Is spanking a child inappropriate? (opinions)

[Mr. Mopery]

Let's qualify this from the start: I mean a swat on the keister, and not a particularly hard one. I do not mean: domestic violence; child abuse; hitting a child anywhere other than the posterior; pinching, ear tugging or other painful physical abuses; belts.

When I was a kid and I did something wrong (like trying to set the house on fire "'cause it would look prettier then"), my Parental Units would swat me. Not hard, generally, but occasionally with a paddle.

Do you think this kind of behaviour is harmful? Is it negative reinforcement?

Is there a better alternative, one that doesn't involve emotional blackmail?

[True_Moose]

My parents didn't spank me, and I'm glad they didn't. But I don't think it does any long term damage, really. As long as it's the ultimate punishment, and not handed out irresponsibly, I don't think it's a real problem. It all depends on the style of parenting. And is it negative reinforcement? No more than grounding a child.

[Chewbacca]

I think it can say to a child that anger and violence is an acceptable way to show love and concern, which I doubt is healthy to a mind in its most formative stages. I think spanking should reserved until a certain age, around 7 or 8 at the earliest, so they have a chance to cognitively grasp the purpose behind it.
Reason is spanking should include a discussion about spanking as a consequence for specific behavior and should not be done in anger. This is my personal opinion based on my understanding of child psycology. I make no statement that it is better or worse than anyone elses opinion.

[Yorick]

I will not be hitting or spanking my child.

[Djinn Raffo]

I think it's inappropriate. Especially in public. Putting the fear in em is a different story however.

[Mr. Mopery]

Originally posted by Djinn Raffo: I think it's inappropriate. Especially in public. Putting the fear in em is a different story however.

Assuming you're serious, what do you mean?

[Chewbacca]

Just for the record, I wont be spanking my children either, even in the context I put forth previously.

[The Hierophant]

A good growl and angry 'look' can be just as effective as a spank, but not always. The idea is to shock a child's mind into assoiating 'bad' behaviour (and every parents idea of what 'bad' behaviour is will be different) with unpleasant consequences. Merely being isolated froma parents affection and knowing that they are mad is enough to 'correct' some children. However, some simply cannot take a hint, and thus a little physical shock (ie: a decent whack on the backside) is needed to jolt them into acceptable behavior. Brutality is counter productive, spank/growl/shock no more than you need to to get the child to adhere to fair behaviour. Yet keep in mind that humans are animals, and as such there is no method of 'wild' social reinforcement/teaching that is below our species.

[Djinn Raffo]

Originally posted by Mr. Mopery: Assuming you're serious, what do you mean?

I mean staring daughter straight in the eye and hypnotizing her will to steal into submission.. no no dear.. thieving that wunderbar was wrong. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Moiraine]

Well, in theory I am against spanking, tough I am not a perfect person and I am a Latin woman with a temper, so I sometimes snap and slap. I would never administer a cold-blooded body punishment though.

I think though that as a parent, you have to, once in a while and not often, administer a real punishment. If you never do so, child might conclude that threats of 'getting the consequences of their actions' are empty, and I believe that it is ultimately a disservice to children not to teach them that the actions they undertake DO have consequences - it is a kind of vaccination, if you parents don't get the notion of responsibility across, life will, and in a much harsher way.

As soon as he had been grown up enough, in the cases when my son made a mistake, I gave her the option between getting punished or fixing the mistake by himself, with my help if needed - and he always chooses the second option now.

One anecdote : my father spanked once and only once in all my childhood. I was 6, and learning to ride a bicycle, and I fell down. My father dryly gave me a slap on the cheek and told me "Get back on" - I remember, I was so astonished by the slap that I got back on the bike and never fell down since ! That was the only time that my father ever hit me, and it worked a treat ...

I believe it is only hitting a child repeatedly and often that may arise fear and negative feelings. Besides, children have to learn to live with people who are not perfect, so if you really love them and thus they understand that you mean well even if you don't express it always the perfect way, they get along fine.