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Old 11-17-2000, 11:51 PM   #1
freudianslip
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Sorry, this is way off topic, but I couldn't resist; these are actual quotes from church bulletins across the country. It gave me a good laugh, I hope it does you as well.. Peace!

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

FASTING CONFERENCE. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Our youth basketball team is back in action. Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'. The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus'.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The "Over 60's Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with thanks.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".
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Old 11-18-2000, 07:11 AM   #2
Wyvern
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LOL!!!
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