Ironworks Rassies 07'

[Dreamer128]

I think the topic says it all. I've ofttimes watched movies that were so insanely poor I felt like attacking my television with a brick stone. Luckily, I came to the conclusion that complaining about them on Ironworks may actually prove to be an equally satisfying and considerably cheaper alternative. Therefor, I'd like to invite you all to the first Ironworks Raspberry Awards. I propose the following category's:


1) -Best 'so-bad-it's-good movie'

2) -Worst overall movie

3) -Most predictable movie

4) -Worst director/actor/actress

5) -Worst Uwe Boll movie (No, this is not a rhetorical question)

6) -Most disturbing movie-moment

7) -Most cringing movie-moment

[Thoran]

I'm guessing you mean "over the last year" as opposed to "ever".

I normally don't go to the cinema a lot but this year I've been travelling for work and caught a bunch of flicks out of boredom on the road. I'm also going to include DVD movies I watched for the first time.

So in the last year...

1) -Best 'so-bad-it's-good movie' - Ghost Rider

2) -Worst overall movie - The Departed

3) -Most predictable movie - The Departed

3a) -Worst Plot/Story - 28 Weeks Later

4) -Worst director - Antoine Fuqua for Shooter
-actor -
-actress -

5) -Worst Uwe Boll movie (No, this is not a rhetorical question)- don't watch em.

6) -Most disturbing movie-moment - the broken bottle scene from Pan's Labyrinth.

7) -Most cringing movie-moment - the scene in '28 Weeks Later' where the military rounds up all the civilians and locks them in the unlight basement of a building "to keep them safe" (all without telling anyone why they were being locked in an unlight basement). YEA... zombies would never think to look in the basement or follow the sounds of screaming panic... can you say 'plot device'? That one scene singlehandedly ruined the whole movie.

[ 07-31-2007, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: Thoran ]

[Dreamer128]

Actually, the '07' in the topic title is purely cosmetic. I do mean 'ever', since it'll likely make for a more humorous discussion.

1)Demolition Man, with Sylvester Stallone. If you haven't seen this action/comedy, than you definitely should. Stallone, playing the same character he always does, ends up in a future where all forms of violence and coarse language have been banned. A great parody on his usual work.

2)Presumably 'The Patriot', with our very own Mel Gibson. In which a rather interesting period of history is turned into an historically inaccurate, overly violent, extremely black-and-white melodrama. At times, I felt like I was watching a prequel to the Death Wish series.

3)The latest installment in the Fantastic Four series. Not only can you see every plot twist coming from miles away (since the movie remains true to the classic Hollywood formula), some of the dialogues are so over-cliched you can actually predict what the main characters are going to say to one another. And although the movie itself was very entertaining, the plot was really, really bad. Here is an example: (spoilers)

U.S General: ,,I don't trust you, Reed. You're too much of a nerd. Instead, I'll turn to that nice, trustworthy jock of a doctor Von Doom (!). Who may have tried to conquer the world and who may be wearing a sinister black outfit that makes him look like Emperor Palpatine (note: he can also shoot lightning from his fingers), but at least he gets my football analogies. Also, his name alone inspires trust. In fact, I think I'll give him access to an alien super weapon straight away.''

5)Bloodrayne, hands down. Attending a week-long knitting seminar would have been more exciting than watching this abomination. I tend to find Uwe's movies mildly entertaining, but in this case he should never have axed the original setting (Nazi's versus Vampires).

6) Ever seen the classic 70s exploitation movie 'Ilsa - She-wolf of the SS? If not, than don't. During one of several gruesome castration scenes this movie features, one the people in my company actually hid under a blanket. Note: this movie actually made mainstream cinema's when it came out.

7) Star Wars Episode 3: Obi-Wan and Anakin find the time for a short conversation while floating inches above a lava-river. Obi-Wan: ,,Anakin, the emperor is evil!'' Anakin: ,,Well, from my perspective the Jedi are evil!'' This line actually made me feel like banging my head against the wall in the idle hope it would all go away. Some of the conversations between Anakin and Padme (,,No, because I love YOU so much'') are nearly almost just as bad.

[ 07-31-2007, 12:24 PM: Message edited by: Dreamer128 ]

[Balintherlas]

Whoa, you thought the Departed sucked?
I'd have to think about my answers for a bit, but I've got one answer:

2) Black Xmas

[Dreamer128]

In defense of 28 weeks later: I don't think I've ever seen a zombie movie with a good plot.

[Black Baron]

I award raspberry to "Munich". Some crazy movie that represents ultra pacifism. I wonder if it was filmed in Switzerland. [img]graemlins/1puke.gif[/img]

[Thoran]

Originally posted by Dreamer128: In defense of 28 weeks later: I don't think I've ever seen a zombie movie with a good plot.

lol... amen to that (but in most cases that's part of the fun), I think my gripe in this instance was that the story had the POTENTIAL to really work well instead of relying on the 'corny horror flick' low expectations to get by. Nasty virus makes folks insane... cool spin that adds some real 'suspension of disbelief' clout to the movie. 28 days later I though was really very good, but this one cut too many corners plot wise imo.

I admit... I tend to rank movies badly as much based on the failure to live up to potential as I do for overall merit. I thought 28 weeks later COULD have been a much better movie than it was.

[Thoran]

So looking beyond last year... the worst movie I've seen in the last decade or so was 'Alexander'. It's perhaps the only movie I've ever went through the bother of renting and STILL was not able to struggle through.

For me, the 'Bad movies I Love' award will ALWAYS go to the Evildead series, and Bruce Campbell is definitely THE BEST bad actor in the world in my book. In fact, he's so good at being a bad actor that I think he's probably a great actor ACTING like a bad actor (got us all faked out he does).

[Thoran]

Originally posted by Balintherlas: Whoa, you thought the Departed sucked? I'd have to think about my answers for a bit, but I've got one answer: 2) Black Xmas

Yea I was very disappointed... but as I said earlier... I tend to include a factor for 'level of disappointment' in my ratings, and I was VERY disappointed with that movie. After all the hype I was expecting a movie to give "Gangs of New York" a run for it's money, but instead I got a supremely predictable plot, trite cookie cutter characters and melodramatic 'look at me I'm a big star' acting from half the cast.

Bleh... it was DEFINITELY the worst move I watched over the last year relative to expectations, but I'll grant that it wasn't the worst in an absolute sense.

[Balintherlas]

Maybe thats why we differ, I didn't expect much, I didn't even go see it in theatres. I rented it and liked it so much I bought it.