Forgotten Realm jokes (PG13)

[shadowhound]

scary isnt it

[Dron_Cah]

Bows head in shame.

[Landon Contressior]

I didnt get the dwarf Joke, "there are two of them" ? it just didnt make sence to me however im pretty dence, so pay no mind to me.

[krunchyfrogg]

@ Landon: It's emphasizing how tough Dwarves are.

@ Illumina: I feel the same way. Great one, shadowhound!

[Bungleau]

Originally posted by shadowhound: Brother Drewfius and Brother Tyronius got into an argument over a difference in theological interpretation. They had never gotten along, and within a few minutes the argument had turned into a fight. They started out exchanging punches but soon they each had a weapon in hand. Just then, Brother Francis comes into the room and says "Brothers, stop this at once; this fight is pointless." "It better be," said Tyronius, "We're both Clerics."

Dollar fine, shadowhound... that's the penalty for a bad pun like that. Consider it your punishment....

[Landon Contressior]

I'm Sorry, but i didnt find that Joke about the dwaves very funny. you could have gottenthe same reaction out of me by saying "dwarves are strong!" maybe its just me, but i didn't laugh. sorry

[InjaYew]

A Dwarf runs into a camp of Orcs and makes a face, hollers, "You can't catch me!" and runs off. The Orcs chase him into a cave and the first three or four run in after him. There are sounds of battle, and the next group of Orcs come up to the cave, prepared to join the fun. One of the Orcs that went into the cave staggers out, battered and bloody. "Stop, don't go in!" he shouts. "It's a trap. THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!"

What did Pippin do when he got drunk?
He began to feel Merry

[Marty4]

Top Ten Spells Not Worth Memorizing

10. Tasha's Uncontrollable Flatulence

9. Tasha's Uncontrollable Bladder

8. Protection from Elvis, 10' Radius

7. Power Word, Smirk

6. Legend Lore, Extended Dance Mix

5. Invisibility to Inanimate Objects.

4. Hold Self

3. Delayed Blast Flatulence

2. Charm Undead (X rated version)

1. Bigby's Insulting Hand (the second finger is rather prominent)

I got these off the internet, so no, I am not this funny.

[wellard]

#1 and #4 both cracked me up Marty4. very good

And [img]graemlins/whackya.gif[/img] for Shadowhound [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Jorath Calar]

Her are some old ones... [img]smile.gif[/img]

Signs You May Live Next To An Obsessed D&D Player

10. Keeps trying to polymorph your parakeet
9. His car has more Wisconsin bumper stickers than paint
8. Refuses to lend you his tools, because it would violate his alignment
7. Refers to his church as "the village temple"
6. Threatens to cast fireballs at your barking dog
5. When his garage door opens, it makes a drawbridge sound
4. Always coming over to borrow a cup of "type A" poison
3. Says Wizards of the Coast are "real bitchin' surfer dudes"
2. Continues to play the game, even though he has a girlfriend
1. He collects donations weekly to "buy TSR back"


Things Overheard at Gen Con '04

10. "I just got Gygax to autograph my butt!"
9. "I think you're right, the hot chicks hang out at the X-Files convention."
8. "OK, a Lich, a Psionic, and a Half-Orc walk into a bar...."
7. "But Ma -- you said I could have real sword when I turned 40!"
6. "Oh darn, those Ogres are stuck in the door again."
5. "OK, men, cast your zit-removal spells, and let's go get us some chicks."
4. "Have you seen my girlfriend? I left her right here only 14 hours ago...."
3. "No, really, Fibercon is better than Metamucil."
2. "Wow! Two girls! That's twice as many as we had at the last convention!"
1. "Live long and purchase."