More questions to ponder (BK notwithstanding!)

[Sazerac]

Some more funnies. Okay, BK, I know you probably know these!


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PHILOSOPHY

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

8. If a mime swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Is there another word for synonym?

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

23. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

24. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

25. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

26. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

27. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

28. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

29. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

30. How is it possible to have a civil war?

31. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

32. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

33. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

34. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

35. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

36. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

37. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

38. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

39. Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

40. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

41. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

[Charean]

Number 37 is very popular in the Washington DC metro area...

Were some of these George Carlin? (yes, I have seen the list a few times, and were I on my own puter, I could add to them!) *insert evil laugh here*

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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Renunciate in Training
Trucker Punkin Fluffy

[Moridin]

Originally posted by Sazerac: 23. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

This is one I hadn't heard before

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Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect from alphabet soup?

No. 40 is familiar. Unfortunately, the black box is NOT made out of super-tough material. It is just put in the part of the plane least likely to be squished
.
Liked them tho

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp.
http://lordraptor0.tripod.com/index.html

[RudeDawg]

LOLSFHCSARLMSFALBP !!!

BWA HAHAHA !!!!

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[This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 06-13-2001).]

[Cloudbringer]

Saz! LOL
#1 had me ROTFL! And the answer to #9 is YES, of course.

Cloudy

(hey Saz, get yourself to Choc's Collar Quest! you need to sign in! You too RudeDawg! )

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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

[Lavindathar]

I think #27 has just become my new motto.

Now I can always defend my actions.



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[adam warlock]

loved 29 (too true) and 39 and the rest

[Row Firecam]

Most are these are from George Carlin and some other guy, I had the name but I can't for the life of me remember it...

Great though, no matter how often I see it

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Keldorn's Younger brother

[Davros]

Saz! LOL #1 had me ROTFL! And the answer to #9 is YES, of course. Cloudy

What what what - here I am, out and about, in touch with nature, wandering quietly through the forest, and STILL WRONG!!! - I disgree, can you hear me Cloudy, are you listening....... Cloudy?... Cloudy??, are you there??? Gee, how is a bloke supposed to win the smallest point if the woman refuses to listen to what......... (Davr ducks the incoming)


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