A hodge-podge RPG (experimental)

[uss]

oh, i didn`t finish yet.. i had to go. anyway:

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Barney goes over to Jar Jar and asks: "do you want free candy?" Jar Jar answers:"whatcha wantssa? meesa Jar Jar Binksa, stupidsa yellowsa pigsa!"
Barney`s eyes turn into dark red and he says with a crazy and angry voice:"Thats purple dinosaur, not yellow pig!" and summons 6 children, in order to kill Jar Jar and Company. the good guys were too weak for the children but suddenly comes out B.A. Barracus with his big knuckles and kills all the children with ease. "take that, sucka" says B.A., points his finger in Barney and starts speaking again: "You`re a fool!"
Barney looks angry and says: "you WILL die! but in time!" and vanishes.
After that scene Jar Jar looks puzzled and starts talking with a stupid voice:"Weesa shouldsa goosa aftersa himsa!Butsa beforesa weesa shouldsa beesa insa theesa townsa!"
Then an elderly hobbit looks up to them and says:"Greetings!"

[K T Ong]

To uss: I was actually going to write something featuring Barney the Dinosaur, but I guess you came first. Well, never mind. [img]smile.gif[/img] Who's B A Barracus by the way?

Also, I think it might perhaps be a good idea to work out your story by putting in a little more detail.

**************************************************

Gandalf asked B A Barracus in shock, "Did you have to kill those children?"

"If I don't kill them, they'll kill you all," replied Barracus, cracking his white knuckles.

"But they're children!" protested Luke, looking at the bodies of the children.

"So?" snapped Barracus. "Are you going to just sit down and let them kids bash your brains in? Yes, I know, they're kids, but they're mind-controlled by that Dinosaur, and when you're mind-controlled by him, it's just too bad, you're a goner. You can never regain yourself anymore, you'll forever remain his slave. We had no choice, we had to kill those kids."

"I refuse to believe it," said Gandalf. "Surely there's got to be some way to break the terrible hold you claim that vile creature has on those poor children. And did you have to kill them? Couldn't we do something like just knock them unconscious or paralyse them instead? Who or what is that vile creature anyway? Where does he come from? Why would he want to do terrible things like making young children kill for him?"

Before Barracus could answer, a booming voice was heard. They recognised it as the voice of the Dinosaur, but it didn't seem to come from any definite direction.

"What are you doing lying there, stupid?" boomed the voice. "Get up and come back!" Immediately the children got up -- and vanished.

"The children... They aren't dead?" muttered Barracus in surprise. "Barney's power is even greater than I thought... No, this won't do, I must do something about it..."

Barracus dashed off. Luke meant to stop him, but changed his mind.

"How do you like it," sighed Luke. "Just as we set foot here we straight away have to run into some Dinosaur thing that makes young kids kill people, plus a weirdo who kills young kids. And that's not to mention the accident Jar Jar encountered just before we came. Fellas, I have to say I'm really not looking forward to the birthday party anymore after all this..."

"Actuallisa, itsa partly meesa fault toosa," said Jar Jar. "Earlier the Dinosa just asked meesa whether meesa wantsa any free candysa, but I scoldsa him becausa he looksa so stupidsa, so he got madsa..."

When Luke heard this, he got really angry with Jar Jar. "Why did you provoke him like this? Had you nothing better to do? All he did was ask you if you wanted some candy, he didn't bite you or anything like that! And may I ask just how good-looking you think you yourself are?"

But before he could continue, an elderly hobbit came to them and said, "Greetings!"

[uss]

sorry for not putting more details. B.A. Barracus is the A-Teams big black guy, who always has silly comments like "sucka!" and "fool!". a rather wierd character.

An old man walks on the planet of Naboo, with his red cape and hat. The old man is Elminster. He notices a Hut (not the hut as in shack, but the starwars Jabba the Hut) and he casts a fireball straight at. "NOOOOooOO, Jabba will hear of thiiiiissssssss" And then the Hut explodes.
"Jabba my but, besides, you slobbering idiots move to slow in rush hour.

[K T Ong]

"Greetings!" said the old Hobbit with enthusiasm. "I understand you're all here to attend Frodo Baggins' birthday party?"

