Idiots

[Arvon]

Top 8 Idiots of 2001

Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened
to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
Emergency room right away.

Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and
wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in
line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to
Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that
he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"
and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
back at Bank of America.

Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a
letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Idiot # 5
A man walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said
he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't
believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the
license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.

Idiot # 7 Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Idiot # 8 Ann Arbor:
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

Please remember that all of these people are allowed to vote

[T/-/alali]

LOL I liked the third one. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Willard]

ROTFL! Arvon, you never fail to make me laugh. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Dundee Slaytern]

I vote for #4.

LOL, I love the corner shop one

[Kaltia]

Sounds like the kind of things my brother would do
#1 was probably the most stupid I have ever seen...
Ant poison ffs....lol!

[GokuZool]

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] LOL! Very funny Arvon! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[Ar-Cunin]

Actually I don't think the driver in #4 is an idiot - sending a picture of the money was a nice touch - But as for the rest [img]graemlins/idontagreeatall.gif[/img]

[Grimslade]

Funny! I thought #1 took the idiot crown...