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Old 02-06-2002, 07:13 AM   #1
Barry the Sprout
White Dragon
 

Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 41
Posts: 1,815
A friend of mine just sent me this chain mail he wrote. IT had me in stitches so I wondered if you might want to see it. Have fun!

1. If you could be any type of bison which would you be?

2. If you were stuck in a New York ghetto with $5000 dollars of loose change at midnight, where would you like your funeral to be held?

3. What 3 things would you change about your nose?

4. If you found you were infertile how many children would you like to have?

5. Do you prefer pants or briefs for lunch?

GIRLS (OR BOYS WHO CAN DO A GOOD FALSETTO) ONLY SECTION:

6. Why do girls get to have matching chromosones?

7. If you could date one presumed dead overweight rock star from Memphis, Tenasee who would it be and why?

8. If you could visit one planet in the Solar System other than Earth which one would it be and why?

BOYS (OR TOMBOYS) ONLY SECTION:

9. Why do girls get to have matching chromosones?

10. How many people do you know from the United Arab Emirates and why?

11. If you could choose to dismantle one of the Japanese's warships which one would it be and why?

TRUE OR FALSE:

12. People called John often have other names.

13. My self esteem has been greatly raised by recieving this questionnaire.

14. I now wish to go and eat ice cream

15. I am wondering why there haven't been any questions about pancakes yet.

16. Pancakes are nice.

AND FINALLY:

17. If you could choose 3 toppings to put on a pancake what would they be and why?

Having filled in this questionnaire you now have a contractual obligation to send it to as many people as you can. If you do not pass it on you will have no sex life for 3000 years and you will also be responsible for the deaths of many trees and several small children somewhere in the universe. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

More manaical laughter is available on request.

Thank you.
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Old 02-06-2002, 07:17 AM   #2
J'aran
Mephistopheles
 

Join Date: December 12, 2001
Location: Fryslân, The Netherlands
Age: 45
Posts: 1,493
I'd like some more of that maniacal laughter please...
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Old 02-06-2002, 08:14 AM   #3
Barry the Sprout
White Dragon
 

Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 41
Posts: 1,815
quote:
Originally posted by J'aran:
I'd like some more of that maniacal laughter please...


I am afraid the maniacal laughter has to be requested in writing. And the writing in question has to be done on the third full moon of the Chinese new year, in the fresh blood of a virgin, on the hide of the rare and unique white speckled ferret. And to obtain the address you must first pass three tests...

Mwhahahahahahahaha!!!!!

(just a free sample for you, don't think it will happen often. I am not normally so generous with my maniacal laughter my Half-orc friend)
__________________
[img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe
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Old 02-06-2002, 08:25 PM   #4
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe
Hathor
 

Join Date: October 11, 2001
Location: At My Computer
Age: 44
Posts: 2,217
I passed two of the tests but got shut down on the third one, and to think that I went to all that trouble to get the blood of a virgin and the hide of a white speckled ferret too. ohh well i guess ill have to try again when the earth in the right geosynchronus orbit.
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Old 02-06-2002, 08:44 PM   #5
Sazerac
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Monroe, LA
Age: 61
Posts: 7,387
1. If you could be any type of bison which would you be?
A Bison-tennial, of course!

2. If you were stuck in a New York ghetto with $5000 dollars of loose change at midnight, where would you like your funeral to be held?
Anywhere that they could find what remained of me!

3. 3. What 3 things would you change about your nose?
The way it smells
The way it runs
The way it turns
But then, I don't want to be picky about my nose, y'know?

4. If you found you were infertile how many children would you like to have?
I'd have to calculate that in imaginary numbers.

5. Do you prefer pants or briefs for lunch?
Pants, definitely...my lunch time is already brief enough as is.

(skip...skip...skip)

9. Why do girls get to have matching chromosones?
It goes so well with their wardrobe ensemble!

10. How many people do you know from the United Arab Emirates and why?
None...how about the United Parcel Service, though?

11. If you could choose to dismantle one of the Japanese's warships which one would it be and why?
The Sosumi...it gets into a lot of litigations.

12. People called John often have other names. -TRUE They are masters of disguise!

13. My self esteem has been greatly raised by recieving this questionnaire. -FALSE Akkk...don't give me a more inflated ego than I already have!

14. I now wish to go and eat ice cream. -TRUE Always in the mood. [img]smile.gif[/img]

15. I am wondering why there haven't been any questions about pancakes yet. -TRUE Duhhh, it is the Pancake questionnaire, right?

16. Pancakes are nice. -TRUE Absolutely!

and..

17. If you could choose 3 toppings to put on a pancake what would they be and why?
Butter, Whipped Cream, and Syrup...goes great together! (oops, shouldn't have slipped out of silly mode...well, the whipped cream is great to spray at others!)

Cheers,
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Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams,
In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."
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Old 02-06-2002, 11:05 PM   #6
Moni
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
quote:
Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:
17. If you could choose 3 toppings to put on a pancake what would they be and why?

Thank you.



1) Rocks

2) Boulders

3) A load of cement

You're Welcome
[img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

EDIT: Argh I forgot to post "Why"!
Well that should be obvious!

[ 02-06-2002: Message edited by: Moni ]

 
Old 02-07-2002, 05:20 AM   #7
Barry the Sprout
White Dragon
 

Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 41
Posts: 1,815
Saz... too many bad jokes... gaaah! I am sorry, but that really made me laugh for some reason. The kind of jokes that make you want to kill your immediate family in the hope that the curse will pass over them. Very, very funny .

And Moni - this is a questionairre fit for a pancake, not the evil mastermind Dr Sheep! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

[ 02-07-2002: Message edited by: Barry the Sprout ]

__________________
[img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe
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