What if your significant other got this in the mail...

[The Hunter of Jahanna]

Hunter, that if your wife voluntarily shared that letter with you, she's showing you how much you can trust her!

You can say that again. Trusting her wasnt realy the issue as much as where did this guy come up with the notion that it was o.k. to send something like this in the first place. To me it is a little bit like some stranger rubbing up against her at a nightclub. Kind of like what were they thinking and what did they expect would happen.

[Harkoliar]

Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I trust my wife to do the right thing -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good, and this is exactly why you should not be too upset. If you trust her and if the love between you two is solid as a rock, then she will turn down this jerk and this won't go any further. Now if he just made this as a joke, go and burn his car then say it was a joke too

i trust my wife (if i will have one in the future) to do the right thing. if she doesnt it could mean two things. im not good enough for her or she is not good enough for me... to make things simple but there are simply a million variables that could also affect the equation of love.

[Irongrinder]

It's probably a little late now, but I would be upset too, not flip out as it always does more harm then healing. Ok, your wife is definatly not the problem as she showed you the letter, but I would definatly be pissed on that guy for his sick joke or intentions.

I really like Cerek's problem solving. It makes the guy speacheless right away...ofcourse burning his house down isn't a bad idea either

[johnny]

Let's just say i would be very interrested in the person who mailed the card. And when i found out, i'd send him a little card of my own.

[Elif Godson]

Aye Cloudy, we worked it out jes fine and you are right, communication is the key in everything. When the open lines break down, one begins to wonder what is going on. Now she has a bad habit of giving me way to much information, hehe. It's all good. Sorry Hunter, didnt mean to divert your thread.

[quietman1920]

I'm not going to disagree with anything said, but I will add this: There is a person of questionable character who has stalked your wife (for whatever reason) to your house. As a security measure (like slipping a can of mace into her purse) you should both agree that she
~
1) Change screen her name.
While deceptively simple, this can occasionally throw Jerks off the scent. the profile should have Nothing that would link her to the old SN and perhaps even some wrong info to throw him off.

2) Drop questionable contacts from her friends list.
This BOZO could be using more than one identity and track your wife this way. This is hard, but if you don't, he'll chase her forever.

3) Make no comment or reaction to the stalker (Its what he wants, lets not give it to him).
OK...I'm extreme here, but here are my views: If you Beat the Hell out of him, he gets healed & you get jailed. At that point, who's there to protect your wife? And as much as you fantasize about killing him, if you do, you Will be caught and both your lives will be ruined. Its best to cut all ties & ignore the jerk.

4) Keep a file on any and all correspondence Mr Jerk sends you. Keep a copy of that file at work or in a safety deposit box. If El Jerko keeps it up, file a restraining order through the courts.

5) Should the Jerk enter your house and you catch him, don't let him get out the door alive, all bets are off. He was a stalker who broke in and attacked you; no court will convict you. Plus, if he's willing to step over that line, no one in your household is safe.

Look, I sincerely hope I'm over reacting here. Maybe some nervous laughter is in order (I don't know the guy who sent the card). I'm just posting so that if he does take it that far, you can play some heads-up ball.

Best Wishes & Good Luck

[Animal]

If you trust your wife (you should, your married) then you really have nothing to worry about, she'll take care of it herself. I'm quite sure if there was something to be concerned about, you would have never seen it.

[Bungleau]

Boy, oh boy...

A couple of thoughts came to mind as I reread this thread. In no particular order...

... Trolls grow bigger when fed. React repeatedly to the bozo, and he'll enjoy the attention, particularly if he is a bozo. As I learned years ago in group homes, bad attention is better than no attention.

... Documentation is your best friend. Writing down dates and times and keeping paperwork is one of the best ways to ensure that if there's a disagreement that the justice department has to settle later, you'll be well-armed.

... Camouflage is useful. Changing screen names, logons, and similar things may be an advantageous step, if only to protect against future activity.

... Threats are only useful if you intend to carry them out. If you intend to meet the bozo and rearrange his body parts to look like a Picasso castoff, then let him know (but not via methods that leave tracks, like emails, PMs, and posts). If you're not willing to do it, don't threaten it. Do you want your bluff called?

... Another possibility is to contact the moderators at Live Journal to see about deactivating or isolating his account there. Of course, that might just amount to troll-baiting, but it ought to be considered.

Sheesh. The levels of craziness some people can sink to...

*B*

[Marikai]

Do not over-react... it could be something completely different! hmm.... i dunno what to think of it really...

Marikai

[harleyquinn]

To add to the list of suggestions:
Learn from this lesson, never give out your address to people you don't know well, because of these types of things happening. Next time if your wife wants to do some type of exchange or something, either do it online, or don't do it at all. It may be one thing to give your personal information to someone you've come to know well, it's another to just pass it along to someone simply because you're on the same online group.