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03-16-2004, 07:36 PM
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Gold Dragon
 Join Date: March 29, 2002
Location: Canada
Age: 52
Posts: 2,534
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> > A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
> > speak. > > > > After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. > > > > The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous > > > > on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I > > start to get nervous, I take a sip." > > > > So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. > > > > At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. > > He proceeded to talk up a storm. > > > > Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the > > following note on the door: > > > > 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. > > > > 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. > > > > 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. > > > > 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. > > > > 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. > > > > 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. > > > > 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, > > Junior and the spook. > > > > 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. > > > > 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, > > don't say he was stoned off his ass. > > > > 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." > > > > > > 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take > > this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" . > > > > 12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,. > > > > 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub > > thanks for the grub, Yeah God. > > > > 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's > > not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. > >
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It\'s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye...then it becomes a sport.<br /> [img]\"http://members.shaw.ca/mtholdings/bsmeter.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> |
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03-16-2004, 07:40 PM
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#2 |
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Banned User
Join Date: November 1, 2003
Location: My own little world
Age: 34
Posts: 828
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I've seen this before
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03-16-2004, 08:03 PM
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#3 |
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40th Level Warrior
  Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 59
Posts: 16,981
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That's my kinda bible.
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03-16-2004, 08:16 PM
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#4 |
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Lord Ao
 Join Date: August 25, 2001
Location: Winchester ,Virginia , United States
Age: 72
Posts: 2,081
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That is Funny.
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Remember these are just games so don't get too upset when you get your ass handed to you in a hat box 
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03-16-2004, 08:30 PM
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#5 |
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Zhentarim Guard
 Join Date: December 31, 2003
Location: SE Tornado Belt
Age: 64
Posts: 341
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03-16-2004, 10:17 PM
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#6 | |
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Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 Join Date: May 10, 2002
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand.
Age: 43
Posts: 2,860
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Quote:
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[img]\"hosted/Hierophant.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Strewth! |
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03-16-2004, 11:21 PM
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#7 |
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Symbol of Cyric
 Join Date: March 28, 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 38
Posts: 1,124
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Hahaha
i laughed out loud for once at a couple of those. That was really good. best ones were 7, 9 and 12 |
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03-17-2004, 01:22 AM
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#8 |
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Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 Join Date: September 15, 2002
Location: Kennewick, WA
Age: 53
Posts: 3,166
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Now THAT is funny!!!
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03-17-2004, 02:40 AM
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#9 |
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Ra
 Join Date: March 11, 2001
Location: Ant Hill
Age: 50
Posts: 2,397
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I like my vodka mixed with white cranberry juice and a splash of rasberry liqueor.. mm.. that's good.
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03-17-2004, 05:15 AM
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#10 | |
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Avatar
 Join Date: July 15, 2002
Location: London, England
Age: 40
Posts: 506
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Quote:
. (liqourice YUM)
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\"RTFM\"<br />\"No i will NOT fix your computer\"<br />\"All\'s fair in sibling war\" |
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