THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER

Sazerac · 04-06-2001, 12:50 AM

THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER

Sazerac, Editor
Special Reporter/Photojournalist: Scronan

SPECIAL ALERT BULLETIN: DANGEROUS BREW POTENTIALLY HARMFUL FOR ADVENTURERS

This is an emergency bulletin posted in the public interest. Several cases of "Ukabu Brew", the local drink of the Toads of Toad Village, have been tampered with a strange weed, known as Illycium Draconis, or Dragonwort. The addition of this particular herb to the brew, creating what is commonly known on the street as "Dragon Ukabu Brew", has been known to cause hallucinations, paranoid delusional complexes, and in rare cases, death.

The latest victim of "Dragon Ukabu Brew" poisoning is a young Pixie Zenmaster named Vesper, who, after quaffing the tainted brew, began spazzing out, foaming at the mouth, and having auditory and visual hallucinations, believing that the Angel Kerah was speaking directly to him. Before his friends could do anything to stop him, he tore all his clothes off and escaped into the wilderness. Sources believe that he is hunting for Amazoni Mantraps to meet in the current Ishad N'ha Open challenge, for which the Vampire Paladin Shiva Lovecraft is currently the only contender.

"Vesper is a great guy," one of the pixie's adventuring comrades, who prefers to remain unnamed, commented, "but in the delusional state he's in, he is highly dangerous, even running around in his skivvies. A Zenmaster is a Zenmaster, and anyone encountering him in his current state should take extreme precaution before approaching him."

Above is the only available image of the erstwhile pixie, rendered from a composite forensic artist's drawing based on his description given by his comrades.

Our reporter in the field, Scronan, happened to catch an interview with Vesper before he went completely off his nut and escaped Ishad N'ha. Here's what Vesper had to say:

"Kerah has called upon me to smite all evil left in the Gael Serran. And in m' breeches too. I will defeat all the monsters that remain, especially the Mantraps. They make good coleslaw."

It was soon after this that the pixie stripped down to his bare skin and fled the city in search of the giant herbifores.

Sightings of the loony but intrepid Zenmaster have been reported in the Shire. One Torin, Samurai Hunter, reported incendiarily that the Zenmaster had rudely questioned him about the whereabouts of the Mantraps. The samurai reportedly is lucky to have escaped with his life.

Yet another traveler, Jathil the Wanderer, witnessed first the Zenmaster insulting a group of Highland Raiders, provoking them with filthy epithets, rude armpit noises, questioning their mutual lineage, and finally inciting them to "bite him" before killing them. Jathil also was able to obtain this photograph of the maddened Pixie threatening a Swamp Muck with rude insinuations:

"These are known symptoms of Dragon Ukabu Brew poisoning," said Father Munsey of the Ishad N'ha Temple. "If the subject survives the initial system shock, he or she will have delusions of grandeur, fancying themselves to be a hero or chosen of the gods. We just had such a case last week; one Kol, a monk formerly of the Serpent Temple, believing that he was hearing messages from Kerah herself. Unfortunately, he too escaped and was last seen heading for the Dragonspire. No doubt the poor wretch will soon be killed. Apparently, delusions of divine inspiration from the Angel Kerah are an all-too-common manifestation, along with the preponderance of gutter language in their garbled speech.

A divine channeling of the Angel Kerah at the Temple produced the following reaction from the Holy Protector of the Gael Serran:

"I'm flattered that Vesper would think I blessed him in his quest for divine coleslaw, but I knew not of his deeds. I can only hope he will succeed in his quest, for Anephas has quite a taste for coleslaw."

Quite understandably, Vesper's wife and friends are worried about their friend, and are desperate to retrieve him so that he may be treated for his condition and returned, hopefully, to some semblance of normality. "Although," another one of his adventuring companions quoted, "one must apply a highly liberal definition of 'normality' when referring to Vesper even in the best of circumstances."

One toad of the Toad Village, Biggiwikki, is sought for questioning in the ongoing investigation of the Dragon Ukabu Brew.

If you or anyone you know have seen Vesper (and you WILL know him when you see him, as there are very few crazed naked Pixies running around the Shire accosting travelers over Mantraps), please contact the Ishad N'ha Temple at 1-800-KERAH-LUV. Operators at the Temple are standing by to receive your call. All leads are to be kept strictly confidential.

Also: If you should come across any form of Ukabu Brew, whatever you do, DO NOT IMBIBE IT! The consequences are highly volatile, and could prove fatal. Return any kegs or containers of Ukabu Brew to your nearest Temple for further investigation and testing of their contents.

Keep watching for updates at the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW!

-Sazerac, Editor

[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 04-06-2001).]

04-06-2001, 01:00 AM

Note To Self: 1-800-KERAH-LUV. Operators at the Temple are standing by to receive your call. All leads are to be kept strictly confidential.
Will keep this number handy for just in case purposes!

Frightening fact, that Vesper, of all Pixie Zenmasters is a victim of Dragon Ukabu Brew!

ROFLMfAO at the texts I can't help it!

