What NOT To Say To A Police Officer!

Jorath Calar · 01-20-2003, 05:42 AM

Unless you want to be beaten up of course

1. Sure I'll get my license, but can you hold my beer?

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in..

3. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed.....have you been eating doughnuts?"

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay good, just so one of us does..

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer..

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic... Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!

11. You are a public Servant... Get me a glass of water.

WillowIX · 01-20-2003, 07:01 AM

LLAO! Seen them before but they´re still very funny!

I have to try out number 6 sometime.

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 01-20-2003, 07:43 AM

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] 11's one of the funniest I think [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Sir Krustin · 01-20-2003, 07:45 AM

Reminds me of Chris Rocks' How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police

The Hunter of Jahanna · 01-20-2003, 09:38 AM

here are a few more taken from here--> www.packingheat.com

Quote:

Attempting to bribe the cop with a fresh banana. Extra points if you suck on it suggestively, especially if you're both men.

Asking the cop how he could possibly have got you on radar when his gargantuan gut must interfere with the radar waves.

So which one of you is the gay cop that watches the others in the locker room?

I don't think it's right when people call you 'pigs', you remind me more of jiggling mountains of shit with eyes.

Your priest touched you when you were a boy, didn't he?

Wow, look at the crowd. When do you all break into showtunes and sniff each other's asses?

I've got a DNA sample for you right here (best said while unzipping pants).

So when do you do 'good cop, bad cop'? Or are you all going to play the stupid cop tonight?

All we need is a construction worker, an Indian and a motorcycle guy and we've got ourselves a chorus line!

9_1_6 · 01-20-2003, 10:01 AM

They were all good, but here are my 3 favourites:
8 was funny and true

heheheheh
9 is just very dumb to say
10 was funny

Lavindathar · 01-20-2003, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jorath Calar:
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic... Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!

These two are exceptionally funny!

Charlie · 01-20-2003, 03:15 PM

What NOT To Say To A Police Officer!...

Of course I'm drunk, did you think I was a stunt driver?

I had to drive, I was far too drunk to walk

It was me

I'm Guilty

I want me mum

[ 01-20-2003, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: Charlie ]

Lavindathar · 01-20-2003, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Charlie:

I had to drive, I was far too drunk to walk

Like it Like it!

Jorath Calar · 01-21-2003, 03:03 AM

"It wasn't me, it was the one armed man" (extra points for doing it in a bad Jim Carrey impression from Mask)... [img]smile.gif[/img]

01-20-2003, 07:01 AM	#2
WillowIX Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2001 Location: By a big blue lake, Canada Age: 50 Posts: 4,628	LLAO! Seen them before but they´re still very funny! I have to try out number 6 sometime. __________________ Confuzzled by nature.

01-20-2003, 07:45 AM	#4
Sir Krustin Symbol of Cyric Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Peterborough, ON, CANADA Age: 60 Posts: 1,394	Reminds me of Chris Rocks' How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police __________________ If I say \"Eject!\" and you say \"Huh?\" - you\'ll be talking to yourself! - Maj. Bannister, <b>Steel Tiger</b>

01-20-2003, 10:01 AM	#6
9_1_6 Elminster Join Date: November 2, 2002 Location: ♣♣♣ Age: 38 Posts: 457	They were all good, but here are my 3 favourites: 8 was funny and true heheheheh 9 is just very dumb to say 10 was funny __________________ <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> 9_1_6 <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[dancing]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/dancing.gif\" /> <br />LIQUID STICK PEOPLE!

01-20-2003, 03:15 PM	#8
Charlie Lord Ao Join Date: March 3, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 30 Posts: 2,021	What NOT To Say To A Police Officer!... Of course I'm drunk, did you think I was a stunt driver? I had to drive, I was far too drunk to walk It was me I'm Guilty I want me mum [ 01-20-2003, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: Charlie ] __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/england1.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br />One Love, Peace. [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/pissr.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/piss.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

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01-20-2003, 05:42 AM	#1
Jorath Calar Harper Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: Iceland Posts: 4,706	Unless you want to be beaten up of course 1. Sure I'll get my license, but can you hold my beer? 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.. 3. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed.....have you been eating doughnuts?" 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay good, just so one of us does.. 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic... Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are! 11. You are a public Servant... Get me a glass of water.

01-20-2003, 07:43 AM	#3
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 39 Posts: 7,029	[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] 11's one of the funniest I think [img]tongue.gif[/img]

01-21-2003, 03:03 AM	#10
Jorath Calar Harper Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: Iceland Posts: 4,706	"It wasn't me, it was the one armed man" (extra points for doing it in a bad Jim Carrey impression from Mask)... [img]smile.gif[/img]

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