By Popular Demand...We should LOVE the Kobold not hate him

[I wish my name was Baggins]

Let us think for a moment on the topic of Kobolds. Sure they are pathetic enemies who are simple to kill. Sure they rarely if ever have any booty worth taking and sure they are everywhere. But why should we hate the Kobold? Of course they are always bad guys because who among you would hire a 3 foot tall rat boy who speaks in growls and yips to work in your store or tavern? How many of you have asked the Kobold "WHY" he feels that he must shoot arrows of fire at you at every opportunity? Of course not...Why? because almost as a whole the Sword Coast is racially prejudiced against our short annoying foul smelling friends. Do not they have families to feed? Are there not young Kobolds in search of a strong male role model? Take away the Sewer King of Baldur's Gate and they are few and far between. So of course they hire themselves out to the thugs of the Sword Coast, but that is not because they are bad, but because good doesn't give them a chance. So I stand on my soapbox now and cry for reform. Talk to a Kobold...Larry wasn't that bad remember...Sponsor a local "Take a Kobold to work day". We must reach out to our small dog/rat type brethern and share this land that we call the Sword Coast. So in closing I say to you adventurers all, "Why become a hero SLAYING Kobolds when you can be a hero TO a Kobold?"

[pritchke]

Well said, now may you lead the way. I want that first fire arrow to give me a warning so I can be ready for what awaits. We well need to cast protection from fire on Mr. Baggins first as that little hobbit amuses me. Will be better that he learns the folly of his ways than be smited to ash by a Kobold's nasty fire arrow.

Adopt a Kobold he says Ho!Ho!Ho!. I almost fell over my bow upon hearing this. I would much rather have the fine task of brushing a dragons teeth ... from the inside. A round of mead for Mr. Baggins for that funny tale.
[img]graemlins/cheers.gif[/img]

[ 10-01-2002, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: pritchke ]

[Lord Brass]

This is insanity. Surely you can see that Mr Underhill? The kobold have no such "rôle models" because they are victims of an internecine society predicated by a Daarvwinist principle of strength through terror and survival of the fittest. The kobold trades on its stature and the opinion that they are small and relatively powerless, something which people are all too ready to believe. It is such irresponsible behaviour that has allowed the kobold menace to flourish in the lawless provinces between the towns and cities. Action is required, not arbitration. The kobold will not listen to reason, and feels compelled to victimize others that are seen as in positions of lesser power to themselves.

To consider integration into Faerûn society is a noble goal (sic). However, let us not put the war-chariot before the pegasus. A sweeping and intrinsic devolution of the power bloc that manifests itself in koboldian society must take place before overtures towards a full and frank dialogue can begin to take place. Inclusion into Faerûn society must address the affects on that society too. If we attempt integration, how will this affect the citizens of Beregost, Baldur's Gate or Amn? Has a study of the nature of mass immigration taken place? My select opinion would be no. Such is the nature of the political arena we live in.

In "certain" elements of Elven society, the kobold is seen as a harbinger of doom, in much the same way that a crow is to you humans. It is not for any deliberate misguidance that this is so.

Let me tell you that the Sword Coast has been plagued by such creatures for too long. Whether dialogue or incessant warfare is the answer remains within the purview of the ambassadorial attaché.

[Keraptisdm]

Lord Brass got in ahead of me. Read on.

Keraptisdm asks the Speaker of the Soapbox, Mr. Baggins, for two minutes.
"Granted. Speaker Baggins yields the box to Keraptisdm for two minutes."

We must go beyond becoming a "Hero" to the kobolds, as my distinguished commrade mentioned. We must ADOPT a kobold and integrate them into our society. If you are unable to adopt a kobold puppy, perhaps you can financially support the "Adopt a Kobold Foundation"? Donations of money, dry goods, and food are always accepted. Only by our diligent efforts and our LOVE, can these racial barriers be broken. Thank you.

Keraptisdm yields the soapbox.

[ 10-01-2002, 11:23 AM: Message edited by: Keraptisdm ]

I'll tell you why I hate kobolds. You see one on your screen, followed by...

Kobold- Attacks protagonist
Kobold- Critical Hit
Protagonist- Damage Taken (12)
Protagonist- Attacks kobold
Kobold- Damage Taken (8)
Kobold- Death

The party has gained experience: 7

Yes, that's right. Seven. Just seven pathetic experience points for a loud, annoying, yapping, critically hitting little shit

[I wish my name was Baggins]

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO

The floor is glad to hear the voice of reason from Keraptisdm. How we are all infected by those warhawks who hate our Kobold brethern. Brovo to A voice of peace understading and fellowship among all of the races of the Sword Coast.

[daan]

I think this digs deeper than we realise, though still on what some might call a superficial level. As freud once said : Ich wollte gerne ein brotchen ..
he said that because he was German , and hungry at the time.
Above and Beyond that,.. I think we resent the kobold out of sexual feelings.
I mean, lets explore this thought carefully,.. it is the thought's first time after all..
A kobold is a little smelly dog-like chap .. and you're the big hero.
And yet .. YET .. he is getting all the reproduction activity; we are choking in kobolds, they're worse than bunny's on steroids, hidden in carrots so they'll eat them .. i Doubt bunnies would voluntarely eat steroids.
Anywayz, the kobolds are doing it energizer-bunny/doggy-style, ..while the hero never gets the girl, even worse, even your very own FATHER never had sex ( he had a more original way ). So you quite simply dont have the mojo, and they have .. that's why we're killing them.

Freud just says it all doesnt he [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Lord Brass]

How can this be? Once ordinary, dare I say intelligent fellows, proselytizing on the canine qualities of the kobold. Yes, there exists a superficial similarity, but surely that is where it ends. These vermin are bipedal. We know this for fact, as the little blighters launch a fusillade of arrows at us; their actions conote the humanoid. If that is so, the kobold cannot (and I choose my words carefully) engage its own genitalia with oral stimulation. Surely this, is the envy (sic) that daan espouses. Thus, it is a fallacy, and like most things regarding this disreputable species: specious. If not manifestly spurious.

Kobolds. Just say no.

Have your say - join today and support your local branch of Kin Against Kobolds (KAK).

For nearest branch details send a reliable messanger to:

No. 3 Lower Fork Street,
Baldur's Gate,
Sword Coast,
Faerûn.

Mark FAO Rastid Koboldbiter

[ 10-01-2002, 04:27 PM: Message edited by: Lord Brass ]

[Horatio]

Very valued arguments, to be sure.
Still won't stop me putting a sword in their face though [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Rikter]

Your words touched me, and I resolved to act upon them
at the first opportunity. So my BG2 party immediately
went out in search of a kobold to take to work.

We located the kobold, but he was initially reluctant
to come to work with us. After four critical hits inflicting
48 points of damage, Aerie cast Domination on him, and
we went to work clearing a stubborn pack of Umber Hulks.

His enthusiasm seems to have plummeted since then; in truth,
he's gone kind of squishy on me and I'm having doubts about
the entire project.