"Well, uhhh..." stuttered Luke.

"Yessa, yes!" cried Ghee Ghee. "Weesa heree to attendsa Frodosa partysa!"

Gandalf walked to Luke. "Luke," he said softly, "I understand how you feel. But since we're here already, I think we might as well go. What do you say?"

Luke was silent for a moment.

"All right," he said. "Let's go."

"Great!" said the Hobbit. "This way, folks!"

**************************************************

There were lots of people at the party, which was held in the open under a huge tree. Decorative trinkets hung from the branches, and food and drink in large quantities were served. There were scones and eclairs, pineapples and durians, croissants and doughnuts, pizzas and Oreos, and large bottles of 7-up and Coca-Cola. An Elven rock band was playing Rock-and-Roll music. Elves, dwarves, Hobbits, humans, Martians, Klingons, Ewoks and Looney Tunes and Walt Disney characters talked and laughed.

Luke was helping himself to some muesli from Tatooine when a strange youth approached him. The youth had a large scar on his face and carried a curious-looking weapon which looked neither like a sword nor a gun. "Hi," he said to Luke, "I'm Squall Lionheart. Who are you?"

"I'm Luke Skywalker," replied Luke. "I'm an apprentice Jedi."

"Yeah, heard of you Jedis," said Squall. "I'd recognise one from a thousand miles away. I myself come from a special military academy, too."

"What sort of military academy is that?" asked Luke.

"You don't have to know that much," answered Squall. "Just know that the whole thing's a conspiracy brewed up by this stupid Japanese gaming company that has nothing better to do than to copy ideas from used American entertainment stuff. Frankly, I'd be ashamed to tell you of this so-called military academy -- everyone would be able to tell that it's copied from you Jedis..."

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Before Luke can recover from his shock, a short, stocky fella breaks from the crowd and comes to join them.

"Hey Bub, cute pajamas you got there. I'm looking for some big-wig named Gandalf....do you know where I could find him"

"I'M GANDALF" answered Luke's companion. "And who might you be. You're just a bit too tall to be a hobbit, although you're certainly hairy enough".

The newcomer raised a fist towards the wizards face and 3 long metallic "claws" sprang from the back of his hand.

"Watch yerself, wizard. I don't take kindly to insults." He then retracted his claws and lowered his hand.

"But if you are this Gandalf fellow, then I was told to offer you my help. You can call Wolverine or Logan. Doesn't matter which one to me. I have some experience with Japanese culture and cursed blades that might be useful."

"But before we get started....where can a fella get a mug of brew around here?"

[K T Ong]

(Hey, Cerek, where's that image of a big, handsome Norseman in your sig? )

**************************************************

"I'll see you later," said Squall Lionheart to Luke as he left. "Gotta go see my sweetheart Rinoa Heartilly."

Meanwhile, Gandalf stretched out a palm and gestured. "Abracadabra," he said -- and a large glass of strong Vodka appeared in his hands. "Here, Sir," said Gandalf as he handed the glass of Vodka to an astonished Wolverine.

"You have your 'claws'; I have my spells," said Gandalf with a smile. "But I would be curious to know if you don't mind, Sir: who sent you? And what's this thing about cursed Japanese blades?"

But before Wolverine could answer, a loud and somewhat squeaky voice announced:

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please. This is the moment we've all been waiting for -- Frodo Baggins is now going to blow out the candles! Come, let's sing 'Happy Birthday' for our beloved host!"

A short, fat Hobbit with slitty eyes, pimples all over his face and a missing front tooth walked through the crowds towards the birthday cake. Obviously this was Frodo. As he reached the cake everyone at the party started to sing loudly:

Haaaa-pee birrrrth-daaaay toooo yoooouuuu...
Haaaa-pee birrrrth-daaaay toooo yoooouuuu...
Haaaa-pee BIRRRRTH-DAAAAY deeeear Froooo-doooooooooooooooo...

(A cream pie suddenly flies towards Frodo and goes splat right in his face.)

Haaaa-pee birrrrth-daaaay toooo yoooouuuu!!

