Puns and more puns. Mostly old and mostly bad...

Arvon · 11-02-2002, 02:45 PM

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
Corduroy pillows are making headlines. "Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery." A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
I fired my masseuse today; she rubbed me the wrong way. My wife really likes to make pottery, but It's Just kiln time. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax; I also worked in a blanket factory, but it folded.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you, well, red. Without geometry, life is pointless. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
In appreciation of the care Picabo Street received when she was injured, the skier donated money to build a new Intensive Care Unit at the local hospital in Park City,UT. to be named the "Picabo I.C.U."

True_Moose · 11-02-2002, 02:48 PM

OMG, overload of bad puns. AHHHH! [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img]

antryg · 11-02-2002, 02:49 PM

Great work Arvon. Just remember "A pun is a terrible thing to waste."

Kaltia · 11-02-2002, 02:54 PM

ARGH! OVERDOSE! ROFL! *collapses*

Ronn_Bman · 11-02-2002, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Punny or not, that is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth....lol.

John D Harris · 11-02-2002, 07:34 PM

Allright wise guy I see you're trying to be punny.

Charean · 11-02-2002, 07:38 PM

Excellent, excellent!! The takeover of the world is coming along nicely, now....

/)eathKiller · 11-02-2002, 08:12 PM

i had to drive thee nails into my skull just to finish readin that... anybody got like one of those industrial strenghte nail removers?

11-02-2002, 02:45 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	WHAT'S SO FUNNY? Corduroy pillows are making headlines. "Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery." A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? I fired my masseuse today; she rubbed me the wrong way. My wife really likes to make pottery, but It's Just kiln time. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax; I also worked in a blanket factory, but it folded. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you, well, red. Without geometry, life is pointless. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? In appreciation of the care Picabo Street received when she was injured, the skier donated money to build a new Intensive Care Unit at the local hospital in Park City,UT. to be named the "Picabo I.C.U." __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

11-02-2002, 02:48 PM	#2
True_Moose Gold Dragon Join Date: June 18, 2002 Location: Wolfville, NS / Calgary, AB Age: 36 Posts: 2,563	OMG, overload of bad puns. AHHHH! [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] __________________ [img]\"http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f13/true_moose/Siggy.jpg\" alt=\" - \" />

11-02-2002, 02:49 PM	#3
antryg Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2002 Location: Dallas, Tx. Age: 21 Posts: 1,765	Great work Arvon. Just remember "A pun is a terrible thing to waste." __________________

11-02-2002, 07:34 PM	#6
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	Allright wise guy I see you're trying to be punny. __________________ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts

11-02-2002, 07:38 PM	#7
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	Excellent, excellent!! The takeover of the world is coming along nicely, now.... __________________ And then there were 6.

11-02-2002, 02:54 PM	#4
Kaltia Jack Burton Join Date: May 2, 2002 Location: Canterbury, England Age: 36 Posts: 5,817	ARGH! OVERDOSE! ROFL! collapses

11-02-2002, 08:12 PM	#8
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 38 Posts: 6,043	i had to drive thee nails into my skull just to finish readin that... anybody got like one of those industrial strenghte nail removers? __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Oh NO More PUNS...RUN	Arvon	General Discussion	3	07-10-2006 05:57 PM
Some (bad) puns	Sir Goulum	General Discussion	9	10-23-2005 11:31 AM
Puns By The Bunch!	Arvon	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	3	09-03-2003 05:16 PM
bad puns	Morgeruat	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	15	02-08-2003 04:42 PM
GAG More Puns	Arvon	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	6	09-24-2002 07:25 PM