Oh! The poor guy...in his skivs and all!

Will keep my eyes open (HOPING to see him LOL) and will keep reading in hopes that he is captured or at least survives his "trip"!

Moni

adam warlock · 04-06-2001, 09:01 AM

Naw... Vesper just suffering from the effects of the brew... called 'hangover'

Saz strikes again!
lol

------------------

Adam Mage/Warlock

Scronan · 04-06-2001, 10:20 AM

The entire tale is forthcoming, watch at Slip's site!

Scronan

Scronan · 04-07-2001, 12:09 AM

Hi Everyone,

*bump!*

The final draft of the new chapter has been sent to Slip, so please watch for updates about when it will up! Look for lots of laughs, mantraps and many other oddities!

Thank you Saz for helping with the first GSE and fanfic combo, I think my shameless plugs may help me reach a few more readers!

Yay!

Scronan

------------------

"I am Scronan, Master of the Twisted Blade. Guard your ale, and your life."

Sazerac · 04-07-2001, 02:53 PM

Gentle readers: A partial update of this peculiar story can now be found at the following site:

http://www.seastop.com/wwscronan3.htm

Find out the truth about Dragon Ukabu Brew!

Find out the horrible effect it has upon young pixies!

Stay tuned for further updates to the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW!

-Sazerac, Editor

Balgin · 04-07-2001, 05:43 PM

Oh, so that's what the assassin gave me when I asked him why he wanted to see Gareth. It tasted hideous (and the aftertaste wasn't much better). It appears to have a strange effect on us Stouts, in that it seems to cure the type of poison that I contacted in the snake temple. However, the side effects of such a curative involved an all night vomiting session (perhaps the eighteen pints of mead, beer and ale in mixed quantities added to the reaction along with that curry), and solidification of snot. I still have the offending article in it's solid state as evidence. I'm not loaning it out to people who want it to be their animal companion or who want to use it to intimidate highland rogues! Since I don't know how to dial numbers I swore at the phone and then went off and discovered that Gorthius has quite a lot to say about Stout culture (and it's better than what Scanthril the racist says). Just ask him about the stout kingdom when he mentions it and you're well away. His speeches (punctuated by projectile vomiting with wich I decorated his hut) offered me an interesting insight into the human mindset.

BTW if the Stouts have a home in the Gael Serran why don't the Elves or Gnomes seem to live anywhere. Maybe they just aren't brave enough to live outside the cities. Huh!

------------------
Balgin, the Dwarf

04-06-2001, 12:50 AM	#1
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER Sazerac, Editor Special Reporter/Photojournalist: Scronan SPECIAL ALERT BULLETIN: DANGEROUS BREW POTENTIALLY HARMFUL FOR ADVENTURERS This is an emergency bulletin posted in the public interest. Several cases of "Ukabu Brew", the local drink of the Toads of Toad Village, have been tampered with a strange weed, known as Illycium Draconis, or Dragonwort. The addition of this particular herb to the brew, creating what is commonly known on the street as "Dragon Ukabu Brew", has been known to cause hallucinations, paranoid delusional complexes, and in rare cases, death. The latest victim of "Dragon Ukabu Brew" poisoning is a young Pixie Zenmaster named Vesper, who, after quaffing the tainted brew, began spazzing out, foaming at the mouth, and having auditory and visual hallucinations, believing that the Angel Kerah was speaking directly to him. Before his friends could do anything to stop him, he tore all his clothes off and escaped into the wilderness. Sources believe that he is hunting for Amazoni Mantraps to meet in the current Ishad N'ha Open challenge, for which the Vampire Paladin Shiva Lovecraft is currently the only contender. "Vesper is a great guy," one of the pixie's adventuring comrades, who prefers to remain unnamed, commented, "but in the delusional state he's in, he is highly dangerous, even running around in his skivvies. A Zenmaster is a Zenmaster, and anyone encountering him in his current state should take extreme precaution before approaching him." Above is the only available image of the erstwhile pixie, rendered from a composite forensic artist's drawing based on his description given by his comrades. Our reporter in the field, Scronan, happened to catch an interview with Vesper before he went completely off his nut and escaped Ishad N'ha. Here's what Vesper had to say: "Kerah has called upon me to smite all evil left in the Gael Serran. And in m' breeches too. I will defeat all the monsters that remain, especially the Mantraps. They make good coleslaw." It was soon after this that the pixie stripped down to his bare skin and fled the city in search of the giant herbifores. Sightings of the loony but intrepid Zenmaster have been reported in the Shire. One Torin, Samurai Hunter, reported incendiarily that the Zenmaster had rudely questioned him about the whereabouts of the Mantraps. The samurai reportedly is lucky to have escaped with his life. Yet another traveler, Jathil the Wanderer, witnessed first the Zenmaster insulting a group of Highland Raiders, provoking them with filthy epithets, rude armpit noises, questioning their mutual lineage, and finally inciting them to "bite him" before killing them. Jathil also was able to obtain this photograph of the maddened Pixie threatening a Swamp Muck with rude insinuations: "These are known symptoms of Dragon Ukabu Brew poisoning," said Father Munsey of the Ishad N'ha Temple. "If the subject survives the initial system shock, he or she will have delusions of grandeur, fancying themselves to be a hero or chosen of the gods. We just had such a case last week; one Kol, a monk formerly of the Serpent Temple, believing that he was hearing messages from Kerah herself. Unfortunately, he too escaped and was last seen heading for the Dragonspire. No doubt the poor wretch will soon be killed. Apparently, delusions of divine inspiration from the Angel Kerah are an all-too-common manifestation, along with the preponderance of gutter language in their garbled speech. A divine channeling of the Angel Kerah at the Temple produced the following reaction from the Holy Protector of the Gael Serran: "I'm flattered that Vesper would think I blessed him in his quest for divine coleslaw, but I knew not of his deeds. I can only hope he will succeed in his quest, for Anephas has quite a taste for coleslaw." Quite understandably, Vesper's wife and friends are worried about their friend, and are desperate to retrieve him so that he may be treated for his condition and returned, hopefully, to some semblance of normality. "Although," another one of his adventuring companions quoted, "one must apply a highly liberal definition of 'normality' when referring to Vesper even in the best of circumstances." One toad of the Toad Village, Biggiwikki, is sought for questioning in the ongoing investigation of the Dragon Ukabu Brew. If you or anyone you know have seen Vesper (and you WILL know him when you see him, as there are very few crazed naked Pixies running around the Shire accosting travelers over Mantraps), please contact the Ishad N'ha Temple at 1-800-KERAH-LUV. Operators at the Temple are standing by to receive your call. All leads are to be kept strictly confidential. Also: If you should come across any form of Ukabu Brew, whatever you do, DO NOT IMBIBE IT! The consequences are highly volatile, and could prove fatal. Return any kegs or containers of Ukabu Brew to your nearest Temple for further investigation and testing of their contents. Keep watching for updates at the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW! -Sazerac, Editor [This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 04-06-2001).]

