Resume (Daddy is so proud)

[Desuma Malevois]

My sister-in-law sent me this, so I thought I'd share it with the forum.

GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC WORK EXPERIENCE: · Ran for Congress and lost. · Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie. · Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. · Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox. · With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR: · Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. · Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. · Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. · Set the record for most executions by any Governor in American history. · Became President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: · Attacked two countries. · Spent the surplus and bankrupted the Treasury. · Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history. · Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period. · Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market. · First President in decades to execute a federal prisoner. · First President in US history to enter office with a criminal record. · In the first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any President in US history. · After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history. · Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other President in US history. · In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs. · Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any President in US history. · Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any President in US history. · Presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed. · Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past Presidents have. · Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans. · Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. · Dissolved more international treaties than any President in US history. · Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her). · First President in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community. · Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States. · Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any President in US history. · First President in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission. · First President in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board. · Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of Congressional oversight than any Presidential administration in US history. · Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. · Withdrew from the World Court of Law. · Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war, and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions. · Am the first President in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections). · Am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations. · My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, Kenneth Lay, (former CEO of Enron) who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history. · With a policy of "disengagement," I created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years. · First US President in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my Presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability. · First US President in history to have the people of South Korea feel more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea. · Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive." · Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects. · In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States. · Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other President in US history. · In a little over two years I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war. · Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and, in less than two years, turned every single economic category heading straight down. RECORD AND REFERENCES: · Have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available). · Was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war. · Refused to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use. · All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. · All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. · All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. · Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

[ 10-19-2003, 03:53 AM: Message edited by: Desuma Malevois ]

[Black Baron]

Lets look at the bright side.
-kicked ben laden, and made his job all the harder.
-destroyed husseins regime, thus making iraquis happy andremoved one mre terrorist.
Invading soverighn country...hah! If hitler was attacked in 1938, it was also invading sovereign country? Hussein paid for suisiders in israel. he was a terrorist and he is a terrorist. Mass graves they do exist you know.
-USA the only country except israel that fights the global terror in reality, and not says-hey, terrorists have rights too.

i wonder who exactly can find ben laden. Al gore? Clinton? Since no one can i do not view it as his failure. And he will be caught someday.
In economy bush is a failure, i agree. But he has some bright sides in his cadency as well.
I do not want to start reciting clintons crimes. All this cosovo-monika buisness is criminal activity. A lot of people died so bill could point attention of the public to some other problem rather than monika.
Clinton should go to jail.

[Faceman]

Hmmmmm,

The guy is,was and has become (through stocktrading during 9-11) filthy rich. I wonder why we can't find him in an Afghanistan cave or at least somewhere in Iraq.
But then again bombing the Caymans or Switzerland would probably be even less well received by the global community.

[Jorath Calar]

Originally posted by Black Baron: I do not want to start reciting clintons crimes. All this cosovo-monika buisness is criminal activity. A lot of people died so bill could point attention of the public to some other problem rather than monika. Clinton should go to jail.

Not jumping to Clintons defence in anyway... just wondering about one thing... how is getting your "splooch" on a blue dress even comparable to stealing presidental election, starting a global war, putting worlds leading nation economy into ruin, making the United Nations obsolete... and well just look at the list above...

I just don't get it... but to me it is kind of like saying the guy who jaywalked should go to jail instead of a rapist...

[khazadman]

That "resume" is nothing more than the dems wishful thinking. Especially those things that deal with the economy. Bush inherited a bad economy from his predecessor, Bill Clinton. And contrary to poipular belief, you cannot cause the economy to improve overnight. It's not like switching on a light. It takes time.

[Timber Loftis]

Hey, Desuma, Long time no talk. I generally liked this article/rant a lot. However, the list is fine without misrepresenting things. Let's take a few.

· Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.

Finicky inaccuracy? I'm not baseball buff, but did Sosa go to the Sox before the Cubs or did he come straight from the Rangers to the Cubs?

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR: · Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

Texas has always been in the top 5 for pollution.

· Became President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Yep.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: · Spent the surplus and bankrupted the Treasury. · Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history. · Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period. · Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

My biggest problems with him. Very nice list.

· After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

Yes, PRESIDED. Presided over something lingering from other presidencies or altogether unimaginable anyway. Like Gulliani, he "presided" -- and well, for a while.

· Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any President in US history.

Actually, Clinton did this. By limiting unemployment benefits to 6mos./1yr. Hey -- it is supposed to be a *temporary* thing, you know? Anyway, Bush actually backtracked and, because he screwed the economy, had to undo Clinton's changes and extend these benefits back out. So, the Democrat Clinton reformed wellfare in the needed hardass way, and the Republican bleeding heart Bush spent to much taxes and had to undo it all. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] I feel like I'm living in Opposites Land. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Anyway, this statement is a misrepresentation. And, as such, it detracts from the witiness of the overall piece.

· Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any President in US history.

Laws and executive orders don't and can't amend the constitution. They may violate it or ignore it, but they can't amend it. *Bzzzzzt* Wrong again.

· Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past Presidents have.

BS. If you adjust for inflation, gas has steadily decreased in price for 20 years or more. And, keep those national reserves. Let's burn other people's natural resources before we use ours.

· Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I can't believe the person who wrote this would compare the world-wide war protests -- about which very few of us even gave a damn -- with Alabama Civil Rights marches, Kent State, or marches on Washington during Vietnam. Don't insult my intelligence.

· Dissolved more international treaties than any President in US history.

Disolved? Pfffft. Again, ignored maybe, but not dissolved.

· Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

Yeah, Condi just reeks of old money. This chick worked her butt off to become a success, even during the days when the deck was stacked against her (rather than *for* her, as they now would be) as a woman and a black American. What poor taste to make this comment.

· First President in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

I get the point the author is trying to make, but it's poorly stated. Japan was a sovereign nation and we attacked it. So was Germany.

· Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

Not really worth comment. DHS is likely more of a good thing than a bad thing, and didn't *create* much new, but rather reorganized things. It's where the Coast Guard belongs, as a for instance.

RECORD AND REFERENCES: · Have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available). · Was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war. · Refused to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use. · All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. · All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. · All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. · Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Well, yeah, he does sound kinda like Lenin and Stalin and Kruchev in that way. Perhaps Russia should send us a copy of Perestroika so we can see that the whole thing Gorby was imitating about the US was its openness of information. Bush is certainly taking that away.

But, all in all, these liberal sputterings could be more even-tempered and garner more respect. From me, at least.

[Timber Loftis]

Originally posted by khazadman: That "resume" is nothing more than the dems wishful thinking. Especially those things that deal with the economy. Bush inherited a bad economy from his predecessor, Bill Clinton. And contrary to poipular belief, you cannot cause the economy to improve overnight. It's not like switching on a light. It takes time.

Right. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] What every president who failed at the economy has said. Clinton inherited a bad economy.

[Sir Taliesin]

The article left out something! That is he is likely to first President to get re-elected to office after having lost the popular vote, but winning the Electral College in the first election. Cause that's whats going to happen unless the Dems pull their heads out of their butts and get a real Candidate! Could that be why they call them DEMS, cause they got their heads where they don't belong?