Ultimate Spam E-Mail!

Attalus · 08-20-2003, 06:56 PM

This was the winner of John Derbyshire's contest on NRO to come up with the ultimate Spam e-mail. Hope ya like it:

Innocent Saleh Jombo,

Plot 22, Dry Well of Kings Ave,

Bgbuuti Blanco, Lagos.

Dear Friend, My uncle, Dr Abraham Saleh Jombo, is the Chief Urologist for the Peoples National Congress. He has developed an all-natural formula for Manhood enhancement guaranteed to put a Nigerian Nightmare in your dungarees. Unfortunately, the current civilian government is attempting to seize the millions of dollars my uncle is making with his Big Jungle John Thomas formula. This is why I am contacting you in the hopes that you might establish an account for my uncle’s money so the government may not confiscate said funds. There is only required a small transfer fee that you could readily acquire by taking advantage of today’s LOW! LOW! INTEREST RATES to refinance your home. In most cases no appraisal is necessary just your good credit. Of course my uncle who is bringing joy to millions with his Big Jungle JT would pay you a caretakers fee of up to 50% of all profits. This will come in handy for starting your home-based business providing HIGH QUALITY INKJET CARTRIDGES & LASER TONER AT DISCOUNT PRICES! Everything will be over within 7 working days. For reasons best known to me, as it also affect my office, I have decided to reach you through the internet until I get your interest indicated. I will give you a confidential phone and fax numbers for easy communication on the directives.

johnny · 08-20-2003, 07:24 PM

Urologist.... sounds like a smelly future.

Animal · 08-20-2003, 07:26 PM

You just know that a least a few people are going to take the bait.

Ladyzekke · 08-20-2003, 07:48 PM

OMG that is the lamest scam I have ever seen [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] Wow drugs, real estate financing, and ink cartridges all in one! Wwwwow!

Cloudbringer · 08-20-2003, 08:19 PM

They forgot the breast enlargement and weight reduction offers! LOLOL! Those scammers never do get smarter, just use more exclamation points!

Ladyzekke · 08-20-2003, 08:47 PM

LOL Cloudy! I liked how parts were in capital letters, to GET YOUR ATTENTION!

I'M MAKING THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS, SO THAT MEANS IT IS IMPORTANT!

[img]tongue.gif[/img]

Cloudbringer · 08-20-2003, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ladyzekke:
LOL Cloudy! I liked how parts were in capital letters, to GET YOUR ATTENTION!

I'M MAKING THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS, SO THAT MEANS IT IS IMPORTANT!

[img]tongue.gif[/img]

That's right! FOR ONLY 29.95, we'll sell you our FAMOUS pill for making your wrinkles VANISH!

Or something along those lines....we aren't responsible for loss of hair...but we do sell a great new ROGAINE-like cream for only $9.99 a bottle!

LOLOL!

True_Moose · 08-20-2003, 09:12 PM

No breast enlargement...pff, I get at least 1 of those a day, and (last time I checked) I'm man. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Too bad something as expertly crafted as this would instantly find my trash bin.

john · 08-20-2003, 09:15 PM

Sounds like those smart pills I bought last wk.After two days I went to get my money back cause I told the seller"They taste like rabbit shit" he simply told me that they were allready working!!

robo donkey · 08-21-2003, 12:09 PM

This is a bit off topic, but related. If anyone is getting really hacked off with spam, try a program called mailwasher. It lets you view e-mails before you download them and then bounce junk back to the source. The source thinks your e-mail doesnt work and removes you from their mailing list (at least thats the theory). You can download it -

http://www.mailwasher.net/download/index.php?ver=19

08-20-2003, 06:56 PM	#1
Attalus Symbol of Bane Join Date: November 26, 2001 Location: Texas Age: 75 Posts: 8,167	This was the winner of John Derbyshire's contest on NRO to come up with the ultimate Spam e-mail. Hope ya like it: Innocent Saleh Jombo, Plot 22, Dry Well of Kings Ave, Bgbuuti Blanco, Lagos. Dear Friend, My uncle, Dr Abraham Saleh Jombo, is the Chief Urologist for the Peoples National Congress. He has developed an all-natural formula for Manhood enhancement guaranteed to put a Nigerian Nightmare in your dungarees. Unfortunately, the current civilian government is attempting to seize the millions of dollars my uncle is making with his Big Jungle John Thomas formula. This is why I am contacting you in the hopes that you might establish an account for my uncle’s money so the government may not confiscate said funds. There is only required a small transfer fee that you could readily acquire by taking advantage of today’s LOW! LOW! INTEREST RATES to refinance your home. In most cases no appraisal is necessary just your good credit. Of course my uncle who is bringing joy to millions with his Big Jungle JT would pay you a caretakers fee of up to 50% of all profits. This will come in handy for starting your home-based business providing HIGH QUALITY INKJET CARTRIDGES & LASER TONER AT DISCOUNT PRICES! Everything will be over within 7 working days. For reasons best known to me, as it also affect my office, I have decided to reach you through the internet until I get your interest indicated. I will give you a confidential phone and fax numbers for easy communication on the directives. __________________ Even Heroes sometimes fail...

08-20-2003, 07:24 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	Urologist.... sounds like a smelly future. __________________

08-20-2003, 07:26 PM	#3
Animal Gold Dragon Join Date: March 29, 2002 Location: Canada Age: 51 Posts: 2,534	You just know that a least a few people are going to take the bait. __________________ It\'s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye...then it becomes a sport.<br /> [img]\"http://members.shaw.ca/mtholdings/bsmeter.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

08-20-2003, 07:48 PM	#4
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	OMG that is the lamest scam I have ever seen [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] Wow drugs, real estate financing, and ink cartridges all in one! Wwwwow! __________________ Reality Show Recaps

08-20-2003, 08:19 PM	#5
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	They forgot the breast enlargement and weight reduction offers! LOLOL! Those scammers never do get smarter, just use more exclamation points! __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

08-20-2003, 08:47 PM	#6
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	LOL Cloudy! I liked how parts were in capital letters, to GET YOUR ATTENTION! I'M MAKING THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS, SO THAT MEANS IT IS IMPORTANT! [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ Reality Show Recaps

08-20-2003, 09:12 PM	#8
True_Moose Gold Dragon Join Date: June 18, 2002 Location: Wolfville, NS / Calgary, AB Age: 36 Posts: 2,563	No breast enlargement...pff, I get at least 1 of those a day, and (last time I checked) I'm man. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Too bad something as expertly crafted as this would instantly find my trash bin. __________________ [img]\"http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f13/true_moose/Siggy.jpg\" alt=\" - \" />

08-20-2003, 09:15 PM	#9
john Drizzt Do'Urden Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: central coast of Ca. Age: 77 Posts: 653	Sounds like those smart pills I bought last wk.After two days I went to get my money back cause I told the seller"They taste like rabbit shit" he simply told me that they were allready working!! __________________ John

08-21-2003, 12:09 PM	#10
robo donkey Manshoon Join Date: January 18, 2002 Location: North Yorkshire, England Age: 37 Posts: 180	This is a bit off topic, but related. If anyone is getting really hacked off with spam, try a program called mailwasher. It lets you view e-mails before you download them and then bounce junk back to the source. The source thinks your e-mail doesnt work and removes you from their mailing list (at least thats the theory). You can download it - http://www.mailwasher.net/download/index.php?ver=19

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