Dead birds ain't much fun.

Sazerac · 07-11-2002, 11:15 PM

When I got home from work this evening, a smell assailed me as soon as I opened the gate. I've been smelling something kind of funky for the last day or so, but it was getting to where it would knock an ol' mule over.

Anyway, it's the kind of smell you get from someone who hasn't brushed their teeth in about two weeks. Rank and decaying. I don't know what made me think to look, but I took a peek in our fountain, and there, floating in the murky water, is this no-telling-how-many-days-old nasty ol' dead bird.

Well, that's my wife's fountain, so running inside, I sat down and thought of what to do. I could leave it to her to clean out, but that's just nasty. Besides, I'd already had a really cr*p day and one more nasty thing wasn't going to hurt that much for me, and I wouldn't want to wish that on her.

So I go to the kitchen and get a pair of tongs (hers, not my good barbecue tongs!) saturate a paper towel with Lysol and put it over my nose, and go back outside. Trying not to gag, I pick up the rotting bird with the tongs and start running for the back alley. I must have been going about 8 MPH by the time I hit the alley. Well, I pitched that bird so far that it cleared the hill behind the alley. I could have had a career in the freakin' minor leagues, at least, if I'd ever known I could pitch like that.

I went back to the house, saturated the tongs in Lysol, and dumped them in the sink. I also resolved to have my wife swamp out the fountain this weekend, since I had done this "noble thing" about getting that freakin' thing out of there. I then sat down and laughed for about 15 minutes, more to keep from puking than anything else.

And THAT'S how my day ended. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Have a nice day!
-Sazerac

Lady Blue03 · 07-11-2002, 11:22 PM

Ewww, nasty! There you to be a dead bird right outside my balcony door not a day ago, and i was to afraid to touch it [img]tongue.gif[/img] , but my dad moved it finally, lol

GokuZool · 07-11-2002, 11:22 PM

Sounds like you had a great day

I once saw a bird just drop out of the sky and fall with a thud. It was quite sad

dizzy · 07-11-2002, 11:24 PM

lol Saz. I am sorry but that is funny man!

John D Harris · 07-11-2002, 11:37 PM

My hat's off to you Saz, you had the presence of mind not to use your good BBQ tongs

Donut · 07-12-2002, 04:06 AM

I had a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache as I read the title of this thread!

DiabloRex · 07-12-2002, 05:33 AM

The first thought that crossed my mind then I saw the name of this thread was "Saz have got a cat!"

Megabot · 07-12-2002, 05:54 AM

Maby i new topic here lol "Who has most dead birds in they`r fountain" lol maby you could grill them and forget the smell and eat them hehe!

[ 07-12-2002, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

07-12-2002, 07:19 AM

I thought Saz had taken up dissecting dead birds as a hobby and was not finding it as fun as he first thought when I read the thread title.

At least the nasty little bugger's gone - that's the main thing

Hope today turns out better for you Saz [img]smile.gif[/img]

Arnabas · 07-12-2002, 08:21 AM

I pictured Saz petting his newly-bought dead bird...
"Pretty bird... pretty bird... Polly want a cracker?"

07-11-2002, 11:15 PM	#1
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 61 Posts: 7,387	When I got home from work this evening, a smell assailed me as soon as I opened the gate. I've been smelling something kind of funky for the last day or so, but it was getting to where it would knock an ol' mule over. Anyway, it's the kind of smell you get from someone who hasn't brushed their teeth in about two weeks. Rank and decaying. I don't know what made me think to look, but I took a peek in our fountain, and there, floating in the murky water, is this no-telling-how-many-days-old nasty ol' dead bird. Well, that's my wife's fountain, so running inside, I sat down and thought of what to do. I could leave it to her to clean out, but that's just nasty. Besides, I'd already had a really cr*p day and one more nasty thing wasn't going to hurt that much for me, and I wouldn't want to wish that on her. So I go to the kitchen and get a pair of tongs (hers, not my good barbecue tongs!) saturate a paper towel with Lysol and put it over my nose, and go back outside. Trying not to gag, I pick up the rotting bird with the tongs and start running for the back alley. I must have been going about 8 MPH by the time I hit the alley. Well, I pitched that bird so far that it cleared the hill behind the alley. I could have had a career in the freakin' minor leagues, at least, if I'd ever known I could pitch like that. I went back to the house, saturated the tongs in Lysol, and dumped them in the sink. I also resolved to have my wife swamp out the fountain this weekend, since I had done this "noble thing" about getting that freakin' thing out of there. I then sat down and laughed for about 15 minutes, more to keep from puking than anything else. And THAT'S how my day ended. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Have a nice day! -Sazerac __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."

07-11-2002, 11:22 PM	#2
Lady Blue03 Xanathar Thieves Guild Join Date: January 18, 2002 Age: 39 Posts: 4,557	Ewww, nasty! There you to be a dead bird right outside my balcony door not a day ago, and i was to afraid to touch it [img]tongue.gif[/img] , but my dad moved it finally, lol __________________ Yep I'm still lurking!

07-11-2002, 11:24 PM	#4
dizzy Mephistopheles Join Date: January 18, 2002 Location: Baumholder Germany Age: 40 Posts: 1,434	lol Saz. I am sorry but that is funny man! __________________ An Army of fun. <br /><br />\"The worst thing about being in Germany in the Army is having to wakeup everyday\" <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Wink]\" src=\"wink.gif\" />

07-11-2002, 11:37 PM	#5
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 63 Posts: 3,577	My hat's off to you Saz, you had the presence of mind not to use your good BBQ tongs __________________ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts

07-12-2002, 04:06 AM	#6
Donut Jack Burton Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Airstrip One Age: 41 Posts: 5,571	I had a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache as I read the title of this thread! __________________ [img]\"http://www.wheatsheaf.freeserve.co.uk/roastspurs.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Proud member of the Axis of Upheaval<br />Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas<br />Josiah Bartlet - the best President the US never had.<br />The 1st D in the D & D Show

07-11-2002, 11:22 PM	#3
GokuZool Lord Ao Join Date: September 11, 2001 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 2,061	Sounds like you had a great day I once saw a bird just drop out of the sky and fall with a thud. It was quite sad

07-12-2002, 05:33 AM	#7
DiabloRex Elminster Join Date: July 2, 2001 Location: Denmark Posts: 460	The first thought that crossed my mind then I saw the name of this thread was "Saz have got a cat!" __________________ [url]\"http://everspoon.mine.nu\" target=\"_blank\">Everspoon Temple</a>

07-12-2002, 05:54 AM	#8
Megabot Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 18, 2003 Location: Oslo, Norway. Age: 62 Posts: 3,360	Maby i new topic here lol "Who has most dead birds in they`r fountain" lol maby you could grill them and forget the smell and eat them hehe! [ 07-12-2002, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

07-12-2002, 07:19 AM	#9
Sorcerer Alex Guest Posts: n/a	I thought Saz had taken up dissecting dead birds as a hobby and was not finding it as fun as he first thought when I read the thread title. At least the nasty little bugger's gone - that's the main thing Hope today turns out better for you Saz [img]smile.gif[/img]

07-12-2002, 08:21 AM	#10
Arnabas Baaz Draconian Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: Montreal,Quebec,Canada Age: 54 Posts: 721	I pictured Saz petting his newly-bought dead bird... "Pretty bird... pretty bird... Polly want a cracker?" __________________ Est Sularis oth Mithas

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