Odd News: September 2011

[Bungleau]

Gumby calls it a robbery, clerk thinks it's a joke ASSOCIATED PRESS SAN DIEGO — A person dressed as Gumby walked into a Southern California convenience store, claiming to have a gun and demanding money, but costume trouble and a skeptical clerk thwarted the would-be robber. Surveillance video shows someone — police think it was a man — in a bulky, green costume and another man entering 7-Eleven in Rancho Penasquitos early Monday. Gumby demanded money, but the store clerk thought it was a joke and ignored the life-size Claymation character, telling him he was cleaning up and didn't have time to waste, said San Diego police Detective Gary Hassen. "You don't think this is a robbery? I have a gun," the costumed man said, fumbling inside his costume as if trying to retrieve a weapon, Hassen said. But the green gloves seemed to get in the way, and rather than pull a gun, he dropped 26 cents on the floor, Hassen said. The video shows the second man, who came in with the Gumby suspect, but was not dressed as Pokey, walk out of the store. The costumed character "can't pick up the money and he can't get the gun," Hassen said. So when the other man pulls up in front of the store and honks, the would-be robber runs to the white or silver minivan and takes off, Hassen said. San Diego's KGTV News reported that the clerk told his boss he didn't know who Gumby was and described the character in the store as a "green SpongeBob SquarePants." The clerk didn't report the encounter, but his boss called police after viewing the surveillance tape several hours later. Police are taking the attempted theft very seriously, Hassen said. It doesn't matter if a potential robber is wearing a ski mask, a bandanna, a hoodie or a big, green head — it's still a disguise, he said. A reward of up to $1,000 is being offered by Crime Stoppers. No other Gumby thefts have been reported in the area, Hassen said. There have been no arrests, but police hope the surveillance tape will change that. People may not recognize the person under the Gumby suit, but his partner is very recognizable, Hassen said.

"Good job on the disguise and getaway, Marvin, but we're going to have to work more on the actual crime. You're not supposed to lose money when you rob someone..."

[Bungleau]

Dutch woman calls ex-boyfriend 65,000 times AP AMSTERDAM (AP) — Dutch prosecutors are charging a 42-year-old woman with stalking after she allegedly called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year. The 62-year-old victim from The Hague filed a police complaint in August due to the persistent phone calls. Police arrested the suspected stalker Monday, seizing several cell phones and computers from her home in Rotterdam. Hague prosecution spokeswoman Nicolette Stoel said Thursday the woman argued to judges at a preliminary hearing she had a relationship with the man and the number of calls she placed to him wasn't excessive. The man denied they had a relationship. The court ordered her not to contact him again.

Stalk much? That's... just about 180 calls per day, every day, for a year. Assuming you sleep for 8 hours a day (not likely, I know), that's 11 calls per hour, with a bonus call every fourth hour.

Puts my daughter's 13,000 texts per month into context, it does. She's stalking her friends.

[Azred]

My favorite so far is still Sonny the Samurai, the guy who was marching with his katana down the highway who told the police that he was "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs".

[Bungleau]

Man Sues White Castle Over Booth Size Even though we live in a supersized world, bigger is not always better. One devoted White Castle customer is suing the restaurant chain because he can't fit into the restaurant's booths. Martin Kessman, who weighs 290 pounds, complained to management for more than two years after repeatedly knocking his knee into the tables' metal supports. After the 64-year-old New York stockbroker sent a series of letters of complaint to the chain, he received what he called condescending responses. White Castle sent him free hamburger coupons and promised that it would expand its booth sizes. But the booths were never changed and Kessman is now taking his case to federal court. He is suing for bigger chairs and unspecified damages because he says the eatery is violating the Americans with Disabilities Act. (He compares himself to pregnant women and the handicapped.) The lawsuit, however, has not put an end to Kessman's love of mini burgers. Now, instead of going to White Castle himself, he sends his wife.

White Castles are small (2-inch square) burgers commonly known as slyders for the way they slyde through your digestive system. A high school friend of mine would grab 6 for breakfast on the way to school.

Avoids comments about guy becoming his own slyder... and if the weight's a disability, slyders aren't the answer

[Bungleau]

Facebook Mistake: Texas Juror Tried to ‘Friend’ Defendant Here’s a sad little memo to Jonathan Hudson of Arlington, Texas: If you’re on jury duty, and you’re assigned to a case, don’t try to “friend” the defendant on Facebook. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports the 22-year-old Hudson was one of the jurors picked last month to hear a case involving a 2008 auto wreck. After court recessed for the day on July 18, Hudson admits he tried to “friend” the defendant, Courtney Downing. “He’s a very, very nice kid,” said Steve Gordon, the attorney assigned to represent him. “I think he was just very naive about the rules of being on a jury.” Gordon said Hudson, who has a job as a pizza delivery man, was regularly updating his Facebook status — “stuff like, ‘Hey, I’m on jury duty. Kinda sucks. Sorta boring.’ And that was it.” If you’ve ever been on jury duty you’ve doubtless heard instructions not to discuss a case with anyone — not fellow jurors, not family or friends, certainly not strangers who may visit your Facebook page. In the halls of a courthouse, lawyers and staff treat jurors as if they were radioactive. Texas just recently added language to judges’ standard instructions to remind jurors that social media are just as off-limits as personal contact with the participants in a case. Apparently they didn’t sink in with Hudson, who sent defendant Downing that standard message: “Jonathan Hudson wants to be friends with you on Facebook.” She became concerned and told her lawyer, who told Judge Wade Birdwell. The next morning Hudson was off the case, and last week, having pleaded guilty to four counts of contempt of court, he was sentenced to two days of community service. “I’ve never seen this before,” prosecutor Chris Ponder said in the Star-Telegram. “But I’m afraid this is a new reality.” Gordon, Hudson’s attorney, agreed. “It’s just a different way of viewing yourself and what should be public about you,” he said in a phone interview. “Folks his age don’t think about it unless something bad happens.” Hudson could have been sentenced to six months in prison for contempt. He will do 16 hours of community service, as determined by the court bailiff, next week. “The original case resolved itself fairly quickly,” said attorney Gordon. “Unfortunately, it went on for Mr. Hudson.”

Didn't he read the FB rules? You're only supposed to friend people you actually know... not women you're trying to hit on.