Joke World 11-1-08

[Arvon]

A hiker became lost and ends up spending the next three days wandering around in the woods looking for food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle perched on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating the bird raw.

A park ranger stumbles onto the scene, finds the hiker eating the bird, and arrests him for killing an endangered species.

In court the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.

“Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty,” says the judge. “But I have to ask - what did the bald eagle taste like?”

“Well, your honor,” the hiker says, “it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl.”

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

good one,

[Arvon]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again, for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"
The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?"

[Arvon]

A> I don't like it when people draw cards from
the draw pile out of turn.


B> Why does it matter? The deck is shuffled,
so all the cards have an equal probability
of being anywhere in the deck.


A> Yeah, but the top two cards were supposed
to be mine. It's, like, pre-determined.


B> If anyone takes two cards off the deck that
you should have taken, just think of it as they
were predetermined to do so.


A> My friend Schroedinger used to say things
like that, and then his cat ended up dead.


B> It did?


A> Well, not until he peeked.