How To Be An Adventurer

Attalus · 12-28-2002, 03:22 PM

LOL, I found this book at the Black Raven Monastery in IWD II. Thought I'd share.

How To Be An Adventurer

This ludicrously huge and heavy book - more a compilation of volumes in a single binding than anything else - claims to be an extensive manual in the "fine art of Adventuring." It's many chapters include:

-Henchmen: loyal companions or seedy pack mules?
-MAKING YOUR KIT WORK FOR *YOU*.
-101 uses for a 10' pole
-Catapaults: Yes, that's as far as it shoots!
-Getting the most out of your party's thief
-Today's tinderbox - it's not just for lighting torches anymore.
-Dungeons to tackle:Stinky Pieter's Hall o' Poorly Guarded Gold; The Caves of Soundly Sleeping Monsters; Archmage "Loose-Bowels" Wozley the Milksop's Enchanted Item Warehouse; The Wooden Citadel of Darmos the Old and Crippled
-Dungeons to Avoid Like the Crotch-Rot: The Iron Fortress of Biodaxx, the Devourer of Souls; Daminara the Erinyes' Nine-Layered Brothel of Violent Emasculation (No slaking...or slating...allowed); The Crimson Hell-Pit Of One Billion Miserable Deaths; and more!
-Your lantern and you
-Twelve Uses for Twelve Iron Spikes
-99 Uses for that little hammer that comes with Twelve Iron Spikes
-Face it, you're actually "Neutral Evil"
-The King's Lovely Daughter: Look, But Don't Touch
-Don't put your hand in that dark hole!

And over eighty more information-packed chapters covering all aspects of adventuring from hoarding to spell-castingand bold heroics to arse-saving cowardice.

Ladyzekke · 12-28-2002, 04:17 PM

ROTFL Attalus! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 12-28-2002, 04:25 PM

*shakes head in an amused manner*

"-Getting the most out of your party's thief" easy - hold him by his ankels and shake him til everything falls out [img]tongue.gif[/img]

/)eathKiller · 12-28-2002, 04:55 PM

ROTFLMAO that's great!

SomeGuy · 12-28-2002, 05:10 PM

LOL I remember finding that book.Very funny.

Sever · 12-30-2002, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Attalus:
Daminara the Erinyes' Nine-Layered Brothel of Violent Emasculation (No slaking...or slating...allowed[/QB]

[img]graemlins/1ponder.gif[/img]

Thanks man. Nearly forgot to renew my membership.

Piestrider · 12-30-2002, 11:34 PM

They should rename the book from "How To Be An Adventurer" to "How To Buy One Copy of A Book Called How To Be An Adventurer And Then Reimport It In To The Game Six Times And Level Your Party Up"

Luvian · 12-31-2002, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Piestrider:
They should rename the book from "How To Be An Adventurer" to "How To Buy One Copy of A Book Called How To Be An Adventurer And Then Reimport It In To The Game Six Times And Level Your Party Up"

You might as well use the CLUAConsole to raise your xp, it's faster. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

dragon_lord · 12-31-2002, 03:05 AM

How could they forget:
Yes, that window is in fact a Door! - The secrets of finding area exits (its a bg2 thing)

12-28-2002, 03:22 PM	#1
Attalus Symbol of Bane Join Date: November 26, 2001 Location: Texas Age: 76 Posts: 8,167	LOL, I found this book at the Black Raven Monastery in IWD II. Thought I'd share. How To Be An Adventurer This ludicrously huge and heavy book - more a compilation of volumes in a single binding than anything else - claims to be an extensive manual in the "fine art of Adventuring." It's many chapters include: -Henchmen: loyal companions or seedy pack mules? -MAKING YOUR KIT WORK FOR YOU. -101 uses for a 10' pole -Catapaults: Yes, that's as far as it shoots! -Getting the most out of your party's thief -Today's tinderbox - it's not just for lighting torches anymore. -Dungeons to tackle:Stinky Pieter's Hall o' Poorly Guarded Gold; The Caves of Soundly Sleeping Monsters; Archmage "Loose-Bowels" Wozley the Milksop's Enchanted Item Warehouse; The Wooden Citadel of Darmos the Old and Crippled -Dungeons to Avoid Like the Crotch-Rot: The Iron Fortress of Biodaxx, the Devourer of Souls; Daminara the Erinyes' Nine-Layered Brothel of Violent Emasculation (No slaking...or slating...allowed); The Crimson Hell-Pit Of One Billion Miserable Deaths; and more! -Your lantern and you -Twelve Uses for Twelve Iron Spikes -99 Uses for that little hammer that comes with Twelve Iron Spikes -Face it, you're actually "Neutral Evil" -The King's Lovely Daughter: Look, But Don't Touch -Don't put your hand in that dark hole! And over eighty more information-packed chapters covering all aspects of adventuring from hoarding to spell-castingand bold heroics to arse-saving cowardice. __________________ Even Heroes sometimes fail...

12-28-2002, 04:17 PM	#2
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 58 Posts: 9,005	ROTFL Attalus! [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ Reality Show Recaps

12-28-2002, 04:55 PM	#4
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 39 Posts: 6,043	ROTFLMAO that's great! __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

12-28-2002, 05:10 PM	#5
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 34 Posts: 4,238	LOL I remember finding that book.Very funny. __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

12-30-2002, 11:34 PM	#7
Piestrider Zhentarim Guard Join Date: February 25, 2002 Location: Waxahachie TX Age: 38 Posts: 389	They should rename the book from "How To Be An Adventurer" to "How To Buy One Copy of A Book Called How To Be An Adventurer And Then Reimport It In To The Game Six Times And Level Your Party Up" __________________ yes

12-28-2002, 04:25 PM	#3
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 40 Posts: 7,029	shakes head in an amused manner "-Getting the most out of your party's thief" easy - hold him by his ankels and shake him til everything falls out [img]tongue.gif[/img]

12-31-2002, 03:05 AM	#9
dragon_lord Elminster Join Date: June 11, 2001 Location: Western Australia Age: 39 Posts: 407	How could they forget: Yes, that window is in fact a Door! - The secrets of finding area exits (its a bg2 thing) __________________ [img]\"http://unrealpowerhouse.ozforces.com.au/lich_des.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br />[url]\"http://www.flatface.net/~itemsmart/\" target=\"_blank\">The Items Mart</a><br /><br />[url]\"http://www.flatface.net/~itemsmart/misc.htm\" target=\"_blank\">Monster Enchantments and Immunities List</a>

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