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#1 |
Ironworks Moderator
![]() Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Monroe, LA
Age: 61
Posts: 7,387
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THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINERSazerac, Editor Contributing Photojournalists: Wyvern, Sauron The Many Changing Faces On The Pyramid: An UpdateToday's feature story is on the Pyramid of Lord Cet, where great changes have been taking place. Allegedly, the Incarnate Lord of All Evil has been so outraged at the gratuitous copying of his precious Gwyll weathervane, that he has had it removed and replaced with . . . well, several other designs, shall we say. The following is a transcript, recovered from the demonic hands of the Dread Lord's number one henchman, Sathius. "SATHIUS!" The bobbing head of the spirit of Cet bellowed, rocking the pyramid with its ferocious intonations. The indigo-colored demon materialized before the Master of All Evil, bowing low. "What is it you wish, oh my Lord?" Sathius inquired in his politest, most guttural accent. "Sathius! Have you seen what is occurring in this blighted land? The idiot mortals who dwell therein are making cheap replicas of my precious Gwyll Weathervane and passing them off as authentic!" "Nay, Oh Evil one, I had not noticed," spake Sathius. "If you weren't such an ox-head, you would notice such things!" Cet spat out angrily. "I will not have my personal designs made a mockery of! Oh, for to have a physical form again! I will rain blood, and hail fire, and storm poison over this filthy world! I will make them grovel! I will . . " "Yes, M'Lord, but what is to be done about the 'vane?" Sathius inquired. "Go forthwith and destroy it!" Cet ordered harshly. "Grab something...anything...one of those screeching Raptors that constantly run around my pyramid, stick a rod up its rear, and place it atop the Pyramid! Let's see if they'll dare to get close to copy THAT! See that it is done Immediately!" "Right away, M'Lord," Sathius said, and de-materialized. ![]() Photography by WyvernWithin a day, Cet began bellowing for Sathius again. "Yes, Oh Divine Ugliness?" Sathius inquired. "What need you now?" "You watch your tongue!" Cet said. "I'll have your impudence rewarded by assigning you privy duty in the Sprites' quarters! Have you SEEN what has happened? What have you wrought upon me, you blue-face, bull-headed idiot!" "Why, what is wrong?" Sathius inquired. "I brought you a raptor for your pyramid, just as you requested." "That's just what IS wrong!" Cet bellowed. "All it does all day long is twirl and shriek and drop eggs. My pyramid, my sacred tomb, is now beseiged by would-be goody-goody RANGERS trying to catch the eggs as they fall! They're desecrating the unholiness of my beloved shrine! The raptor simply won't do. Take it down immediately! Go get something. . .one of those ferocious spiders that wanders the deserts. . .Gozira, they're called. Let's see if any goody-goody, namby-pamby adventurers try to desecrate THAT! Ohhhh, I will sleet offal on this benighted realm, and precipitate. . ." "Right away, your Unholiness," Sathius sighed, and dematerialized before he had to listen to another of the Dark Pharaoh's rants. ![]() Photography by Wyvern"SATHIUSSS!!""Yes, your Atrociousness?" the blue-skinned demon asked. "You IMBECILE! You OXBRAIN! Look at what you've done to my Unholy Resting Place! The pyramid is crawling with Centaurs! They love the taste of Gozira flesh. What do you think you're DOING?" "But, your Unholiness, I..." "SILENCE, you fool! I will have you scrubbing the Mummies' wrappings with your TEETH within the week! Get rid of that blasted spider! I will not have my blessed monument trampled on by a bunch of raging horseheads!" "What do you want me to replace it with, O Your Discarnateness?" "ANYTHING! Find ANYTHING and put it up there! Just get rid of that thrice-damned GOZIRA! And blast those horsemen out of there as well." "Right away, M'Lord." Sathius' eyes had a wicked, infernal gleam to them as he left the chamber of Cet Ude D'ua Khan. ![]() Photography by SauronSATHIUSSSSS!!!!__________________________________________ So, gentle readers, anything is likely to manifest atop the Pyramid of the Dark Lord. Many seekers have made it out there, fascinated, placing bets on what will appear up there next. Keep watching for updates from the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW! -Sazerac, Editor. ------------------ Back issues of the Gael Serran Examiner now available! |
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#2 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
![]() Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: I live inside of my mind.....
Age: 54
Posts: 3,234
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ROTFLMAOPMP!!!!!
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#3 |
Ironworks Moderator
![]() Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Rural Paradise, MI
Posts: 5,701
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
Too good!!!! ![]() ------------------ ![]() |
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#4 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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I am a GSE ADDICT! Love it! Thank you Saz, Wyv and Sauron!!!
![]() Moni |
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#5 |
Elite Waterdeep Guard
![]() Join Date: March 7, 2001
Location: Holly, MI, USA
Age: 70
Posts: 4
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great fun, as always, saz
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#6 |
Dungeon Master
![]() Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: kansas city,mo.,usa
Posts: 51
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Great copy Saz.It's amazing what a twisted mind can do with a few so so pictures. I could never have created such a marvelous story.
------------------ chance favors a prepared mind |
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#7 |
Drizzt Do'Urden
![]() Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: Columbus, Ohio USA
Posts: 650
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WhooHoo!
![]() ![]() ![]() Mammawlin [This message has been edited by mammawlin (edited 04-06-2001).] |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER THIRD EDITION | Sazerac | Wizards & Warriors Forum | 18 | 09-06-2002 04:52 PM |
THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 4TH EDITION | Sazerac | Wizards & Warriors Forum | 15 | 03-19-2001 10:51 AM |
THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 7th EDITION | Sazerac | Wizards & Warriors Forum | 9 | 03-19-2001 10:47 AM |
THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 8th EDITION | Sazerac | Wizards & Warriors Forum | 15 | 03-19-2001 10:45 AM |
THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 9th EDITION | Sazerac | Wizards & Warriors Forum | 6 | 03-19-2001 10:41 AM |