminds me of a few annoying calls Ive had. Will go into those another time

Megabot · 07-06-2002, 10:57 AM

THX a lot guys you are great all of you on this forum and i loove storyes like this lol And i am happy when you are!! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

/)eathKiller · 07-06-2002, 11:09 AM

Whoah dude those are some of the best prank calls i've ever heard!

Have you heard of the show from the makers of the "Man Show" that's on TV now, it's called CRANK YANKERS and they have these puppets call actual people and make prank calls and then they act both ends of the line out with puppets [img]tongue.gif[/img] it's a REAL hoot!

Madman-Rogovich · 07-06-2002, 11:14 AM

I once had a weird experience with a phone,

I once picked up the phone randomly to phone a friend and it was dead , then i heard my friends voice ,i picked up the phone before it rang ever happened to anyone else?

07-06-2002, 11:21 AM

A little off topic but, I once heard a captain of a plane talk on my friend's walky-talky, when we were near Adelaide Airport.

In other words I heard, something like "This is your captain, the seat-belt light is now on, please return to your seats, for landing". - can't remember exactly. Cool huh?

WillowIX · 07-06-2002, 11:52 AM

ROFL Megabot! Don´t stop!! We want more...

Megabot · 07-06-2002, 12:00 PM

Quote:

ROFL Megabot! Don´t stop!! We want more...

OKAY i will find one more guys! LOL!!!

07-06-2002, 10:45 AM	#2
Grojlach Zartan Join Date: May 2, 2001 Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum Age: 43 Posts: 5,281	Lol, nice ones! __________________ [url]\"http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/Grobbel/\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://www.denness.net/rpi/username/Grobbel\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

07-06-2002, 10:49 AM	#3
Madman-Rogovich Lord Soth Join Date: October 23, 2001 Location: Edinburgh Age: 39 Posts: 1,918	thanks for cheering me up man they rule! __________________ One room, one axe, one outcome.

07-06-2002, 10:57 AM	#4
Earthdog Emerald Dragon Join Date: May 1, 2001 Location: melbourne victoria australia Age: 59 Posts: 960	That rocked [img]smile.gif[/img] Reminds me of a few annoying calls Ive had. Will go into those another time __________________ THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

07-06-2002, 11:09 AM	#6
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 39 Posts: 6,043	Whoah dude those are some of the best prank calls i've ever heard! Have you heard of the show from the makers of the "Man Show" that's on TV now, it's called CRANK YANKERS and they have these puppets call actual people and make prank calls and then they act both ends of the line out with puppets [img]tongue.gif[/img] it's a REAL hoot! __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

07-06-2002, 11:14 AM	#7
Madman-Rogovich Lord Soth Join Date: October 23, 2001 Location: Edinburgh Age: 39 Posts: 1,918	I once had a weird experience with a phone, I once picked up the phone randomly to phone a friend and it was dead , then i heard my friends voice ,i picked up the phone before it rang ever happened to anyone else? __________________ One room, one axe, one outcome.

07-06-2002, 10:43 AM	#1
Megabot Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 18, 2003 Location: Oslo, Norway. Age: 61 Posts: 3,360	THE TELEPHONE CHAPTER I My phone rang and I picked it up. A woman asked, "Is Tom there?" I answered, "No, Tom doesn't live here." She said, "Are you sure?" Like I'm an idiot who doesn't know who lives with me. So I said, "Oh, Tom." "Yeah, Tom! Is he there?" I said, "I don't know." She started to get mad. "He's out with that blond again, isn't he?" I answered, "Yeah." "He's out with Cindy?" "Yeah." She said, "I bet he's still seeing Laura, too!" I didn't answer. "He's sleeping with Laura, isn't he?" "Only once, but he was drunk." "He's drinking again?" [img]graemlins/cheers.gif[/img] "Yeah." "And tell me, who else is he seeing?" "I better not say. I don't want to get Tom in trouble." She screamed, "You tell Tom to call me tonight or we're through!" and she slammed down the phone. I don't know who Tom is, but I'll tell you one thing, I just did him a big favor. CHAPTER II The phone rang. I looked at my Caller ID. It was a salesman. I picked up the phone, "Hello." A man asked, "Is Mr. Hanifin home?" "No," I said. "Is Mrs. Hanifin home?" "No." He said, "Who are you?" I said, "A burglar," and hung up. CHAPTER III I called up my credit card company. A man answered, "My name's Dwayne. How can I help you?" I said, "My bill was $786.27 and I figure it's only $27.13." Dwayne said, "What's your credit card number?" I looked at the number closely, took a deep breath, and said, "6 zillion, 207 trillion, 872 billion, 212 million, 933 thousand, 614." Dwayne said, "Can you give that to me again?" I said, "6 zillion, 207 trillion, 872 billion, 212 million. 933 thousand, 614." Dwayne said, "What's you social security number?" I said, "842 billion, 238 million, 491 thousand, 937." Dwayne said, "I need your phone number with the area code first." I said, "94 billion, 257 million, 226 thousand, 604, but it's cheaper if you call 1010 811 zillion, 194 billion…" He interrupted me. "Sir, I'm going to just change your bill." CHAPTER IV The phone rang. I looked at my Caller ID and read; NORTH AMERICAN BANK. I picked up the phone. "Hello." A woman asked, "Is this Patrick Hanifin?" "Yes." "You've been pre-approved for a credit card with a $5,000 limit." "Wow, thanks! Can I take the money out in cash?" "Yes, sir. I guess so…" "That's great. Now I'll be able to pay my rent." "You say you're behind in your rent?" "Yeah, it's hard to get a job after you've been in prison." "You say you were in prison?" "Yes, ma'am, for 10 years." "What were you in for?" "Credit card fraud." I cant stop post this storyes sorry guys LOL!! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [ 07-06-2002, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

07-06-2002, 11:21 AM	#8
Deathbringer Guest Posts: n/a	A little off topic but, I once heard a captain of a plane talk on my friend's walky-talky, when we were near Adelaide Airport. In other words I heard, something like "This is your captain, the seat-belt light is now on, please return to your seats, for landing". - can't remember exactly. Cool huh?

07-06-2002, 11:52 AM	#9
WillowIX Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2001 Location: By a big blue lake, Canada Age: 50 Posts: 4,628	ROFL Megabot! Don´t stop!! We want more... __________________ Confuzzled by nature.

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