Ideas for a better Storyline, please.

Okay I'm about half way through an adventure but I believe that my storyline lacks something. Any Ideas will be appreciated.

----The Story So Far--- You have lived most of your life here, in the small City of Nestleroot. Your family was killed by barbarians when you were only 3. A small hobbit took care of you until he passed away, you were 16. Now days you have your own house and do what you please. All was well until monsters started appearing all over the city.
The City guard fought bravely, but were cut down where they stood. Everyone has left the city in the hope that the evil will pass. Only adventuters live here now, looking for a fight and looking for wealth and riches. You have grown up to become quite an adventurer yourself. It is your dream to vanquish all the evil that lies here in Nestleroot and restore it to the way it once was. Your first objective would be to get some helping hands. You should go to the 'Training Hall' on the West side of town. There you will find some loyal followers to help you on your quest.
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Now basically you walk around town, killing monsters for a while until you meet up with a wise man who sends you on quests. He tells you to kill certain people who just might be behind the trouble. Once you complete the quests, the (very trustworthy) wise man turns into a vampiress and tells you that you have just killed all her enimies and now she has the power to destroy the town once and for all. From here on in you chase after the vampiress from location to location until you track her down to an old cathedral for the final confrentation.

[ 07-02-2002, 09:31 AM: Message edited by: Deathbringer ]

[Warlock]

Hi Deathbringer,

What you need to do is look at extra plots in the story line, perhaps a long-lost relative of one of the characters returns or is discovered?

Something that will change the direction of the story to some degree while stille allowing the party to obtain its main goal at the end.

The possibilities are endless so use your imagination to fill out the story some more.

Hope this helps

Cheers

Warlock

Ah, kind of like the Baldur's Gate storyline. Actually thinking about it, that storyline was rather intriguing and made me want to play the game more and more. I'll try something like this maybe, without copying it of course.

Thanks Warlock.

[Legolas]

Well, the story you have right now does look a bit like the one in Icewind Dale

There are countless possibilities for a storyline, but are you looking for a story to explain the things that happen you've already thought up, or are you looking for a story after which you'll think of things that'll take place?

[SilentThief]

If you need plot and storyline ideas there were some products out there that helped frustrated DM's (like me) flush out the story, For example "The DM's guide to villains" or somename like that. The dea is to develop a backstory for your villain as to how he got where he is today. You don't have to have a 100% complete story, but tio define why they do what they do, kinda like give your villain an interview. Another product (called "the adventure cookbook") was filled with plot twists, monsters used, settings, ect that could be chosen or rolled up.
Now, if you don't have access to those then as a helping hand I'd say this: make it simple then work to complex. What do I mean? well, write the basics of the basic story down in a linear list, then add stuff, for example from your post:

start - walk around town - kill monsters -meet with wise man - go on
quests - complete the quests - kill final boss.

Now do your best to mess that line up, for example: what if you cross some NPC who says not to trust the wise man, and what if one of the quests involved finding a magic item (some of that "power to destroy the town") that was historically an evil item. That same item could be in the hands of a priest (Good and guarding it, evil and using it) and he offers up to give it if you do something for him, or you have to take it by force, or maybe its part of a dragon horde.
what if the vampiress has a slave vampire that is in direct competition with your player and the slave is always getting into the mix or interfering...

Hope that gives some ideas.

Silentthief

[Albromor]

As I was reading your description of the town one image kept popping up: Post-Apocalyptic. I think the kind of setting you are making has tremendous potential, so much so that a BG or IWD plot-likeness could be easily superceeded. Imagine a town/city that is basically empty of civilization, but within its parameters are several factions vying for power or just simply wealth. To go solo is a dangerous thing indeed. So I believe a major part of the plot is discovering who can and should be members of your party. And if you do form a party how does this affect the current power structure? There can be some real interesting plots within your main plot. One thing I REALLY like about your plot is that the main PC isn't some child of some diety or has blood lines of royalty, etc. Been there, done that. Other questions arise: Where does one get food and supplies from? What kind of law, if any, rules the town? True, no government is in place, but there WILL be unwritten rules within this "community." Again, Deathbringer, I think there is real potential and you're only limited by your imagination.