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Old 03-21-2001, 11:46 AM   #111
Stealthy
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Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Dundee in Bonnie Scotland
Posts: 543
Oh, how's this for my new sig?

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Watch out for LadyWendy's lovebites!

Click here for the album site.

Shadow Mage of the OHF.

Funny Bone of the LH
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Old 03-21-2001, 04:44 PM   #112
Charean
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Join Date: March 6, 2001
Location: Waxahachie, TX
Age: 53
Posts: 2,201
**************WARNING******************

*******READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**********KILLER JOKE*****************************

[b]drumroll please.....[\b]

The following is said to be written by actual students and are "genuine, authentic, and unretouched."


In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The Fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother.
The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was, by profession, a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.


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Let me know if you think this does not qualify - heck, I can't type for LMAO!!




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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Joke of the Laughing Hyenas
Aquisition master of the Finest of Humours - and the Killer Joke
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Old 03-22-2001, 02:29 AM   #113
Killer
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Location: sweden
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can i join
.
.
.
.
.

death is the way of life Killer
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Old 03-24-2001, 03:06 PM   #114
Charean
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*bump*
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Old 03-24-2001, 11:05 PM   #115
bilqis
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Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: WA, USA
Age: 60
Posts: 1,328
bumpety-bump again


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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
(Skald, dragon trainer, & member of The Laughing Hyenas)
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Old 03-25-2001, 02:39 AM   #116
Yorick
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Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam)
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Very good Charean.
Did you know Peter was the smallest man in the bible (he slept on his watch)
Closely followed by Nehemiah (knee high Miah)

The largest person was the woman of Samaria (some area)

Love the gags.

Did you get my reply in the "Where are everyone" thread?

Killer! TALK ABOUT YOURSELF. We would be glad to have you in but we know nothing about you!!!!! Head over to the Gen discussions forum and fill out Ladyzekkes or Melusines q/a forms. Consider yourself a member from this day forth, but remember we're all friends here. We don't want an enemy at our backs now do we???

Mr. Helm champion, I saw your post. Feel free to do the same. Tell us a yarn, a gag or a life story. We must be entertained!

I think Killer qualifies AS a gag.... oops! (Joshing, joshing...)


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Where were Hamlet and Horatio when I needed them?!

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!
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Old 03-29-2001, 08:30 AM   #117
Aurum
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Join Date: March 15, 2001
Location: Shangrila ; (Torreon, Coahuila, Mexico).
Age: 40
Posts: 248
???

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When The world of the deads comes,
we will already be there.
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Old 04-06-2001, 05:15 AM   #118
Yorick
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Join Date: January 7, 2001
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Age: 45
Posts: 9,226
No, we shall not fade from conciousness.

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O.K..... what do I do now?


A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!
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Old 04-07-2001, 08:01 AM   #119
Charean
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*bump*
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