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04-06-2001, 01:00 AM	#2
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	Note To Self: 1-800-KERAH-LUV. Operators at the Temple are standing by to receive your call. All leads are to be kept strictly confidential. Will keep this number handy for just in case purposes! Frightening fact, that Vesper, of all Pixie Zenmasters is a victim of Dragon Ukabu Brew! ROFLMfAO at the texts I can't help it! Oh! The poor guy...in his skivs and all! Will keep my eyes open (HOPING to see him LOL) and will keep reading in hopes that he is captured or at least survives his "trip"! Moni

04-06-2001, 09:01 AM	#3
adam warlock Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: I live inside of my mind..... Age: 53 Posts: 3,234	Naw... Vesper just suffering from the effects of the brew... called 'hangover' Saz strikes again! lol ------------------ Adam Mage/Warlock

04-06-2001, 10:20 AM	#4
Scronan Zhentarim Guard Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Washington State Posts: 315	The entire tale is forthcoming, watch at Slip's site! Scronan

04-07-2001, 12:09 AM	#5
Scronan Zhentarim Guard Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Washington State Posts: 315	Hi Everyone, bump! The final draft of the new chapter has been sent to Slip, so please watch for updates about when it will up! Look for lots of laughs, mantraps and many other oddities! Thank you Saz for helping with the first GSE and fanfic combo, I think my shameless plugs may help me reach a few more readers! Yay! Scronan ------------------ "I am Scronan, Master of the Twisted Blade. Guard your ale, and your life."

04-07-2001, 02:53 PM	#6
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	Gentle readers: A partial update of this peculiar story can now be found at the following site: http://www.seastop.com/wwscronan3.htm Find out the truth about Dragon Ukabu Brew! Find out the horrible effect it has upon young pixies! Stay tuned for further updates to the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW! -Sazerac, Editor

04-07-2001, 05:43 PM	#7
Balgin Elminster Join Date: March 4, 2001 Location: Bournemouth,Hampshire,England Posts: 443	Oh, so that's what the assassin gave me when I asked him why he wanted to see Gareth. It tasted hideous (and the aftertaste wasn't much better). It appears to have a strange effect on us Stouts, in that it seems to cure the type of poison that I contacted in the snake temple. However, the side effects of such a curative involved an all night vomiting session (perhaps the eighteen pints of mead, beer and ale in mixed quantities added to the reaction along with that curry), and solidification of snot. I still have the offending article in it's solid state as evidence. I'm not loaning it out to people who want it to be their animal companion or who want to use it to intimidate highland rogues! Since I don't know how to dial numbers I swore at the phone and then went off and discovered that Gorthius has quite a lot to say about Stout culture (and it's better than what Scanthril the racist says). Just ask him about the stout kingdom when he mentions it and you're well away. His speeches (punctuated by projectile vomiting with wich I decorated his hut) offered me an interesting insight into the human mindset. BTW if the Stouts have a home in the Gael Serran why don't the Elves or Gnomes seem to live anywhere. Maybe they just aren't brave enough to live outside the cities. Huh! ------------------ Balgin, the Dwarf

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