09-18-2001, 05:53 AM | #1 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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The European Union's head commissioners announced today that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language standard for European communications -- rather than German, which was the other option. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish ("Euro" for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! |
09-18-2001, 06:01 AM | #2 |
Very Mad Bird
Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam)
Age: 52
Posts: 9,246
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Oh this is too funny! Oh my. Hilarious Leo!
------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! |
09-18-2001, 06:19 AM | #3 |
Vampire
Join Date: April 28, 2001
Location: Cambridge
Age: 40
Posts: 3,877
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sounds good to me!
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09-18-2001, 06:32 AM | #4 |
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England
Age: 87
Posts: 2,859
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Oh, hell! I started to laugh and then I thought.... what if!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! ------------------ [This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 09-18-2001).] |
09-18-2001, 06:36 AM | #5 |
Very Mad Bird
Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam)
Age: 52
Posts: 9,246
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I did to. It vud be a very funy zing if it ocured
------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! |
09-18-2001, 07:11 AM | #6 | |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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Quote:
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09-18-2001, 10:54 AM | #7 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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omg this is terrible
image all the spelling errors i would make ------------------ |
09-18-2001, 12:26 PM | #8 | |
Red Dragon
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany
Age: 52
Posts: 1,517
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Quote:
------------------ So long ! R³ - proud to be the official spokesman for the most noble Lady Bilqis, Desert Rose of Ironworks Btw, the cow is queuing in the slaughterhouse right now ! |
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09-18-2001, 12:29 PM | #9 |
Manshoon
Join Date: August 28, 2001
Location: London(ish) England
Posts: 223
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bloody germans....
------------------ [img][ /img ][img]:1demondog:[ /img ]Platinum Fighter of ALSB |
09-18-2001, 12:30 PM | #10 |
Manshoon
Join Date: August 28, 2001
Location: London(ish) England
Posts: 223
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bugger....... that didn't really work did it??
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