Need some advice

[Animal]

I am confused. I got married when I was 19 to the greatest woman on earth. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for her and vice versa. We had a little girl 2 years later, a spitting image of her mother. In the summer of 1995 our family was ripped apart by a car accident and I lost my wife. She was hit head on by a driver who'd had too much to drink. My daughter is now 9. It's been very difficult for both of us rasing her by myself. Sometimes I think it's harder on her because she never really knew her mother. I loved Michelle totaly and completely. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and think of her. My daughter wants me to start meeting other women and dating. Yes, she's 9! Boy do they grow up fast! A friend tried to set me up last year, but all I could think of was I was cheating so it never got past the first date. Please, don't feel sorry for me, that's not what I want from this post. My question being; do you beleive that there is only one true love for each of us? I can't imagine loving anyone again as much as I did my wife (except my daughter of course!) Can true love be found again? I hope some of the more "experienced" posters can give me some insight. Most of my friends tell me yes, but they've never lost a spouse. I wish my wife were here

[Tiamat]

There are as many true loves as there are microbes in Oblivion. You just gotta try and remeber what you liked about her and focus on that type of woman.

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

Wow... hmmm, that's a tough one.
One one hand you don't feel right with other women, yet your daughter wants you to, and she's probably trying to be as supportive as possible.
Well, I can't give you an exact answer, it's beyond me, but younever know, you may meet someone and it just feels right, you'll have to wait and see.
You've also got to remember, your wife loved you as much as you loved her... and if it was vice versa, wouldn't you want her to be able to find happiness??

Hope things turn out well, and since I hven't seen you before, welcome to IW.

[Epona]

Animal, that is tragic. I'm so sorry to hear that.
If you feel you're cheating by dating other women, then don't. Maybe one day you will feel ready, but right now you aren't. It's not the be-all and end-all to life. I am sure you will always love and miss Michelle. Maybe one day you will meet someone else and when you do you'll know it's right - but don't be railroaded by your friends into dating if it's not what you want. Enjoy watching your daughter grow up - you are lucky to have a child who so obviously cares about your happiness.

[Lioness]

I would say think of how you would feel if you were in her place and she in yours. Would you want her to date other men? Would you want her to find another man who will make her happy and help raise your daughter? I guess that's all I can advise...

[/)eathKiller]

well...i... would say something... but i doubt anything I say would make a differince here... but if your daughter, in her innocence, knows that she might know just what is best for you... I suppose that in her innocence she has come to learn and understand you better than even yourself. If you don't want to find another woman for yourself then do it for her, and if that fails... think about it. If you had been the one to pass away in that accident and she had been left with the same decision, do you think that she would re-marry some man? and if so, how would you feel about that?

^_^; just trying to help...

[Avatar]

Hi there, Have you ever seen the film

Jack and Sarah?

i haven't... I was just wondering

So sorry to hear about your loss... *hugs* try to move on and find new love, u won't be betraying any precious memories and feelings as she would want u to move on. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Bahamut]

I have the same feeling but I am not married... but I sure do know what you are going through...

I will give you the advice my friends have given me... MORE P.R. Seriously. Keep going and going, it doesn't have to be a date... just keep on walking and you will know by the end of the road.. I am off to doing that.. I hope to find the answer..

[khazadman]

i agree with epona.right now you just don't feel right seeing other women.forcing yourself to will only hurt you.one day you might find that you are ready to go on.but some people never do.i hope things work out for the best.

[Megabot]

I agree with Epona!!!!!

Hi there Animal i am feelig sadness....but i lost my girl friend when i was 27 yars old in an airplane crash oh my god i had SO pain and we have an little baby boy together he is now big guy 13 years an he tell all the times to get an new girl in to my live but it is no that easy i also feel i am "cheeting" bad spelling again i knove guys maby it was cheating hmm souds right now anyway if i date any other woman i dont knove but then i take my son out and meet some good friends an THERE was the nice woman i looked for she was not so damn nice but what a personality and i must say greate hair oohhh so we danced and had a good time so to day she is my BEST woman in my life for me and my boy but we will NEWER forget Katrine (My first woman) I think it is mutch bad spelling here but i hope you understand my message to Animal!!

[ 04-20-2002, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: Megabot ]