[uss]

B.A. looks at everybody in the room and says:"allright, sucka! we get outta this birthday and whoop some monster butt! get going, fool! if you don´t, you`se a sucka!" everybody ignores this stupid fat black guy covered with jewelry, and the story goes on..

[K T Ong]

...Everybody ignored the fat, black guy, that is, except for one.

Wolverine was going to explain to Gandalf who sent him and the rest of it when this fat, black guy caught hold of his attention with his hollering. Somehow he felt attracted to this stranger and just had to talk to him. "I'll be with ya in a minute, bub," said Wolverine to Gandalf as he stood up and prepared to leave. "Wanna talk to someone around here. Thanks for the booze."

Wolverine then wound his way through the crowds and made his way to Barracus. "Hey, chum," he growled, "I like yer attitude. Who're you and what's that ya said earlier about whopping this monster butt?"

**************************************************

Frodo wiped his face and grinned as everyone laughed and applauded him. He did not get upset because he knew it was a good-natured joke played on him by fellow Hobbits. As he blew out the candles, the crowd cheered so loudly one would have imagined it could be heard all over Middle-Earth.

A long line of strange creatures suddenly came out from the crowds towards Frodo, each bearing a large present. But for the fact that they were bipedal and obviously intelligent, they would actually have been thought of merely as common animals.

"Happy birthday, doc," said the one leading the line. "I'm Bugs Bunny and these are my friends. We would like to give you some birthday presents and say thank you for the party!"

"Thank you, thank you very much for the presents!" replied Frodo, grinning broadly. "Plase enjoy yourselves all you want tonight!" And he and Bugs Bunny hugged each other as he took the present.

At length Bugs Bunny's friends all exchanged hugs with Frodo and gave him their respective presents. "Come, Frodo, cut the cake!" said Aragorn excitedly as he handed the knife to Frodo. "I'll get all the dishes ready so we can serve it to your guests!"

But as Frodo took the knife and was about to cut the cake, there was suddenly a flurry of cherry blossoms and yet another strange creature appeared, except it was all in black armor.

"Haaaaiiii-yeeeeeeee!!" cried the stranger as he drew out a long, red katana that had purple lightning bolts shooting all over it and swung it around a few times as if performing a sword dance. The crowd was momentarily shocked by this unexpected intruder.

Then the intruder sheathed his katana and strode towards Frodo. "Hi-ya, Frodo!" shouted the stranger, slapping Frodo in the back. "I'm Death-killa, the android ranger! Lots of gals like me! Can I join your birthday party, too? Huh?"

Seeing that he was to all appearances but another guest, everyone resumed his/her/its own business of eating, drinking and chatting.

Frodo's initially apprehensive face quickly turned into a broad grin again. "Surrrre," he said, "You're most welcome, friend!" Then he discreetly pulled Deathkiller towards him. "But do you have... Uhhh... Any nice birthday present for me?"

"Uhhh... Gee, sorry," apologised Deathkiller, "ain't got no presents for you..."

Frodo's normally round face sagged so much upon hearing the disappointing words, it nearly turned as long as a cucumber. Deathkiller could see that his host was very disappointed and just kept quiet.

"Look, Frodo," comforted Aragorn, "you already have enough presents! How many more would you want? Aren't three cartfuls already enough? Come, let's cut the cake."

Deathkiller suddenly perked up with excitement. "Cut the cake?" he cried. "Look, I can help you do it very easily!Come! Let me show you what the immaculate swordsmanship of the ancient samurai can do! Haaaaiiii-yeeeeeeee..." And he drew his katana and whirled about in a blur. In a moment the cake vanished and amidst the sounds of 'swish, swish, swish' one plate of ready-sliced cake after another swiftly flew towards every single guest in the party and landed neatly before him/her/it, ready to be served.

"Show off!" muttered Aragorn.

Elminster suddenly apeared straight in the party. "WHERE THE HELL IS GANDALF! A LOUSY EXCUSE FOR A MAGE!!!!!!!!!!" Elminster spots him. "THERE YOU ARE, GANDALF, LETS FIGHT, OR ARE YA CHICKIN!"