The Ritual of the Cup 'O Caffeine........

Garnet FalconDance · 02-13-2002, 09:59 AM

The Caffeinated Cross (A Javacrucian Ritual)

The following ritual was found in a musty, dusty old fragment of parchment lodged between the musty old pages of a musty, dusty old book in a musty, dusty old library whose musty, dusty old dust hadn't been disturbed by the presence of man in many a musty, dusty old century. It took a great deal of effort to translate the original writings. After months of effort and research in language libraries, it was finally determined that the weird script was not some arcane, forgotten language, but English, written by someone with a very bad case of caffeine jitters.

Another fragment indicated that this was once part of a book, entitled "The Mystery of the StarBuck".

THE CAFFEINATED CROSS Stand, facing east, holding your coffee cup, filled with the mystical brew, in your power hand, and assume a posture of wakeful alertness.

Bring your coffee cup to your forehead and intone: "LATTE"
Lower your coffee cup to the vicinity of your navel: "espresso"
Bring your coffee cup to your left shoulder: "CAPPUCHINO"
Bring it across to your right shoulder: "FRAPPUCHINO"
Clasp your coffee cup in both hands over your heart chakra: "ARABICA, OH MAN!"
Extend your arms to the sides, and intone: "BEFORE ME, MRS. OLSON" "BEHIND ME, JUAN VALDEZ" "AT MY RIGHT HAND, M J B" "AT MY LEFT HAND, THE BROTHERS HILLS" "FOR ABOUT ME SWIRLS THE COFFEE AROMA" "WITHIN ME SINGS THE CAFFEINE HIGH" Drink the coffee, in communion with the spirits of the Sacred Coffee Bean. This last step may be usefully repeated as long as you like.

Borrowed from Karl's Pagan Humor - http://annex.com/karl/occult/humor.htm

02-13-2002, 10:02 AM

You coffee people are nutso ya know that [img]smile.gif[/img]

Hey GF there issa PM for ya [img]smile.gif[/img]

Sazerac · 02-13-2002, 12:46 PM

Know any good chocolate rituals?

Garnet FalconDance · 02-13-2002, 12:50 PM

Actually........if I can dig them up, somewhere I have two, maybe three, chocolate rituals, O' Mighty Sazerac! All which must be done, of course, in the proper frame of mind under certain highly sensitive conditions......

Sazerac · 02-13-2002, 12:58 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:
Actually........if I can dig them up, somewhere I have two, maybe three, chocolate rituals, O' Mighty Sazerac! All which must be done, of course, in the proper frame of mind under certain highly sensitive conditions......

Oh, I can just imagine! I wait with anticipation, m'lady!

02-13-2002, 09:59 AM	#1
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 61 Posts: 1,443	The Caffeinated Cross (A Javacrucian Ritual) The following ritual was found in a musty, dusty old fragment of parchment lodged between the musty old pages of a musty, dusty old book in a musty, dusty old library whose musty, dusty old dust hadn't been disturbed by the presence of man in many a musty, dusty old century. It took a great deal of effort to translate the original writings. After months of effort and research in language libraries, it was finally determined that the weird script was not some arcane, forgotten language, but English, written by someone with a very bad case of caffeine jitters. Another fragment indicated that this was once part of a book, entitled "The Mystery of the StarBuck". THE CAFFEINATED CROSS Stand, facing east, holding your coffee cup, filled with the mystical brew, in your power hand, and assume a posture of wakeful alertness. Bring your coffee cup to your forehead and intone: "LATTE" Lower your coffee cup to the vicinity of your navel: "espresso" Bring your coffee cup to your left shoulder: "CAPPUCHINO" Bring it across to your right shoulder: "FRAPPUCHINO" Clasp your coffee cup in both hands over your heart chakra: "ARABICA, OH MAN!" Extend your arms to the sides, and intone: "BEFORE ME, MRS. OLSON" "BEHIND ME, JUAN VALDEZ" "AT MY RIGHT HAND, M J B" "AT MY LEFT HAND, THE BROTHERS HILLS" "FOR ABOUT ME SWIRLS THE COFFEE AROMA" "WITHIN ME SINGS THE CAFFEINE HIGH" Drink the coffee, in communion with the spirits of the Sacred Coffee Bean. This last step may be usefully repeated as long as you like. Borrowed from Karl's Pagan Humor - http://annex.com/karl/occult/humor.htm __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

02-13-2002, 12:46 PM	#3
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 61 Posts: 7,387	Know any good chocolate rituals? __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."

02-13-2002, 12:50 PM	#4
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 61 Posts: 1,443	Actually........if I can dig them up, somewhere I have two, maybe three, chocolate rituals, O' Mighty Sazerac! All which must be done, of course, in the proper frame of mind under certain highly sensitive conditions...... __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

02-13-2002, 12:58 PM	#5
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 61 Posts: 7,387	quote: Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance: Actually........if I can dig them up, somewhere I have two, maybe three, chocolate rituals, O' Mighty Sazerac! All which must be done, of course, in the proper frame of mind under certain highly sensitive conditions...... Oh, I can just imagine! I wait with anticipation, m'lady! __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."

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02-13-2002, 10:02 AM	#2
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	You coffee people are nutso ya know that [img]smile.gif[/img] Hey GF there issa PM for ya [img]smile.gif[/img]

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