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Old 09-18-2001, 05:53 AM   #1
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 35
Posts: 2,674
The European Union's head commissioners announced today that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language standard for European communications -- rather than German, which was the other option. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish ("Euro" for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased
with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
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Old 09-18-2001, 06:01 AM   #2
Yorick
Very Mad Bird
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam)
Age: 45
Posts: 9,226
Oh this is too funny! Oh my. Hilarious Leo!

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Old 09-18-2001, 06:19 AM   #3
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Vampire
 

Join Date: April 28, 2001
Location: Cambridge
Age: 34
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sounds good to me!
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Old 09-18-2001, 06:32 AM   #4
Fljotsdale
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England
Age: 80
Posts: 2,859
Oh, hell! I started to laugh and then I thought.... what if!?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

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[This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 09-18-2001).]
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Old 09-18-2001, 06:36 AM   #5
Yorick
Very Mad Bird
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam)
Age: 45
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I did to. It vud be a very funy zing if it ocured

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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!
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Old 09-18-2001, 07:11 AM   #6
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
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Quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
I did to. It vud be a very funy zing if it ocured

tell me please?? I kinda confused...
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Old 09-18-2001, 10:54 AM   #7
Rikard
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omg this is terrible
image all the spelling errors i would make

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Old 09-18-2001, 12:26 PM   #8
Ramon de Ramon y Ramon
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany
Age: 45
Posts: 1,517
Quote:
Originally posted by Rikard:
omg this is terrible
image all the spelling errors i would make
Well, you would probably be the only one who wouldn't have to make major adaptions to his spellings if that reform was ever to be adopted ...



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So long !

R³ - proud to be the official spokesman for the most noble Lady Bilqis, Desert Rose of Ironworks

Btw, the cow is queuing in the slaughterhouse right now !
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Old 09-18-2001, 12:29 PM   #9
Ed
Manshoon
 

Join Date: August 28, 2001
Location: London(ish) England
Posts: 223
bloody germans....

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[img][ /img ][img]:1demondog:[ /img ]Platinum Fighter of ALSB
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Old 09-18-2001, 12:30 PM   #10
Ed
Manshoon
 

Join Date: August 28, 2001
Location: London(ish) England
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bugger....... that didn't really work did it??
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