Should I get involved with this or... - Page 2

The Hunter of Jahanna · 06-18-2002, 07:37 PM

I would say it depended on who you were better friends with. Some of my friends have cheated on whom ever they were dateing at one time or another. I didnt see any point in telling on them because as far as I was concerned , your friends girlfriend is your friends girlfriend. Just because she is getting all cozy with your friend doesnt mean you owe her loyalty , truth or in some cases , even the time of day.

Good friends are hard to come by , girlfriends arent.

Sir Goulum · 06-18-2002, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lord Shield:
well why doesn't he discuss it with the girl concerned?

does she want to continue like that?

But, if she is having an affair, then she would obviously want to continue. Otherwise she would not have wanted to start it in the first place

Harkoliar · 06-18-2002, 09:00 PM

its a double edge sword. no matter what one side MIGHT get hurt... but i guess you better leave it to your conscience and advice fellow IW are giving you [img]smile.gif[/img]

Sir Goulum · 06-18-2002, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Harkoliar:
its a double edge sword. no matter what one side MIGHT get hurt... but i guess you better leave it to your conscience and advice fellow IW are giving you [img]smile.gif[/img]

I think it is an almost certainty that one side will get hurt. Eventually, if you tell your friend or not that his wife or girlfriend or whatever is having an affair, he's gonna find out and would be mad at you as well as your other friend and his wife/girlfriend because you never told him. I think it would be best to tell your friend that is clueless.

mistral4543 · 06-18-2002, 09:14 PM

Yup, I would tell my clueless friend about it if the other two do not come clean within a short period of time (I suspect my conscience would give me no peace until I got the burden off my chest).

/)eathKiller · 06-18-2002, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jorath Calar:
U...anyone know of any desert islands that I could move to?

YES, Infact, I do! *takes another sip of Dr. Pepper* it's not such a bad place once you get used to it

*poitns to location thingy under his sig* Yup its absolutley beautifll 365 days a year, its dry, and then its wet, and while it's wet it's still dry! Its just wonderfull, really

*takes another sip of Dr. Pepper* This soda is 4 months past its experation date...But I can BARLEY TELL! YUP! Great! Just great! Sure it has those little perks but you get used it after a while honest! Ah and now i'm just repeating myself...

Deathcow · 06-18-2002, 10:25 PM

darn conscience is getting the best of you...

you told him he could confide in you, which is the important thing, so that rules out going to your mutual friend first

id suggest either:
1. tell him to break off the affair
2. pressure him to confess to the mutual friend
3. talk to the girl about it
4. do nothing, its none of your business

not an easy choice, i think i would go with #1 or #2

khazadman · 06-18-2002, 11:23 PM

doesn't sound like the kind of guy you can trust.so i'd tell him to fess up or you'll let the other guy know all about what they are doing.

mistral4543 · 06-18-2002, 11:36 PM

Hmm... on re-reading the post...

Although he asked if he could confide in you and you agreed, that was because you had no idea that he was engaging in some dubious activities. You can't be expected to keep to your word based on the vague request he made, can you?

In any case, I am not in favour of telling him that you will inform the clueless friend. Maybe I'm paranoid here, but wouldn't that open you to a rather dangerous situation? He could try a million tricks to silence you...

What I would do is to point out that the truth will be out sooner or later, so he might as well admit his mistake. Then, if he does not take any action, I would go straight to the other friend and tell on him.

Epona · 06-19-2002, 06:00 AM

I'm going to offer a different viewpoint than the others.

Do nothing. It is not your problem, you have done nothing wrong. If you tell the husband, you risk losing both your friends - the one who confided in you (it would be a betrayal to break that confidence) and the husband you told - IMO you rarely get thanked for letting on to something like that.

I would however talk to the friend that confided in you, but don't make any ultimatums. It really isn't your problem, don't take it too much to heart.

06-18-2002, 07:37 PM	#11
The Hunter of Jahanna Emerald Dragon Join Date: September 25, 2001 Location: NY , NY Age: 64 Posts: 960	I would say it depended on who you were better friends with. Some of my friends have cheated on whom ever they were dateing at one time or another. I didnt see any point in telling on them because as far as I was concerned , your friends girlfriend is your friends girlfriend. Just because she is getting all cozy with your friend doesnt mean you owe her loyalty , truth or in some cases , even the time of day. Good friends are hard to come by , girlfriends arent. __________________ \"How much do I love you?? I\'ll tell you one thing, it\'d be a whole hell of a lot more if you stopped nagging me and made me a friggin sandwich.\"

06-18-2002, 09:00 PM	#13
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 42 Posts: 5,556	its a double edge sword. no matter what one side MIGHT get hurt... but i guess you better leave it to your conscience and advice fellow IW are giving you [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ Catch me if you can..

06-19-2002, 06:00 AM	#20
Epona Zartan Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 54 Posts: 5,164	I'm going to offer a different viewpoint than the others. Do nothing. It is not your problem, you have done nothing wrong. If you tell the husband, you risk losing both your friends - the one who confided in you (it would be a betrayal to break that confidence) and the husband you told - IMO you rarely get thanked for letting on to something like that. I would however talk to the friend that confided in you, but don't make any ultimatums. It really isn't your problem, don't take it too much to heart. __________________ [img]\"http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/epona.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

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06-18-2002, 09:14 PM	#15
mistral4543 Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 5, 2001 Location: House of Freelight Age: 49 Posts: 3,159	Yup, I would tell my clueless friend about it if the other two do not come clean within a short period of time (I suspect my conscience would give me no peace until I got the burden off my chest).

06-18-2002, 10:25 PM	#17
Deathcow Elminster Join Date: January 24, 2002 Location: Virginia Beach Age: 41 Posts: 467	darn conscience is getting the best of you... you told him he could confide in you, which is the important thing, so that rules out going to your mutual friend first id suggest either: 1. tell him to break off the affair 2. pressure him to confess to the mutual friend 3. talk to the girl about it 4. do nothing, its none of your business not an easy choice, i think i would go with #1 or #2

06-18-2002, 11:23 PM	#18
khazadman User suspended until [Feb13] Join Date: December 6, 2001 Location: the south side of ol virginny Age: 64 Posts: 1,172	doesn't sound like the kind of guy you can trust.so i'd tell him to fess up or you'll let the other guy know all about what they are doing.

06-18-2002, 11:36 PM	#19
mistral4543 Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 5, 2001 Location: House of Freelight Age: 49 Posts: 3,159	Hmm... on re-reading the post... Although he asked if he could confide in you and you agreed, that was because you had no idea that he was engaging in some dubious activities. You can't be expected to keep to your word based on the vague request he made, can you? In any case, I am not in favour of telling him that you will inform the clueless friend. Maybe I'm paranoid here, but wouldn't that open you to a rather dangerous situation? He could try a million tricks to silence you... What I would do is to point out that the truth will be out sooner or later, so he might as well admit his mistake. Then, if he does not take any action, I would go straight to the other friend and tell on him.

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